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October 2012 Moms
What do you think??
So DH's uncle has two jobs. One as a billing admin at a hospital and one as a part time waiter at a casino resort here. He called me a few days ago and told me that they are hiring for more part time help, I could basically make my own schedule, so 5 hour shifts 3 days a week. The tips are great since its at a casino. The issue is, when I talked to MH, he said that he did not want to keep B that much so I would need to depend on my mom and MIL to watch him. Do you think it would be worth all the drama of finding a sitter for a few days a week just for tips?
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Re: What do you think??
Douchiness aside, it just depends on how bad you need the money and need to be out of the house. If you are desperate, I say go for it.
Or you could do it to spite your husband. Either way.
After 7 years of no ovulation...
BFP#1 10/24/11 ~ EDD 6/29/12 ~ Natural m/c 11/2/11
BFP#2 2/3/12 ~ Alice born 9/26/12
Just to give a different perspective. My sis is a teacher. So during the school year for the last 18 months or so, she's had her MIL watch her son 3 days a week & he's in DC the other two days. It's cause A LOT of stress in the family because MIL does things the way she raised her kids and not necessarily how my sis wants them done. Sis is afraid to raise too much of a stink about it because she doesn't want to loose MIL as free babysitting. Plus she really is a good MIL/grandma she just "raised 3 boys of her own" and thinks she knows what's best. So sis knows she's just doing if out of love.
Anyway, I know you and your mom are close, so maybe that won't be an issue. But make sure you lay down boundaries/rules right away with both her & your MIL so you don't have the awkwardness my sis has now.
Good luck in your decision!
Lol
This
Yes, ginormous douchecanoe, his words were, "well you dont get everything done around here so why would you want to leave here to work and leave ME with the baby, I have too much else to do not including vacuuming that you never do".
That aside, we dont "need" the money, it would just be nice. I have never depended on anyone else and their income before so I tend to feel guilty when I buy things other than gas or groceries. I have been a server before and a bartender before so its not like I am not used to it but it would be different than my current daily grind haha. My MIL is a teacher so I would only have her during the summer. I really just miss some adult interaction. I feel like a giant mom blob all the time. I want a reason to get up and really put on makeup.
I think you should do it and here's why
I think your self esteem is taking a pounding from your H and this will give you an opportunity to be totally outside the situation. You get to step away from being a wife and a mother and do something else. It may give you the confidence (and the money) to make some tougher decisions.
It may be hard w MIL but your husband seriously needs to shut the front door. It's astonishing that he'd say that to me but we're different so who knows.
I'm sorry but telling you that is completely unacceptable.
between that, leaving you home alone for multiple weekends, getting in a drunk driving accident...why are you with him? you know you deserve better than this, right? Reading this makes me feel sad for you
it sounds like he thinks you're his maid. REally. He's using your status as a SAHM to manipulate you and do whatever he wants.
ALL THE MORE REASON TO TAKE THE JOB
I'm just gonna say it
this guy is emotionally abusive.
and he has no interest in your wellbeing or happiness and from what I can tell, no interest in his child either.
I agree!
Lets just send our husbands away and move in together!!!
Haha lets do it!!! At least shiz would get done and the kids would be happy.
I am going to see the uncle today for an early fathers day party. I will get some more details then regarding the job. I know B will be in daycare when I go back to work full time, there is one that I am really serious about because I know the director but until then, we 3 or 4 people that could watch him a few hours a week if needed.
I posted before I saw this post. My service on mobile sucks today. Or you guys are really really fast.
Oh, Candace. You need a break sweetie. Sounds like it will be totally worth it for you to take the job. Getting out will help! I only go into the office a couple days a week, and as much as I love being home with Bailey, I need that time away.
This! Thats the beauty of cash tips as you already know. You can create an account he never needs to know about and use your moms address. He thinks you average 70 bucks a night but its really 120 bucks.
To me, having a job is more than just an income. It's time for myself and a way to have an identity beyond being mother and wife. It's important to me, and it sounds like it would be good for you.
I'm going to echo what Lady Dix is saying...the fact that you're referring to finding a sitter as drama is troubling, especially when the only reason you're looking for a sitter is because your husband isn't willing to watch him (when I assume he is able to?). If this is something you want, your husband should be supportive. It's as simple as that.
This makes me really angry for you that you are having to sacrifice so much of what you want for a man who doesn't seem to want to give an inch for you. I am sure he has good qualities, but he doesn't seem to be able to step up in even the smallest way for you when you need him.
this! It could be your much needed emergency exit plan.
it's funny, I was out on my walk before and thinking about this and I totally agree.
YOu want this recorded, documented, etc. He's being really awful and if things ever did get heated you never know what kind of crazy custody he would want just to be more of a jerk. Being able to prove that he did all this will certainly tip things in your favor
and I was also thinking that whether he realizes it or not, he is trying to keep you in your place.
What about therapy for just you?
This. Times 100000. You need to get out and do something for yourself so you don't go crazy. And I'm not sure why he wouldn't want to watch his kid.
Honestly, I know u didn't mesn it to be a dh bashing. But he deserves to be bashed. He doesn't want u to work and just does what he wants expecting u to take care ofneverything. It sounds pretty emotionally abusive to me. You absolutely need to have some money of your OWN, just in case.
we come from similar places...
we know what to do
this ain't my first time at the rodeo!
I have thought about therapy for me but I know he wont pay for it so it will need to come from my own money. Will definitely be looking into the job.
You understand that if you need therapy but he won't pay for it but he also doesn't want you to work that's straight up evil? It's not even douchey. It's cruel. This is abuse.
All of this. Him not being willing to pay for you seeking help is a big red flag.