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Normal? How would you handle?

brandyleighxxbrandyleighxx member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Hi - I've never posted or really even lurked much but I'm at my wit's end with my 3 y/o step son. I won't go into detail about his behavioral problems but now he seems to have so much aggression. His first responses to being upset are 1 of 3 things: yell, hit, and/or threaten. We only have him Fri PM - Sun PM for 2 weekends, 2 week break, then 2 weekends, repeat (along with his 4y/o sister and 6 y/o brother).

Is it normal for kids around this age to do this? For example, his grandparents were visiting this past weekend and they were out playing with the sprinkler and baby pool. He had a bucket of water and his grandfather splashed him with the water (he was already wet, in swimming trunks, etc.) and he screamed "I'll shoot you" dumped the water out, picked up the bucket, and started to throw it at him (his grandfather quickly told him not to and he listened). When his older brother splashed him he yelled, picked up a plastic shovel, and whacked him over the head.

We've mentioned his behavior to his mom in the past and she says she puts him in time out and tries to ignore certain behavior and re-direct other times. We haven't really had a sit down/serious discussion with his mother but we feel like she is of no help. She says things like "oh, he's trouble brewing" "his teachers are in for a real treat" "I've accepted he's a bully". I'm sure she does put him in time out and ignores certain behaviors but none of those tactics work for him. That kid will sit in time out for hours and refuse to come out unless it's on his terms. I really feel he needs professional help.

any advice?

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Re: Normal? How would you handle?

  • Jules122907Jules122907 member
    3yos tend to have trouble dealing with their emotions and how to properly let them out. How are his verbal skills? He may feel like he is not being heard or understood.
    We handle hitting and yelling the same way every time. We step in and take our child's hands, tell them the behavior is not allowed and send them to a time out for 34 minutes. After time out they have to apologize to whoever they hurt and then we sit down and tell them that hitting or yelling is not nice and hurts people. We then ask why they were so mad. After they tell us why they are mad we explain that instead of hitting or yelling use words to say why they are mad and come to an adult for help instead of acting out.
    It takes time and repetition from all adults so mom has to be on board too.

    My 4yo is still working on this but 4 out of 5 times she will say "I'm angry" and walk away to calm down and/or come to me for help when her little brother is being a pain instead of hitting.
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  • katiedonicekatiedonice
    I am a KG teacher and would suggest that his pediatrician be spoken with. It sounds like more severe aggression than I would think is typical. I had 2 students this school year, have such extreme (and largely untreated issues) that both were admitted to mental institutions for several days for violence and threats to self and others. If you and hubby are concerned I would follow-up with child's mother AND doctor.
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