"Oh you looked like crap"

LeannFran · June 2013

Yes this was exactly what my dearest MIL said to me once we shared the good news with her. What she actually said was "Oh you looked like crap when you two got back from your vacation! I just kept looking at you from across the room and thought maybe she's just tired and doesn't have make-up on." Needless to say I was irate once we finally left because who the heck tells a pregnant woman ((never less the woman carrying your grandchild!)) that she looks bad. Anyone else have totally irritating stories that they'd like to share? I cannot possibly be the only one with ((lack of a better word)) stupid comments flowing her way...

On a more positive note, we were able to hear the heartbeat, a strong 180!! We're now 9 weeks and our new due date is Jan. 11th ish

forevergraceful · June 2013

Yay for a strong heartbeat! I am sorry your MIL said that to you.

MiaMyPuggle · June 2013

DH said I'm an empty pit bc I think about food all day. I usually think myself out of eating things, if that makes sense. The food we have in the house doesn't suffice. I gag thinking about it.

Salleybelle · June 2013

Maybe she didn't mean it as bad as it sounded? I'm sorry!

kilbs · June 2013

That's a terrible thing for her to say. It's hard to look pretty when you feel like crap.

When we told my MIL, she just said "you, too?". Yeah, b/c my drama queen of a SIL is due in August, no one else is allowed to be pregnant right now. Whatever. We can't plan when these things will happen.

Deblondie1 · June 2013

Yay for heartbeat. What a jerky thing to say!

bethughknee · June 2013

Wow what a heartbeat! Congrats!

That's a terrible thing to say! Some people need a built in censor. UGH!

Dishylo · June 2013

Ugh, how annoying! My Mom said something annoying to me this morning...she came into my office and said "are you sucking your stomach in? Because you know what happened to your sister when she let it all hang out". So I tried to tell her without getting too irate that yes I am trying to suck it in but it's not that comfortable and that when I wanted her advice, I would ask for it. Gah!

sugarland726 · June 2013

My new pregnancy policy is to reply in kind with mean comments. So if someone tells me I look fat or ugly, I will say the same to them. And if they touch my belly, I will do the same to them. Pregnancy does not make our bodies public property.

LeannFran · June 2013

Sugarland I like your advice! Maybe I should try that for th next to around since I know she has no filter!

peanutmuse · June 2013

sugarland726:
My new pregnancy policy is to reply in kind with mean comments. So if someone tells me I look fat or ugly, I will say the same to them. And if they touch my belly, I will do the same to them. Pregnancy does not make our bodies public property.

Yup.

I'm also blunt like that on a regular basis, so it's no change for me.

Dishylo · June 2013

sugarland726:
My new pregnancy policy is to reply in kind with mean comments. So if someone tells me I look fat or ugly, I will say the same to them. And if they touch my belly, I will do the same to them. Pregnancy does not make our bodies public property.

I like this! As a FTM I haven't experienced the random people touching me yet but I should imagine that would feel very annoying/invasive etc. Definitely going to start using the "respond in kind" method!!

vstevens · June 2013

Dishylo:

sugarland726:
My new pregnancy policy is to reply in kind with mean comments. So if someone tells me I look fat or ugly, I will say the same to them. And if they touch my belly, I will do the same to them. Pregnancy does not make our bodies public property.

I like this! As a FTM I haven't experienced the random people touching me yet but I should imagine that would feel very annoying/invasive etc. Definitely going to start using the "respond in kind" method!!

The other way to deal with MILs is MH's approach. His mother has a severe case of "I can say anything I want to my pregnant DIL"-itis. For this pregnancy, when I was 6 weeks, she told me I was already looking "big"...MH looked at her and said "Did you just call my wife fat?" She kind of backtracked, and then later apologized to me.

(Clearly, he was still upset after our first pregnancy, during which she loved to call me "huge" and "enormous" constantly... I only gained 25 lbs!!).

OSUWifey09 · June 2013

I've gotten a lot of "Man, you look tired!" comments from people who don't know I'm pregnant. I just tell them that they would be tired, too, if they were raising an active 4-year-old on their own.

Once I'm out, though...my filter will not be in place anymore. This is my third rodeo, and some people said some unbelievable things after we lost our last baby. I lost my filter after that.

rowanthefrog · June 2013

Try to take it in stride. She should ahve kept her mouth shut for sure, but once you are pregnant people feel that they can say ANYTHING to you.

Actually, I was the offender on this one once. Long before I ever got pregnant, my SIL told me that as soon as she got pg her butt got really big. So I somehow took that as a good thing?

When my older sister told us she was pregnant (at 7 weeks) I said, "Oh, I thought your butt was getting bigger." (It wasn't, I just thought somehow that was an appropriate thing to say.) Later, after I got pregnant and realized what an asshat thing that was to say, I apologized to her and she told me she cried that night because of what I said. Me=Dumbass.

Point being...people are dumb, they think its ok to say certain things when it isn't. Try not to let it bother you. Use it as an excuse to go take a nap

A

Dishylo · June 2013

vstevens:
Dishylo:

sugarland726:
My new pregnancy policy is to reply in kind with mean comments. So if someone tells me I look fat or ugly, I will say the same to them. And if they touch my belly, I will do the same to them. Pregnancy does not make our bodies public property.

I like this! As a FTM I haven't experienced the random people touching me yet but I should imagine that would feel very annoying/invasive etc. Definitely going to start using the "respond in kind" method!!

The other way to deal with MILs is MH's approach. His mother has a severe case of "I can say anything I want to my pregnant DIL"-itis. For this pregnancy, when I was 6 weeks, she told me I was already looking "big"...MH looked at her and said "Did you just call my wife fat?" She kind of backtracked, and then later apologized to me.

(Clearly, he was still upset after our first pregnancy, during which she loved to call me "huge" and "enormous" constantly... I only gained 25 lbs!!).

Ouch!!! At least you have a DH who is supportive! Good on him for standing up for you!!

2Dash · June 2013

When I was 8 months pregnant with DS my IL's (MILBIL) joked that I looked like Jabba the Hut - yeah....... I also gained about 25 pounts - almost 8 of which was just water - and I had a 9 pound baby.

I'm 5 foot 3 and they had to enduce me because I carried to much water - but yeah thanks because I was already feeling uncomfortable. I cried for about 2 hours when we left.

Peepp79 · June 2013

My SIL's mother asked me if I always break out. She said I was going to have a girl bc they steal their beauty from you..whatever, lady. I couldn't even get mad bc I find it hard to get upset over someone that's stupid. Maybe I didn't take it personally also bc normally I don't break out.

sugarland726 · June 2013

rowanthefrog:

When my older sister told us she was pregnant (at 7 weeks) I said, "Oh, I thought your butt was getting bigger." (It wasn't, I just thought somehow that was an appropriate thing to say.) Later, after I got pregnant and realized what an asshat thing that was to say, I apologized to her and she told me she cried that night because of what I said. Me=Dumbass.

Point being...people are dumb, they think its ok to say certain things when it isn't. Try not to let it bother you. Use it as an excuse to go take a nap

I think your story is a perfect example of why we shouldn't keep our mouths shut. People's feelings get hurt when others make what they think are harmless comments. If you had known before that saying her butt was going to get big would have hurt her feelings I am sure you wouldn't have said it at all. Obviously, since you called years later to apologize. I kind of feel it is important to school people on why they should or shouldn't say things. To help stand up for those that will just swallow their hurt feelings and cry rather than say something.

Mommasay0 · June 2013

sugarland726:
My new pregnancy policy is to reply in kind with mean comments. So if someone tells me I look fat or ugly, I will say the same to them. And if they touch my belly, I will do the same to them. Pregnancy does not make our bodies public property.

love this!

what a horrible thing for your MIL to say.I can't think of any bad comments off the top of my head right now, but I know there have been several, and will be many more!

KristaBelieve · June 2013

Peepp79:
My SIL's mother asked me if I always break out. She said I was going to have a girl bc they steal their beauty from you..whatever, lady. I couldn't even get mad bc I find it hard to get upset over someone that's stupid. Maybe I didn't take it personally also bc normally I don't break out.

oh my gosh!! I literally laughed out loud at what an idiot she must be... Girls steal your beauty... Wow, what a piece of work.

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