(Untitled)

Natskie · June 2013

WheeLinTheSky3 · June 2013

Silv3rlining:
Personally I'd decline. I am not much for "pass the baby" parties, and it seems like that is what it could turn into. Plus depending on how you deliver and what your recovery is like you may not feel physically up to it. (Let alone mentally)

This. What if you go late? What if you have a C-section? What if youre just exhausted from having a newborn and cant handle it at that point? I would either decline altogether or say "thank you so much for the offer but that date is not going to work for me. If the shower is going to be after my due date I would prefer that the earliest date be XYZ." A shower offer is a gift and not an obligation. If you are not comfortable, decline or ask to change the date.

blondii428 · June 2013

Silv3rlining:
Personally I'd decline. I am not much for "pass the baby" parties, and it seems like that is what it could turn into. Plus depending on how you deliver and what your recovery is like you may not feel physically up to it. (Let alone mentally)

Yep, I'll have to agree with this as well

Murphie82 · June 2013

Silv3rlining:
Personally I'd decline. I am not much for "pass the baby" parties, and it seems like that is what it could turn into. Plus depending on how you deliver and what your recovery is like you may not feel physically up to it. (Let alone mentally)

This...is there any way they can schedule it for a few months later?

Mom38673 · June 2013

I would decline as well. I had my daughter two weeks before Thanksgiving. I was hesitant to take her to my FIL for dinner..... Everyone said they were "healthy". Well, she ended up with RSV! Pissed was not the word to explain how furious and stressed I was! They can wait a bit longer to give you time to recover, and the baby time to acclimate to the surroundings.

Aurora317 · June 2013

Mom38673:
I would decline as well. I had my daughter two weeks before Thanksgiving. I was hesitant to take her to my FIL for dinner..... Everyone said they were "healthy". Well, she ended up with RSV! Pissed was not the word to explain how furious and stressed I was! They can wait a bit longer to give you time to recover, and the baby time to acclimate to the surroundings.

I would decline, for this reason exactly. I'm not a germaphobe, but an infant's immune system isn't fully developed, and what could be a sniffle for an adult can mean hospital time for a baby. If they want the party to be after baby comes, I would wait at LEAST a month, if not two. You're still recovering for 6 weeks, more if you end up having a c/s, and people who aren't going through pregnancy forget these things. They just think "BABY!" and want to cuddle/show them off, without thinking about the practicalities.

JBear02 · June 2013

Silv3rlining:
Personally I'd decline. I am not much for "pass the baby" parties, and it seems like that is what it could turn into. Plus depending on how you deliver and what your recovery is like you may not feel physically up to it. (Let alone mentally)

Yup, same here! I'd worry about germs. People can be so gross sometimes!

MrsBlindLove · June 2013

I would ask to push it back as well. My baby shower will be after the baby is born but there is no way I would do two weeks after giving birth.

Natskie · June 2013

I forgot to mention the in laws are traveling from very far and can't change the date.

awright1983 · June 2013

Natskie:
I forgot to mention the in laws are traveling from very far and can't change the date.

If the date can't be changed I would thank them very much for the offer but say that it is just too soon after the baby arrives to be exposing them to that many people. You will still very much be adjusting to caring for a baby and just won't be up for it.

Disneygeek77 · June 2013

No, I wouldn't risk my health and the health of my baby for a shower. I would thank them for their kind offer, but it simply wouldn't work.

PrimRoseMama · June 2013

I would decline the shower if it makes you uncomfortable. If you feel like you would be biitchy about the experience when someone is just trying to do something nice for you then decline it. Being an ungracious guest is rude and you can save everyone the headache.

No one can have a party without the guest of honor. So, if you are going to behave like this then decline so that the in laws can get a refund on their tickets.

Me personally? I would wear baby if I was going to attend and explain to those that wanted to hold him that he hasn't had his shots yet. So, because you don't want baby to get sick then you'd rather not pass him around.

kathleen02 · June 2013

Aurora317:
Mom38673:
I would decline as well. I had my daughter two weeks before Thanksgiving. I was hesitant to take her to my FIL for dinner..... Everyone said they were "healthy". Well, she ended up with RSV! Pissed was not the word to explain how furious and stressed I was! They can wait a bit longer to give you time to recover, and the baby time to acclimate to the surroundings.
I would decline, for this reason exactly. I'm not a germaphobe, but an infant's immune system isn't fully developed, and what could be a sniffle for an adult can mean hospital time for a baby. If they want the party to be after baby comes, I would wait at LEAST a month, if not two. You're still recovering for 6 weeks, more if you end up having a c/s, and people who aren't going through pregnancy forget these things. They just think "BABY!" and want to cuddle/show them off, without thinking about the practicalities.

My friend who comes from a very traditional Chinese family was specifically told that they were not to attend any family functions or leave the house (bad luck) after their DS was born mid December. She respected their wishes and didn't participate in any of the holiday celebrations. There is a little something to that though. It's to protect the baby and it does sound like it's more of an excuse to pass the baby around as opposed to celebrating your pregnancy and upcoming birth.

Natskie · June 2013

I'm in no way ungrateful, I am extremely lucky to have such amazing in laws and I know that. I meant I would be bitchy from lack of sleep most probably, and I might come across as bitchy if i were not to let anyone hold my son. But your idea about carrying him on me is brilliant! I may do that, and explain that I don't want him to get sick.

queenbone · June 2013

My family baby shower was scheduled for 38wks, but had to be postponed due to my father's funeral. It was rescheduled for 3wks after DS1 was born (at 41wks.) I thought it was great, considering the circumstances, and people were able to hold the baby while opened gifts and ate. I am really laid back about people holding my newborns though. Everyone washes their hands first w/o even needing to be asked in my experience.

In your case though, the problem is you don't know when baby is coming. If baby goes late and you end up needing a c/s you probably wouldn't be up to going 1 wk PP. Your IL's need to be perfectly aware that if they want to proceed with this shower, you can't guarantee you'll make it.

tealeavesandpeonies · June 2013

PrimRoseMama:

No one can have a party without the guest of honor. So, if you are going to behave like this then decline so that the in laws can get a refund on their tickets.

I wish this were the case. Our ILs threw a baby shower "for us" even though we could not attend. They played games and opened the gifts. It was just weird and inappropriate.

PrimRoseMama · June 2013

tealeavesandpeonies:
PrimRoseMama:

No one can have a party without the guest of honor. So, if you are going to behave like this then decline so that the in laws can get a refund on their tickets. 
 
 
I wish this were the case.  Our ILs threw a baby shower "for us" even though we could not attend.  They played games and opened the gifts.  It was just weird and inappropriate.   

Hurrr???!!!

logoz80 · June 2013

This makes no sense. Say no

kimfield · June 2013

Couldn't you leave the baby with your husband and attend on you own and say while you would have loved to have brought the baby it is too soon and he/she hasn't had vaccinations yet?

megemoney · June 2013

This is not a Baby Shower... it's more of a Meet The Baby party. I would not accept.

curlysue22 · June 2013

For how long has this shower been planned? Did they ok it with you before planning it?

Natskie · June 2013

They had the date of when they are coming down after the baby a long time ago? but it was pretty much just planned a few months ago that they will throw the shower when they come down, because last time they came down there was a funeral and they couldn't throw it then.

plunderb · June 2013

As someone who was still in the hospital 2 weeks after my due date, I'd give this a big, fat no.

Then again, if this shower is happening no matter what, maybe the hospital is the best place for you to be then!

tealeavesandpeonies · June 2013

PrimRoseMama:
tealeavesandpeonies:
PrimRoseMama:

No one can have a party without the guest of honor. So, if you are going to behave like this then decline so that the in laws can get a refund on their tickets.

I wish this were the case. Our ILs threw a baby shower "for us" even though we could not attend. They played games and opened the gifts. It was just weird and inappropriate.
Hurrr???!!!

Yup. Best part? MIL threw a BSC temper tantrum because they posted pictures of this shindig on Facebook and DH and I didn't *like* any of them.

Runaway22 · June 2013

tealeavesandpeonies:
PrimRoseMama:
tealeavesandpeonies:
PrimRoseMama:

No one can have a party without the guest of honor. So, if you are going to behave like this then decline so that the in laws can get a refund on their tickets.

I wish this were the case. Our ILs threw a baby shower "for us" even though we could not attend. They played games and opened the gifts. It was just weird and inappropriate.
Hurrr???!!!

Yup. Best part? MIL threw a BSC temper tantrum because they posted pictures of this shindig on Facebook and DH and I didn't *like* any of them.

A37licia · June 2013

I'd be pushing back a lot on that. Has your MIL ever had a baby to remember what that time can be like, being newly post partum???

rissa06 · June 2013

I would decline. Too many people germs and stuff. What if u have a c-section?

BelhurstBride · June 2013

Especially because of BFing I'm not too freaked out about germs, but because of nursing I was definitely not in the mood to be around random people 1-2 weeks PP. I just needed/wanted time alone at home, with DD and DH, to figure it all out.

We did have a Meet the Baby type BBQ just to get all of the visiting out of the way at once. DD was probably 2-3 weeks old, but the party was scheduled on our terms.

beachbum0084 · June 2013

This happened to me sort of. My DS was at both of his baby showers bc he decided to come 3 weeks early. He was 1 week old at each shower. Everyone was great about it. There wasn't a whole lot of passing him around most people just wanted to see him and everyone washed their hands without me even asking. I had a vaginal delivery so I felt fine by then other than the crazy hormonal hot flashes. It just honestly depends on you. I'm pretty easy going so it didn't bother me at all. If you feel uneasy dont do it.

Want a personalized experience?

(Untitled)

Re: (Untitled)

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards