DH/partner leave hospital to run errands after delivery while in recovery

RedLucia · June 2013

Thinking about my birth plan and logistics and have a question:

What if I want my DH to go out to buy a special food or pick up something from the house while I am in recovery after labor. I think the hospital keeps me for 48 hours after delivery. So it is hard for me to even imagine my DH wanting to stay in that room for 48 hours after delivery. So to me, it doesn't seem like a big deal to send him out for an errand.

What do other non-FTMs think? Did you have your DH/partner there every last second or could you send him off to do things for you?

We have good friends that live close by that we could also ask to grab some thing from our house, but it seems a lot easier to have DH do it, because he knows where everything is.

Thanks.

Wendy Gipson · June 2013

My DH stayed the whole time with both girls! We had someone watch our oldest when I had the second one. When she brought her up to see her new sister she brought anything if we needed it!

lovethebosox · June 2013

I will be having a csection, so I know I will be there for three nights. DH will stay the first night, but go home the other two in order to be with or other boys. He has actually stayed only the first night for each little one.

tarheelpixie · June 2013

I'd send him home to sleep at night - I didn't get much sleep with my first daughter because the nurses were in there all the time taking blood, checking stats, etc. You'll most likely be exhausted when you leave and its helpful to have one well-rested adult!

Ohiomama2013 · June 2013

My hub stayed with me most of the time, but I wasn't afraid to send him on an errand or let him grab a bite to eat and blow off some steam with his brother. I thought the most special moments were late at night when everyone else was gone and it was just us, feeding our little one. That's when it seemed real to me. The maternity ward at my hospital has large suites with a comfortable sleeping area for the Hub so it worked well for us.

RedLucia · June 2013

Thanks! I like the tip to suggest he "get out" if it seems like it'll help him and for him to get some rest at home if he's not getting at the hospital. I think he will go nutso being in a room with windows that don't open for over 48 hours. I know that I will be ready to get outside for fresh air.

michelle_1221 · June 2013

My DH ran home every day to grab a shower, lunch and check on the dog. It didn't bother me. I am worried this time around because we don't have care for DD1, and he'll only be able to stay with me at the hospial for 1 night (and I'm a CS so will be there at least 3 nights). Nervous that I may have to send DD2 to the hospital nursery, and hope to avoid that. I may ask a friend to stay with me at night. No local family. So - no, not a big deal to run out. He will probably need a little break.

Geeps2 · June 2013

I had my daughter at 8:37 pm and didn't get to my room till almost 11:15 or so. He stayed wtih me during delivery, went up with the baby to the nursery to be with her while they checked her out while I was downstairs getting stitched up. He went home both nights and I was at the hospital by myself. We have pets so he had to go home for the 2 elderly dogs. It wasn't bad really. He was back in the morning by 7 am, 7:30 the latest with a nice cup of coffee and breakfast for both of us. This time around we have my daughter who will be almost 2 and plan on doing the same thing. He will go home at night so our daughter will be able to sleep in her own bed. He may have to be a bit later in getting to the hospital due to waiting on family to get to our house to watch our daughter. The only difference is my sister will stay with me this time overnight at least the 1st night.

It wasn't a big deal for us and honestly I LOVED having that special time with her all to myself.

Abeille · June 2013

Have you asked what your husband's feelings are about this? It may be one of those wait and just see how it goes situations.

Did I need him there every second? No. But he really wanted to be there and stayed the entire time.

I've told him this time it's ok with me if he spends the night at home so he can sleep better (We're only 10 min from the hospital). But he's making pretty clear he wants to stay as much as possible again. He will have to leave at times to check in on DD, so we'll see how it goes.

RedLucia · June 2013

I have yet to talk with him. I know my DH will spend the night with in the hospital. I'm just wondering if spouses usually want to break out during the recovery days for a breath of fresh air or if they are willing go grab the forgotten item at home etc. I imagine we will be similar to most couples. It seems like the partner does leave for a bit in most cases.

hologram87 · June 2013

michelle_1221:
My DH ran home every day to grab a shower, lunch and check on the dog. It didn't bother me.

this is what DH did too. Probably will do that again this time. My mom will be staying with DD so I will want him to run home and check on her to make sure DD is doing ok.

GracieBlue · June 2013

I had a c/s last time so I was in the hospital for four days. DH stayed overnight the entire time but ran out now and then. I desperately wanted a coffee coolatta so I was happy to send dh out to get one

RedLucia · June 2013

GracieBlue:
I had a c/s last time so I was in the hospital for four days. DH stayed overnight the entire time but ran out now and then. I desperately wanted a coffee coolatta so I was happy to send dh out to get one

This is what I'm thinking! Will DH suddenly become glued to me? ...and do I need to have someone else lined up to take care of my spur-of-the-moment whims? ha.

irishgirl0525 · June 2013

I haven't really given this a lot of thought yet, but I'm guessing he will want to stay there the first night but will definitely go home at some point to shower and feed the cats, and then come back as soon as possible. I won't need him to be by my side the whole time, but I'm sure he'll want to be there as much as possible. I'm sure if I want something special to eat, he'll run out and get it for me

I have lots of local family, so if he's not there, I'll have plenty of company, and I'm sure I'll want a half hour to myself at some point.

TX-Bride · June 2013

DH left at night and sometimes during the day to run errands, check on the dog. I found out that when he wasn't around the nurses checked on me and the baby more and were more caring.

RedLucia · June 2013

TX-Bride:
DH left at night and sometimes during the day to run errands, check on the dog. I found out that when he wasn't around the nurses checked on me and the baby more and were more caring.

That is interesting to note. I suspect that my DH will feel a bit like an observer a lot of the time, because I will be getting the handle on breastfeeding and everything like that.

laurakaz13 · June 2013

DH stayed the whole time, minus running out for coffee or snacks. He wanted to stay. I wouldn't have cared if he left for a little while, but I did want him to stay with us.

ocho2002 · June 2013

I had DS later in the evening so DH spent the night - he really didn't need to. He went home in the morning to shower, eat and then spent most of the day and early evening and slept home the second night. This time, he will go home so DS has him there at night and will spend most of the day with me at the hospital but he will certainly leave to rest, run errands, shower, etc. We live less than 10 min from the hospital so its not a big deal to go back and forth.

kje120 · June 2013

DH ran home to let the dogs out and feed them and to pick up some stuff that I forgot (hospital bag was not packed ahead of time so I forgot a lot of stuff). I didn't see it as a big deal - I was just laying around and getting kind of stir crazy myself.

kathleen02 · June 2013

My DH ran one errand and that was taking care of our dogs. This time since we already have a child, he may run out and be with him or pick him up from Grandma's and bring him in. I don't know. I didn't mind his brief trip home. I think the pediatrician came to visit and I took a nap while he was away.

AliSarah · June 2013

My DH was back and forth a couple times a day. He was driving my daughter around and making sure the dogs got in and out at a pretty regular schedule. He did stay the nights with me and tell me when he would get back. (because he didn't say when he'd get back the first time and I was watching the clock) I would definitely say ask him what he thinks is going to happen, because he might have already figured out how he thinks it will go and nothing is less fun than when you think one thing will happen and he thinks another thing will happen. At least at our house anyway...

Rubygirl · June 2013

Heck no, DH didn't stay the entire time. The first night while I was in labor, before baby, he did. After that he went home at night to sleep. One of us needed to be well rested. We also had pets to feed at home and it was easier than asking a relative to do it.

I had nurses and doctors at the hospital to take care of me and baby. DH didn't need to sleep in an uncomfortable chair.

diana.filipi · June 2013

With our 1st my DH forgot to bring his CPAP machine. I finally kicked him out at about 5:30 in the morning. I had to stay in the hospital for 5 days with her as there were some issues and I stayed alone! He came at all different times and certainly was there to encourage me to nurse and helped me get down to the NICU and such but I really didn't want a constant companion. And I liked being able to get him to bring me what ever I wanted or needed.

We continued the trend when DS arrived and now this time it will be the same. He will come with me for the section of course and he'll likely stay most of the day of the surgery/birth but he won't stay the night. He'll come and go as needed or desired.

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DH/partner leave hospital to run errands after delivery while in recovery

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