Military Families
ArmyWife6087
member
Expecting While Husband is Deploying
ArmyWife6087
member
Hello all! I'm new here. I'm needing to connect and get some advice/encouragement from others who have gone through child birth while your husband was getting ready to deploy or was deployed. My husband will be mobilized when I am due with our first child so he'll still be in the states but not close to home and we're not sure he'll get to come back when the baby is born (might have to wait for his weekend break before flying over seas a month later). I'm nervous and scared. He's in the reserves so at least I have my family here. But, I also have no one around to really relate to my situation.
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Re: Expecting While Husband is Deploying
Definitely plan as if he won't be there. The thing that helped me and my H the most when he was deployed during my second pregnancy was that when I went into labor we both knew who was going to watch our older child, who was taking me to the hospital, who was going to be in the delivery room, and who was going to keep him updated as my labor progressed. It wasn't how we'd have done things in an ideal world, but we made the best of the situation and it turned out just fine.
You have your family nearby. That's a blessing most military couples don't have. Talk things through together first and then involve whichever family members you both decide you want to be part of your delivery. Figure out in advance how you'll be able to contact him (will he have cell phone access/coverage, will you need to send a Red Cross message, etc...) and then do what needs to be done.
And finally, ask for help. You may not know anyone who's been in your exact situation, but that doesn't mean the people in your life can't relate to what you're going through. I think one of the biggest mistakes we can make is assuming that our civilian friends and family can't understand our lives. They can, and moreover they generally really want to be helpful in situations like yours.
Thank you for your advice!
I'm definitely not planning on him being there and we have a plan for who will be in the delivery room (my mom). I think I'm mostly nervous because they have no specific instructions for how to reach them while they're mobilized yet (although I know Family Readiness will know how to get in touch). I'm sure my anxiety will be relieved when we find out more information!
I have friends who are certainly trying to help me through this. Of my close friends and family none of them have gone through long separations before so it's a little difficult. But, I'm going through grieving stages already so I'm sure that has something to do with my lack of willingness to relate... lol. I'll hopefully snap out of that soon!