Slightly freaking out...

kabrissette · June 2013

So I was just lurking on the 0-3 month board and I'm kinda freaking out. I'm a FTM so I've been nervous about what life will be like when baby arrives and reading some of their posts has me worried again. I don't know how I'm going to deal with no or very little sleep... right now I'm someone who needs a solid 8-9 hours to be a functioning human being. Plus all the worries about feeding and trying to get into a routine... Yep. I'm kind freaked out.

I know it will all work out and I'll do what I have to do at the time, but still... yikes. I feel like an emotional rollercoaster sometimes bouncing between excited and scared!

BaldwinC12 · June 2013

I was worried about the sleep thing for a while too... But we raise show cattle so every fall/winter/spring we are up every two hours checking cows for calving! Haha! Hopefully that has me at least somewhat prepared!

DebateThis · June 2013

Do what you can to arm yourself with as much information as possible and you'll probably feel a lot more calm. Take baby care classes and breastfeeding classes (if you want to BF), etc. Beyond that, don't even try to get into a routine for the first few weeks and just take each new challenge as it comes. Do what you need to do to survive, and as long as you have food and the baby has a clean butt and a full tummy, call it success.

(I say this as another FTM, but this is the overwhelming advice I'm getting from EVERYWHERE).

kris10bishop · June 2013

I get a little worried sometimes too. Then I remember all of the idiots out there who have somehow managed to raise healthy, decently behaved kids, and I feel a little more confident in my own abilities to do it.

kabrissette · June 2013

DebateThis:
Do what you can to arm yourself with as much information as possible and you'll probably feel a lot more calm. Take baby care classes and breastfeeding classes (if you want to BF), etc. Beyond that, don't even try to get into a routine for the first few weeks and just take each new challenge as it comes. Do what you need to do to survive, and as long as you have food and the baby has a clean butt and a full tummy, call it success.
(I say this as another FTM, but this is the overwhelming advice I'm getting from EVERYWHERE).

That is good advice... I will be going to several classes through my birth center - on childbirth, breastfeeding, and infant care. I do think that will help. I'm trying to wait to attend those until a little closer to my due date though so that hopefully the information will be fresh. I'm also reading the Happiest Baby on the Block since that was recommended to me. I do think information helps... I just have moments where reality slaps me in the face with the fact that life is going to be VERY different soon!

SamanthaPo · June 2013

As another FTM, I'm not looking at that board. I want to enjoy being pregnant and prepare myself as best as possible by having everything set up for the baby and making sure my SO and I are prepared. That is all we can is do prepare. When the baby gets here your body will adapt and your motherly instincts will kick in and when you need help the women on this board and others will provide advice. Take everything day by day and do your best to prepare for baby.

fiddlefern · June 2013

I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with DS and believe me the first week or so you will be a complete zombie, but your body does adjust. You get use to sleeping less. People will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps and that is the best advice that is out there. I would sleep rather than shower or anything else and that was the best decision I could have made.

aliwisewoman · June 2013

If you breastfeed, your body is actually wired to wake frequently and sleep lightly. Baby nursing quickly releases oxytocin which induces sleepiness and a sense of wellbeing. Yes, you will be sleep deprived for a little while but it doesn't last too long. I am also a person that needs a lot of sleep. These twins are number 3 and 4. We survived. H and I take turns sleeping in. Especially when we are being woken up every two hours through the night. Living through it is much different than hearing about it.

BSnipes35 · June 2013

Advice from a STM: the first week, you run off pure adrenaline. So you really don't notice being tired. Take a shower after baby wakes in the early morning, say 6am. After you feed LO, change their diaper, get them settled. Then jump in the shower. If you don't, you may not get one all day. But it'll make you feel so much better if you do. I didn't take the advice of sleeping when baby sleeps. I tried to nap after LO woke up after the shower wake up. In between, I would do laundry, straighten the house, that sort of thing. But when DS1 went down the next time, I would nap.

I'll get flamed for this, but I like schedules and DS1 thrived on a schedule. Not all babies are predictable, but if you take notes those first few days of when LO sleeps and eats, you'll notice a pattern. It made it easier for me to know how to plan my day, plan for visitors, schedule ped check ups, etc. DS1 was sleeping 7p7a at 8 weeks. I still got up to pump, but only once. Just remind yourself, it does get easier!

kabrissette · June 2013

Thanks for the support ladies. I definitely am glad I found this board!

I think my saving grace will be that I have the first 3 months off work... once I go back to work hopefully we'll be in some sort of routine. Before that, I should have no problem sleeping when the baby does.

Mytaras · June 2013

I am worried too. So many people say that the joy from the baby will overpower the no sleep. I hope that's actually the case!!

kabrissette · June 2013

I think one coping strategy I will use right away is to stop looking at the 0-3 board until I'm a lot closer to my due date

Rharold · June 2013

By the end of your pregnancy you will be getting very little sleep anyway from discomfort, peeing 30 times a night or heartburn, your body prepares you for less sleep. I also never woke my babies up 5 going on 6 during the night to eat, and I always napped during the day when they did.

jaymayhatton · June 2013

BSnipes35:
Advice from a STM: the first week, you run off pure adrenaline. So you really don't notice being tired. Take a shower after baby wakes in the early morning, say 6am. After you feed LO, change their diaper, get them settled. Then jump in the shower. If you don't, you may not get one all day. But it'll make you feel so much better if you do. I didn't take the advice of sleeping when baby sleeps. I tried to nap after LO woke up after the shower wake up. In between, I would do laundry, straighten the house, that sort of thing. But when DS1 went down the next time, I would nap. I'll get flamed for this, but I like schedules and DS1 thrived on a schedule. Not all babies are predictable, but if you take notes those first few days of when LO sleeps and eats, you'll notice a pattern. It made it easier for me to know how to plan my day, plan for visitors, schedule ped check ups, etc. DS1 was sleeping 7p7a at 8 weeks. I still got up to pump, but only once. Just remind yourself, it does get easier!

I'm definitely going to remember this. Thank you!

katmac17 · June 2013

So all of the supportive things people have said are totally true. I'm going to be a bit of a debbie downer and say that the first few months were really, really hard. I am not writing this to be completely negative, but I am writing it because I had a really, really hard baby who was a terrible sleeper, and while most other posters have said that it is fine, I want to be the voice that says that even if you find those early months really hard it really is just a few months, and here we are leaping into the fray again and excited for baby number two.

I am a champion napper, and just assumed that if babies sleep 16 or more hours per day, there was no way I couldn't squeeze in at least 8. But DS cried and cried and cried, and only wanted to sleep when I was wearing him in the sling, bouncing him on the yoga ball, or otherwise soothing him with motion. So sleeping when the baby slept wasn't really an option. Again, I think my experience was at the far end of the spectrum, and we still got by.

It is admittedly an expensive indulgence, but given how poor a sleeper DS was, we have been saving money to budget for some overnight help with this next one. We did it a few times around six weeks with my son, and we should have done it sooner. I still had to get up every 1.5 hours to pump or nurse, but at least on those nights there was someone else to do the diaper and then jiggle/rock/sooth him between feeds so I could get a little sleep.

3Dewdrops · June 2013

The first few weeks is by far my favorite part. Lack of sleep, bf issues, recovery from delivery notwithstanding. I remember wishing over and over I could just freeze time. I'm so looking forward to it! Not particularly looking forward to the discomfort of the last month or so of pregnancy. It gets old fast.

ETA: I read further and saw you are reading the Happiest Baby on the Block. I REALLY wish I had found that sooner with my second. She had colic and cried basically every waking moment from a week to seven months. (when she wasn't eating of course) I found the book when she was seven months and implemented the advice. It worked well even so late.

My 1st was a schedule baby and followed a regular routine and slept like an angel from early on. I liked the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for her. It was laughable to try and implement it with no. 2 though.

Luckily every baby is different so even if you read horror stories on the 0-3 it doesn't mean you'll have to go through the same thing...except the lack of sleep is kind of a given.

McJen715 · June 2013

I am a lover of sleep. I always said I wasn't a night or a morning person. I'm more of a go to bed early and sleep in, middle of the day gal. However, I was able to survive a newborn, and you will too I know it!

I somehow was able to function on little sleep, middle of the night wakings with nursing, and still maintain a good work ethic at my job. I don't look forward to the lack of sleep again but it becomes your new normal and you get used to it.

kabrissette · June 2013

Thanks so much everyone - both for the comfort and the honest reminders that this will not be easy. I have a feeling I will be posting here sometimes while I'm awake at 3am with baby!!

brienne00 · June 2013

fiddlefern:
I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with DS and believe me the first week or so you will be a complete zombie, but your body does adjust. You get use to sleeping less. People will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps and that is the best advice that is out there. I would sleep rather than shower or anything else and that was the best decision I could have made.

yep. This.

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