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(Untitled)

OKittyOKitty member
in Adoption
Trying to Add Baby #1 Since 12/2008
Dx: Unexplained Infertility
Spring 2010: 3 Clomid + TI
Jan 2011: 2 Femara IUI's
Summer 2011: 6 months of Chiropractic Therapy
March 2012: Confirmed Agency, Meeting set
July 2012: Homeopath consult (fail!)
July 2012: Start of Agency Meetings/Paperwork
October 2012: Agency Interview
February 2013: Tenative Agency Training
March 2013: Tenative Homestudy start date
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Re: (Untitled)

  • fledgegrl1fledgegrl1
    That letter was one of the hardest things I've ever written... it took a few drafts. Sleeping on it is probably a good idea. :)  Also, consider having a trusted and honest friend read it and give you feedback. I found that it was hard for me to see it "objectively" because in my mind, it wasn't just telling about ourselves, it was all that the letter represented to us... our hopes, our fears... all wrapped up in this unknown of what ifs. I know it is (MUCH) easier said that done, but just try to be yourselves. I'm betting yours is better than you think!
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  • arbutusbridearbutusbride member

    imagefledgegrl1:
    That letter was one of the hardest things I've ever written... it took a few drafts. Sleeping on it is probably a good idea. :)  Also, consider having a trusted and honest friend read it and give you feedback. I found that it was hard for me to see it "objectively" because in my mind, it wasn't just telling about ourselves, it was all that the letter represented to us... our hopes, our fears... all wrapped up in this unknown of what ifs. I know it is (MUCH) easier said that done, but just try to be yourselves. I'm betting yours is better than you think!

     My thoughts exactly!  It was hard because you want to sell yourself but not sound desperate and needy. It took me several drafts. Basically I wrote down everything that came to mind (whether it was good or bad) and then started the editing process from there. It took me about a week and just as many drafts to get the final version. I had several copies of profile books from our agency to help guide me. (Can you borrow some books to get you inspired?) I copied some things I liked and then changed them to sound like my voice.   

    Pursing Domestic Infant Adoption through a local agency. In the meantime, our dog is our baby.  Bumping from Portland, Oregon. 
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  • MagickalNarwhalMagickalNarwhal member

    SERIOUSLY so hard!!! Sleep on it, try a couple different drafts. It helped if I could imagine writing to an ACTUAL someone instead of a mythical someone so I tried imagining I was writing to an old freid who I haven't seen in a while, to my mom's friend from work, to my MIL and (don't laugh) to my dog. It helped the voice be more natural and it helped my personality to come out a little bit.

    I wrote and rewrote and wrote and rewrote, but then I stepped away from it all for a week and started fresh without reading my previous attempts. In a lot of cases I was able to say what I had been trying to say in earlier drafts much more succinctly. There were a few areas that I liked the language from previous drafts though so I used that.

    Good luck. Seriously, it's so, so hard.

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  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    I'm a lit professor--- I practically have to write for a living. That letter SUCKED the life out of me. One of the hardest things I've ever written---and it just feels like such a smarmy genre in so many ways. Just be yourselves, and it'll get done eventually. If you have an agency you are working with, look at samples etc.
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  • CasaRosadaCasaRosada member
    After finishing our application and attending two days of training, this is our next step. We took an online course on writing this and even though we haven't started - I'm already stressed out. Good luck writing yours! Do you have anyone you can have read it to give you feedback?
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  • erinmc1erinmc1 member

    I hate those things.  I spent WEEKS poring over our letter, making sure it was perfect contextually and visually, and then I read the rest of the couple's letters, and realized they are all...the...same.  So we took our perfect letter, and submitted it to the agency, hating everything about the process.  And we got rejected.  8 times.  So I rewrote it, acknowledging to any mom reading it that I really felt for her, having to make a plan for her child's future based on these missives.  And we had another couple rejections.

    And then we switched to an agency that just had you write essays.  About your childhood, your family life now, your aspirations for your child, hobbies and interests, and what brought you to adoption.  Nothing about trying to pretend you relate to the expectant mom.  Nothing about how much you admire her decision. 

    We matched two days later with a family that fit us to a T. 

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