Vent: Insensitive guys at my work

valeivegas · June 2013

I work with 3 guys & one other PT lady. Now I don't expect the guys to obviously be asking me questions or be super interested in my pregnancy or the baby (only 1 has a kid & he's in his early 20s & a bit immature), but they have seriously been so insensitive lately. I'm 9 mos pg - my direct manager just asked me this morning if I was having a boy or girl. Of course I obviously told him way back when I found out (in one ear, out the other). Then at a mtg just now about the summer projects another guy says 'well, I'd rather be at work than at home with a newborn baby!' geez!! I gave him a dirty look & told him it wasn't nice & he did apologize, he felt bad, but seriously? come on! Also, I'm not expecting anything, but one of the guys got married last summer - the upper manager took everyone out to lunch to celebrate, we all pitched in for a gift card - do you think they'd do anything for me? Even just bring in bagels or something small like that, a card? nope.. Sorry - just needed to get this off my chest - people can be so insensitive. I can't wait for next week (my last week working) & I can get out of here for 3 months & not look at them...

capratt157 · June 2013

ohhh i can totally relate to this, i work with all men, i am an office manager at a tree care company and they are so insentive. we have to walk down steep steps and across the street to get mail and i always ask them to grab in on the way in and they call me lazy!! im like hello im 9 months pregnant!! other offices in our company give their office managers gift for our appreication day i have never recieved anything except for an oh hey happy appreciation day...they are so insensative and such you know whats!!! I forget things lately little things but they blow up on me and its like hello give me a freaking break and of course these are the type of people that are always doing something wrong at work... ehhh i feel like i just vented tooo! But yes i agree with what you are saying and i totally hope they get you a little something...i will probably get nothing...i got married almost 2 years ago and got nothing and they actually went to my wedding!!!!

KdgTeacher · June 2013

You're irritated because someone forgot if you were having a boy or a girl? Oh the horror.

As for the comment, well then I know a lot of insensitive/rude people as some women I work with even say sometimes coming to work is easier than staying home.

And I love your "I'm not expecting anything....BUT."

valeivegas · June 2013

KdgTeacher:
And I love your "I'm not expecting anything....BUT."

Embarrassed Ok you got me on that one.. I have other coworkers that they took out to lunch when they had their 2nd or 3rd kids. I'm under a different manager now so things are different w/ him... that's why...

Not remembering the baby's gender didn't really irritate me as much as their general overall insensitivity. It's just literally like they do not realize I am having a baby in T-2 weeks!!!

valeivegas · June 2013

Idani:
It sounds like you are just ready to be done with pregnancy and get some time off.

And yes, this is EXACTLY how I feel.. I just want to be out of here & not look at anyone here anymore...

thanks for letting me vent

valeivegas · June 2013

Idani:
valeivegas:
KdgTeacher:

And I love your "I'm not expecting anything....BUT."

Ok you got me on that one.. I have other coworkers that they took out to lunch when they had their 2nd or 3rd kids. I'm under a different manager now so things are different w/ him... that's why...

Not remembering the baby's gender didn't really irritate me as much as their general overall insensitivity. It's just literally like they do not realize I am having a baby in T-2 weeks!!!

Again though, remember it's male co-workers. Honestly I swear my husband never realized how soon I was delivering, and it didn't sink in until were at the hospital.

I know, I know... thanks for bringing me back to reality

Mom38673 · June 2013

I work as an accountant in a commercial construction office. I can totally relate. If anyone gets a card, cake, or anything it's because I get it and have the owner sign the card. It's really a man thing. I have one that comes through the office every other day, and says "Man, you're getting fat!". I just flip him off, and let him know that his gut is still bigger than mine... Big Smile This is the one upside to working in this environment. I can give back whatever they dish out!

Take a deep breath. You'll enjoy your break!

Sunny1inTucson · June 2013

honestly I think you are being sensitive - I mean that in the kindest way.

they are guys. I don't mean to give them an excuse, but in most cases it really is different. I wouldn't expect them to remember what sex your baby it. And sadly, it often doesn't occur to them to have a shower or even celebrate.

I asked DH recently about whether they EVER do anything for their female coworkers who are pregnant (it's engineering so mostly guys) and he was like..hummm....no......

even at my work, it's the women who organize these kinds of things and only then do the guys pitch in with money for a gift or show up to a shower.

even now all my female coworkers have been texting me for labor updates. the guys don't care - I've gotten one text about work stuff lol.

laurakaz13 · June 2013

They sound like.....guys. Relax. They will NEVER care like women might.

magdalina.h · June 2013

I missed the insensitive part. Well except for not doing something as a group to celebrate.

CoreW12 · June 2013

Mom38673:
I work as an accountant in a commercial construction office. I can totally relate. If anyone gets a card, cake, or anything it's because I get it and have the owner sign the card. It's really a man thing. I have one that comes through the office every other day, and says "Man, you're getting fat!". I just flip him off, and let him know that his gut is still bigger than mine... This is the one upside to working in this environment. I can give back whatever they dish out!
Take a deep breath. You'll enjoy your break!

Same here!

One guy at my work commented on how I have the "waddle" down and then proceded to quack at me! I just laughed at him because I know hes just joking. I also had a male coworker tell me yesterday "any day now right?!" I laughed and thought to myself...i still have a month and a half. I just laugh it off and forget what they say.

Just remember, you get to have some time away from the office and they don't Stick out tongue

outnumbered · June 2013

Dccornel:
KdgTeacher:
You're irritated because someone forgot if you were having a boy or a girl? Oh the horror.
As for the comment, well then I know a lot of insensitive/rude people as some women I work with even say sometimes coming to work is easier than staying home.
And I love your "I'm not expecting anything....BUT."

Ummm, this. But I didn't find the comment rude ... I would have laughed at something like that ... Lighten up and consider moving positions/mangers when you get back because it seems as if you have a little animosity towards your co-workers.

I thought the comment was funny too. There are a lot of things I would rather do than have another newborn.

Sounds like the OP is oversensitive and really just pissed because they did not get her any bagels.

valeivegas · June 2013

outnumbered:
Dccornel:
KdgTeacher:
You're irritated because someone forgot if you were having a boy or a girl? Oh the horror.
As for the comment, well then I know a lot of insensitive/rude people as some women I work with even say sometimes coming to work is easier than staying home.
And I love your "I'm not expecting anything....BUT."

Ummm, this. But I didn't find the comment rude ... I would have laughed at something like that ... Lighten up and consider moving positions/mangers when you get back because it seems as if you have a little animosity towards your co-workers.
I thought the comment was funny too. There are a lot of things I would rather do than have another newborn.
Sounds like the OP is oversensitive and really just pissed because they did not get her any bagels.

lol - seriously, I'm not pissed that they didn't get bagels - just that they didn't do anything when they do something for everyone else around here. Yes, I do have some animosity towards this team since my old manager left, and I intend to look for a new job after I have the baby. It's one thing if the guys were just joking around like pp mentioned about the waddle, etc - this guy was just downright mean. I've totally had it with being at work, so yes, I'm being sensitive about it.

vintageutopia · June 2013

magdalina.h:
I missed the insensitive part. Well except for not doing something as a group to celebrate.

See, this was my thought yesterday when I read this. I must have low expectations, because I don't expect everyone to keep my pregnancy first and foremost in their thoughts. <shrug>

143BabyCakes · June 2013

It's not a big deal. It's your hormones. I used to get "moo"ed at

luvmyducks · June 2013

Um people have babies all the time. You are not superwoman or something. Yes, it's nice when people are interested or do something nice. But that doesn't mean if it is not done, people are insensitive. They just don't give an eff. And honestly, I don't know many men that would. I realize you are venting, but get over it.

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