Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Joy+BabyNumber3
member
Re: Tell me! If you had a tubal...was your c-section recovery worse?
Mine was actually my best recovery but there were extenuating circumstances. I had a preemie and my DH was two hours away, so couldn't visit often between taking care of my older kids and working. This meant I had to be self-reliant much faster. It also meant I had to go to my baby in the Nicu, since she couldn't be brought to me. I was out of bed less than five hours later and made myself walk through four different hallways before sitting in the wheelchair for the last small leg of the walk. That was a horrible and painful walk, but I think it made all the difference in my recovery. By the time I was discharged, I'd done that walk twice a day, everyday and it really helped to move around. And actually, when I was discharged, the act of walking no longer hurt - I only had pain when I was getting out of bed.
That being said - the csection itself was much worse! Whether this was because I had a preemie or because of the tubal or just because I was in a different hospital with a specialist doing the csection, I have no idea. It was much longer - twice as long as my prior sections - and while they were doing the tubal, I couldn't feel it, but the pressure felt like they had my skin pulled up to my sternum. I honestly thought they'd done a vertical cut, considering how high they were working in my belly.
But when it was all said and done, it was only about 20 minutes of discomfort during the surgery. I would advise to get up quickly and move around as much as possible after - I was lazy with my second son and only walked back and forth to the bathroom the first day and that was my most miserable recovery out of all three (and I was 7 years younger than I am now, so really this should have been the worst recovery and it was the best). This time around, I was able to be completely on my own in a different city as soon as I was discharged.
Four weeks ago, I had my 3rd c-section and a tubal ligation. Everyone is different, but for me, this was my hardest recovery. The pain was the worst I ever felt. It was a lot harder for me to move around quickly and I was taking pain medicine like clockwork. With my first c-section, I had to be put to sleep because the epidural nor the spinal tap worked and they tried five times. With my second, I not sure which one worked, but I was able to be numbed during the surgery, but DH said that I slept the entire time. Only thing I remember is when they pulled my daughter above the curtain something off her body or out her mouth landed on my face. With my last c-section, they did an epidural with the spinal tap medicine because I have a weird spine. I was awake the entire time, even during the tubal ligation and it was the most stressful because my doctor is not good at holding his expressions in so I heard a lot of "oh my gosh" and "wow". He told me it was because of the scar tissue from the other surgeries. My tubes were hard to tie. As the anestesia wore off they then, along with the pain medicine, started my IV on pitocin, which, as we all know is used to start labor. That started contractions....NO JOKE. As the days went by, I started to have pain only on my right side and the nurse told me many of her patients who have the tubal say they have pain only on one side. My older sister, who had my neice a month prior by c-section and along with a tubal, said that her pain was very bad also, but it was more towards and directly in her belly button. Like I said, everyone is different. I hope if you do decide to have a tubal, it won't be as horrific as mine. Good Luck
My last c-section (my 4th) with a tubal, was my easiest surgery and recovery out of all of them. I have minimal scar tissue and adhesions. I was released a day earlier than all my other c-sections and it was truly my best c-section.
I did workout throughout my last PG and was in the best shape though. That helped a lot.
GL!
Thank you for saying this. I was about to freak out. LOL My OB says the recovery is no different with a tubal, so I'm leaning towards one but the two pp freaked me out!
BTW, Hi Harriet! How are things?