Last name

Krenae8 · June 2013

My boyfriend and I are having an argument over if the baby has my last name or his. I had the proposal that he take my last name and if we get married then I'll change his when I change mine. My boyfriend says its a slap in the face that he not have his last name. What do you do about last names when your unmarried?

LoveOfMikesLife · June 2013

Personally the baby would have mine. I know I'll be a part of the babies life. Can't guarantee that with him.

However, just to be on the safe side look into the rules on child support ( if something happened and you split) in some states the baby has to have the fathers last name in order to make him pay it.

whatididntkno · June 2013

I don't have personal experience, but all three of the babies born in my extended family in similar situations took the dad's name. In only 1 of the 3 situations is the dad still around a lot.

If it was me, I'd have LO take my name.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

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CoIvie · June 2013

My kiddo is taking my last name. No ifs ands or buts

Krenae8 · June 2013

I know that he will be around and be a great dad. Him disappearing is not the problem. It's that we haven't been getting along lately and incase our relationship doesn't make it.

3Dewdrops · June 2013

I gave my DD my then husband's name even though I knew we were separating. I have regretted it a billion times. I know your situation is different though. Tough decision. Don't let him bully you into it, decide what is best for you. We can assume you will always be the primary parent. What do you think the chances are he will always be there to?

IforShort · June 2013

LoveOfMikesLife:
However, just to be on the safe side look into the rules on child support if something nbsp;happened and you split in some states the baby has to have the fathers last name in order to make him pay it. nbsp;

I worked as a child support enforcement agent and have never heard of this. Not saying it's not true, just that none of the states I interacted with, including filing child support with foreign countries, ever made this an issue. Whomever the custodial parent names as the mother or father would be brought in and given a paternity or maternity test if they deny kinship.

I wrote all that to say that I don't think that choosing the last name would be a factor in filing and obtaining child support should you need to. If it were me I would give my child my last name until my SO was ready to offer me his.

::Mobile punctuation edit::

LittleNan · June 2013

I think just your last name is best, but only you know the state of your relationship.

You could always hyphenate.

artistlife · June 2013

If you are e not married I suggest using your name. The hospital will call the baby baby boy/girl (your last name). They did this to me even though I was married. I hadn't changed my last name yet so he went by my maiden name.

I also have a friend that has 3 kids all 5 years apart and each has a different last name than her. She hates it. She said it is very confusing to the kids and the schools.

LuClo · June 2013

From the other side of the story- my mom was in an unstable relationship when I was born. She gave me her last name and I'm so glad she did. He wasn't around for long, but she's always been my mom.

Also- because my bio-dad was so minimally involved I never knew his family. It would be lonely to have a last name that didn't connect to anyone. Having my mom's last night made me feel like I belonged to her really strong network of sisters, cousins, aunts, etc.

bmqcmg · June 2013

DDs dad and I got married after she was born. We were engaged when we had her but not married. DD has always had her dad's last name.

It will be the same with this LO. SO and I are currently engaged and have a date set for later next year and LO will have SOs last name.

To me, it all depends on where you and your SO stand in your relationship and how much you think SO will be in your LOs life.

Rharold · June 2013

For legal purposes you may want to use the fathers last name, just in case it doesn't work out, I know that sounds ominous, but it happens. Just in case, I'm giving my baby the last name Beiber.

AshleyF1234 · June 2013

Most people go with the father's last name. If the couple has no intention of staying or being together, a lot hyphenate or do two last names. IE: Baby Smith-Watson or just Smith Watson. I think the father has a right to the last name, as much as you do.

Also, FYI... If you do get married later, your marriage license will let you change your name. Your child's name will only be changed through a court order. So you will have to file a petition with a judge to change the name. Its not as simple as changing it when you are married. At least not in my state.

MsCrispy · June 2013

I think it depends on your relationship.

If I was 100% sure that he would be an involved father even if we broke up, then I would do his name. If I had any doubt, I would use mine.

mmm50 · June 2013

My advice is to give the baby your last name. Not sure what state you are in, but I'm an attorney in Ohio so I have dealt with Ohio and the neighboring states mostly. I have tons of women coming in to change their baby's name after the fact and it can be expensive and a pain. In Ohio you get to choose the baby's last name, but if he establishes paternity (either by a DNA test or parental acknowledgment forms) then if he causes a big stink the Court will hyphenate it. They usually don't have the money to pay lawyers to cause a big stink about it, though-- and if the two of you plan to get married, the process is really easy if you both agree.

As far as child support, in Ohio the name definitely doesn't matter. It's just a matter of establishing paternity. Once paternity is established he will be obligated to pay child support, but will also be entitled to visitation (it's a catch 22 in some tricky situations). Good luck!!

hollowway · June 2013

My SO and I aren't married. We have a house together, a car together and have every intention of getting married in the future. I refuse to get married while pregnant. We also agreed that buying a house AND having a wedding at the same time would be too much. We planned our pregnancy and the two losses before this.

For those reasons, LO will have my SO's last name. Does it bother me that I will have a different last name than LO til next June? Yes. I've considered going to the courthouse and having a quick little legal marriage done and te wedding later. Regardless, my SO and I are committed to each other and the baby. We are a family and his baby will have his last name.

Chargersgrl33 · June 2013

I agree with others. Baby would have my last name until we got married. Just how I would do it. I've seen too many situations turn out bad.

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