Silly question maybe

BrilliantBrunetteJenny · June 2013

When do you think it is okay to take your crying baby back? I mean like when my in laws or my parents are holding him. I cringe on the inside when I hear him crying because I know that if I take him he will stop. I want to take my baby so bad but I don't want to make anyone feel like I am not letting them hold him or giving them a chance.

MrsBigTime · June 2013

I'll be honest and admit that the only reason why I don't immediately take my baby back is because I don't want to be "that mom" who people roll their eyes at because I respond to every single peep she makes (you know what people say).

That being said, if DD starts to really cry, I take her back quite quickly. I try to do it casually, but really, I'm scrambling to my baby as quickly as I can. If she's just fussing and/or whining, I try to ignore the "Get her! Get her!" in my head and give whoever is holding her a little time to distract her. Again, I try to be casual, but I watch the situation closely and if the person isn't super comfortable with a fussy babe, I give them about 30 seconds for her to calm down before I get her. If the person thinks they are able to calm or distract her (i.e. MIL), I hold back longer, but only because I know my daughter really, truly is ok and I want to honor the fact that my MIL does want to be able to care for her when she fusses, does that make sense? I maybe give her a minute, two tops.

BrilliantBrunetteJenny · June 2013

Yeah it makes sense. I waited far to long lol I sat there for like 20 min with my son crying he wasn't like pissed or anything wrong crying just like i don't want to be doing this cry. I wanted so bad to take him back, but my family already thinks i am selfish with him. I am going to be honest and say I am. I try so hard to share but find it really hard to. I am working on it and as he gets bigger and older i am finding it a wee bit easier. I swear these old school moms are really stuck on the let them cry bit though.

pitterpatter129 · June 2013

Kimbus22:
When he was a little baby I'd take him back right away.
Now he's almost 2 and I'm all "Oh good. You make him stop. I'm getting a drink."

LOL - totally this! Now I assume the 2 yr old is just having a tantrum. The baby I take the second he cries. He's mine and I don't feel bad swooping him away. They can have him at age 2!

VPGIRL06 · June 2013

I've got a loud fusser so people tend to give her to me anyway within like 3-5 minutes LOL. No one wants to deal with her BS

happymommy1215 · June 2013

I feel awkward when its my MIL also - I've asked my DH to do it which has worked out well. She gets a little snippy with him, but she's his mother so he can deal with it much better than I could.

MrsG071809 · June 2013

I find most people are itching to give her back as soon as she even looks like she might cry - which is fine by me.

MIL, however, thinks she is a baby whisperer or something, and always tries to calm her herself. The first few times it was reeeallllyy hard to let her, especially because she wasn't very good at it but now I am getting better at sitting back and allowing her to try. I just offer to take her, and MIL usually says oh no she's fine, but I just let her know I'm happy to take her back whenever she wants. Luckily my baby isn't usually very fussy at all, so this doesn't happy too often.

caseylynw · June 2013

My MIL has taught me alot about how to calm down my son. She always hands DS back to me if he's really upset, and at first I had to hand him back because I couldn't calm him down. Now I do it all myself. Granted I live no where near my family so the dynamic is a little different, but it was really nice those few weeks I was with her to get a little help with a fussy baby

rockyrollgirl · June 2013

People usually give her right back to me when she starts throwing a fit so..... I don't know lol.

DublinMama · June 2013

We live far away from our families, and have basically no help around us. My DH keeps odd hours because of his work schedule, so I do a lot of solo parenting. Having said that, I never rush in when someone else is holding him and he's fussy, haha! I'm all too happy to give someone else a chance and take a little break. But like I said, no one else is around very often. I do usually offer suggestions like, "He's probably hungry." or "He's getting tired." Since the other people with him on those rare occasions are usually my mother or MIL or his legal guardian, they usually then offer to feed him or put him down. Works for me!

DCKate · June 2013

I usually give it a minute and then just say, oh, she's tired or hungry. My MIL will start to walk away with her which makes me insane, but my husband stopped that right away. It's a hard thing to learn, but YOU are the mom. Your rules, your kid. You get her whenever you want!

[Deleted User] · June 2013

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ObLaDi · June 2013

I let them try soothing him for a few minutes if they look like they want to. But then if it's not working or he's escalating I step in. I am definitely conscious of trying not to be too grabby or overbearing.

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