i feel like im the only one who gets depressed

4realyo · December 2008

i dont know how you ladies all do it when AF arrives. i seem to fall into a state of depression each cycle where i just want to crawl in bed for a few days and nothing seems to cheer me up. it usually goes away a couple days into AF, but seems to be the worst the couple days before she shows up. maybe its the hormones changing. i dont know, but i just feel awful. i see all you other girls hanging tough and i wish i could be like that. i dont drink alcohol, coffee or soda anyways - so its not like i have something i can go celebrate with. i feel this month is especially hard, its truly all i wanted for xmas and now i worry how i will handle the holiday (its hard enough due to extreme family problems). i hate feeling like this and i cant believe i've started my 7th month of trying.

2006july15bride · December 2008

Oh you are soooo not alone. I get VERY depressed, but I just try not to express it. I avoid the phone for a few days and I cry when I'm alone. DH is the only one who knows how I get bc he mentioned that he doesn't like TTC bc he hates seeing me get so sad every cycle, so now I try to not even cry in front of him. I'm on the 7th cycle too, so I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. PM or message me anytime you need to vent. ((HUGS))

egankn · December 2008

I'm sorry to hear you're in such a funk! My first few cycles I was okay when AF showed because I was assuming it would take a while. Then I had BFP with a m/c shortly after and I was super depressed but tried to focus on getting another BFP right away. When that cycle was a bust (last sunday) I was super depressed for 2-3 days and my DH was even bummed more than I was. Now, once again we're trying to focus on this cycle and what we can do differently.

I don't really had any advice for you but I understand what you're going through, and I hope lucky #7 is your BFP cycle!!

julisuz · December 2008

I get incredibly depressed the day AF shows. ?I don't drink either so I don't drown my sorrows in anything other than moping and watching tv. ?Usually by the 2nd or 3rd day into AF instead of sad I get very very angry and I just say "fine, I'm giving up" until after AF and I get all excited waiting for O. ?So it's a rollercoaster, which is partly hormones I'm sure but partly because of how much I want this. ?You are definitely not alone and it's perfectly normal to be depressed! ?Just don't let it stop you from doing what you want to do! ?GL!

bat stafuny · December 2008

::big sigh:: yes.

but i think we all feel alone in this to some extent. that's part of it. what's hitting me hard is the constant reminder by happy families and cheerful babes this time of year. bam! right to the gut. i'm sorry. good luck at feeling better.

rssnlvr · December 2008

I do it just like you do it. I am miserable for several days. Miserable and pessimistic and angry and sad. It sucks that you find out it didn't happen again right when all your hormones are raging. I don't drink a lot either, so I try to focus on getting to work out extra hard for another 2 weeks (I usually try and take it easy during the 2ww). That and I blog about it.

You're right--this one was especially hard b/c we were all building up in our heads how we would tell our families if we got our Christmas BFP. I planned my parents' present around it, so when AF showed again, I had to come up with new ideas, and for the next week I just kept thinking about how sad I was that I didn't get to do my cool reveal.

I think a lot of women try not to post about how much it affects them because those posts are often not treated kindly. There seems to be a "you can't feel sad until you've been trying X cycles" mentality. But the reality is, a BFN sucks no matter what cycle you're on. There is always a feeling of surprise that it didn't work, and sadness, and worry that something is wrong, and fear that it won't work, and anger, and depression.

I'm so sorry. No one goes into TTC thinking it will take them a long time. We were taught that just looking at a penis would get us pregnant. And I'm sure you, like me, are surrounded by fertile myrtles who are getting pg on the first try. It is perfectly understandable why you are having a hard time. Just remember that you aren't alone. I'll be on #7 if this one doesn't work. And I'm starting to feel like it probably won't.

sarahbethrn · December 2008

I agree with the pp that a lot of people don't express how depressing it is to get a BFN out of not wanting to be told they haven't been trying long enough to feel that way, but girl, you are not alone. AF came for me yesterday morning and last night DH baked me a freakin cake. I didn't think I was acting depressed, but apparently I must have been because in all the time we've been together I've never seen him bake. I have to say it up'd my spirits.

ozgirl96 · December 2008

I could have said everything you wrote - well, except I can't believe I'm starting my 8th cycle. My DH has to talk me through each month when AF starts. I'm a basket case - crying, etc. I know the stats and the average time, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Plus, all of my cousins got pregnant in the first month of trying. I usually try something new each cycle as a way to make myself feel better. Unfortunately, I'm running out of random things to try. This cycle I am trying the CBEFM. Sigh.

smilelari · December 2008

rssnlvr:

I think a lot of women try not to post about how much it affects them because those posts are often not treated kindly. There seems to be a "you can't feel sad until you've been trying X cycles" mentality. But the reality is, a BFN sucks no matter what cycle you're on. There is always a feeling of surprise that it didn't work, and sadness, and worry that something is wrong, and fear that it won't work, and anger, and depression.

I'm so sorry. No one goes into TTC thinking it will take them a long time. We were taught that just looking at a penis would get us pregnant. And I'm sure you, like me, are surrounded by fertile myrtles who are getting pg on the first try. It is perfectly understandable why you are having a hard time. Just remember that you aren't alone. I'll be on #7 if this one doesn't work. And I'm starting to feel like it probably won't.

It isn't that you aren't allowed to be sad until you've been trying for X number of cycles. Of course a BFN is disappointing every cycle. The thing is that those of us that are now finding ourselves in the IF category remember cycle #6 and 7. We remember how hard it was to get past the 6 month mark. We all figured it might take a few tries, but more than 6 months??? No way. We all remember getting to the 1 year mark and really getting serious, seeing an RE, etc. We remember the day we got our dx (if we have one). And now we know. Hitting cycle #7 was no big deal compared to what we have faced since. Being an IVF flunky? now that's devestating.

You have every right to feel sad, but keep some perspective. You are still well within the window of the normal amount of time it takes to get PG and in all likelyhood you will all be posting BFPs in the near future.

crazylove410 · December 2008

Dont get down it will come on due time

crazylove410 · December 2008

Dont get down it will happen my fiance and I are trying to conceive Im anxious and nervous I had a miscarriage and a ectopic several years ago and held off on trying now Im engaged and we are trying and praying that thigs will happen in due time Good Luck Lots and Lots of baby dust your way

gidge · December 2008

smilelari:
It isn't that you aren't allowed to be sad until you've been trying for X number of cycles. Of course a BFN is disappointing every cycle. The thing is that those of us that are now finding ourselves in the IF category remember cycle #6 and 7. We remember how hard it was to get past the 6 month mark. We all figured it might take a few tries, but more than 6 months??? No way. We all remember getting to the 1 year mark and really getting serious, seeing an RE, etc. We remember the day we got our dx (if we have one). And now we know. Hitting cycle #7 was no big deal compared to what we have faced since. Being an IVF flunky? now that's devestating.

You have every right to feel sad, but keep some perspective. You are still well within the window of the normal amount of time it takes to get PG and in all likelyhood you will all be posting BFPs in the near future.

Very well said! I remember being upset around cycles 3 and 4 and then 6, etc. But know I find myself wondering what I was so upset about and why I let it get to me so quickly. I am also very aware that next year I could be saying the same thing about cycle 13 (I really, really hope not!).

epona3 · December 2008

That's pretty much exactly how I feel (we're starting cycle 8), This weekend was a little hard b/c two of my best friends and pg and I'm happy for them, but it's still just. . . hard. Especially since AF just started, and Christmas is coming. .. . Definitely feel your pain.

scullyhoyy · December 2008

What your feeling is totally normal. It sucks! When AF arrives I have a glass or two or more of wine. Then I try to get my game face on for the next cycle.

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