U/S with step children

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

The post below made me think to ask you ladies what you thought about step children being present for an u/s. all of my medically necessary u/s have passed so this one would be elective. I hadn't planned on getting one but BM asked me to consider getting one so SS could see her before she arrives. He is going back to BM mid July and I am due in September. He won't get to meet her until Christmas visitation. Thoughts?

cole2144 · June 2013

I don`t take DS or SD with me to my ultrasounds. It may be weird but I want those moments for just DH and myself.

katecham · June 2013

I don't post here much, but I lurk a lot.

DH and I had an elective u/s at 31 weeks so SD could see DS. BM had a baby 11 months before DS was born and it didn't go well with SD at all. She went from being an only child and only grandchild on one side to having to share the spotlight at 7 years old. BM and StepDad were very much wrapped up in their baby boy and SD felt very left out. She rebelled (not wearing underwear, refusing to do things, throwing huge fits, etc.). When I got pregnant we knew it would be a challenge to make sure she didn't go thru the same feelings as with her other brother, so we did the 3D ultrasound with her. We had her do a lot with the baby, like decorate his room, help put the crib together, etc. I also made sure that SD and DH had special time (date nights, go to the movies, etc.) so she knew he wasn't abandoning her. It helped a ton. She hasn't exhibited those bad behaviors at our house with DS, and he's almost 2.

So, yes, you should do the elective u/s. Even though your SS is a boy, u/s don't show anything inappropriate and I think that he would really like it (even if he doesn't show it ).

AmeliaKris · June 2013

My sk are older....11 and 13. I gave them the option of going to the appt or watching the Dvd of the scan with us at home later. They both chose to go to the scan. It went really well and I think they feel more connected to baby now....they started saying goodnight to baby, etc...

MommyEllenSue · June 2013

We will be having our 20 week u/s in late July or early August. SD6 and SS6 did not go to the 11 week but we will be taking them to the 20 week gender scan. We want them to be as much apart of this baby as possible. They both already know that they are going to get to see pictures of the baby in my tummy. SD6 is over the moon about her little brother/sister. SS is more nervous about change but he is getting better the more we pump him up about his baby.

Ilumine · June 2013

Even in an elective (3D or 4D place) U/S situation, there could be medical problems.

I do not want to be a bearer of bad news/stories, so I wont. I will just say that a medical procedure/appointment is not the place for a child.

Instead, I suggest getting a video tape of the U/S and have a special showing.

hopanka · June 2013

I would definitely bring him, especially since he doesn't get to be with you guys often and will miss the first few months of baby's life. I think this will make him feel special and very much a part of the process.

Amanda88 · June 2013

I took SS with me to an elective u/s, and I had issues during the first portion of my pregnancy. I think if your pregnancy has been going smoothly and there haven't been an issues he would enjoy seeing his sister before she arrives. I'd take him if I were you. He will be able to tell his baby sister how he got to see her before she got here, and it will create a good memory.

stephcarter · June 2013

cole2144:
I dont take DS or SD with me to my ultrasounds. It may be weird but I want those moments for just DH and myself.

We took SD to the 3D ultrasound with us, but I didn't want to for this same reason. Its a little, ok maybe a lot, selfish, but I'm being honest. DH gave me the "you have to include her in this" talk and I just gave in. SD has to be the center of attention at all times and is super hyper. After 5 minutes she was bored and dancing around the room "look at me look at me!" It kind of ruined the moment.

cole2144 · June 2013

stephcarter:
cole2144:
I dont take DS or SD with me to my ultrasounds. It may be weird but I want those moments for just DH and myself.
We took SD to the 3D ultrasound with us, but I didn't want to for this same reason. Its a little, ok maybe a lot, selfish, but I'm being honest. DH gave me the "you have to include her in this" talk and I just gave in. SD has to be the center of attention at all times and is super hyper. After 5 minutes she was bored and dancing around the room "look at me look at me!" It kind of ruined the moment.

Neither SD or DS have been to the ultrasound but SD is always talking to my belly, hugging and kissing it so obviously she still feels involved, DS is 2 so he does not really get it. I don`t think it is wrong to keep some things just for the two of you

2chatter · June 2013

We watched the DVDs. Four kids in an us seemed insane. And I always worry that something could be seen that would not be something we want to worry the kids with - my 9 year old especially would worry about totally mundane medical things like "measuring small" comments from the OB.

CFjo2010 · June 2013

All the kids came for the gender reveal u/s. We specifically scheduled it for when K was with us. All 3 kids were so excited, and I'm really glad we included them in it.

Littlejen22 · June 2013

If BM is pushing for it I assume the really feels it would help him so I would consider it. My DS was 2 when DD was born and came to all of my u/s because I had no one to watch him b

Ilumine · June 2013

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
At this point we don't have any other u/s scheduled and it would have to be one that DH and I decide to pay for out of pocket. I'll look into it, but the fact that we did have earlier issues does make me second guess taking him to one outside of our doctors office.

Hey, if you really want to do this, (though I highly suggest not doing it) you can try contacting the North Virginia Community College Ultra Sound Technician School.

I know that the Pensacola Tech School has discounted prices so their students can practice on people.

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