Normal emotions?

Maureene239 · May 2013

My husband and I had been ttc for 6 years and just as I was starting to accept the fact that it was never going to happen for me we found out we were pregnant, we were so happy and so exited, we told everyone... Now I wish we hadn't. We just m/c 2 days ago at 6 1/2 weeks, and I'm so completely devastated. A lot of the posts I read say to have someone you can talk to about it, but I don't want to talk to anyone about it, every time I think about it I cry let alone talk about it... Is this normal, did anyone else not want to talk to anyone?

Maureene239 · May 2013

Thanks at least I know I'm not weird or rude for just wanting to be alone and not talk about it. I'm sorry for your losses as well. This is pain that I do not wish on anyone. I do also find that posting on here is kind of helpful, this is the first post I've done. Thank you for your reply!

MollySm · May 2013

I agree with PP, there is no right way to grieve. As time passes, you might find that talking helps, and you might not. I am so sorry for your loss.

BR · May 2013

I am so sorry. I went through years of infertility before having my daughter. It was the most painful time in my life before this happened. I never wanted to talk about it and I don't want to talk about losing my baby either. But, I am the type of person who doesn't like to talk about my emotions. It just makes me more sad and upset. I've heard it's not good to bottle up your emotions, you should get it out, etc. but that's never worked for me. I think your feelings are normal. You may just need some time or you may never want to talk about it, but I think you should do what is best for you. I agree with the pp that this board is good because we can get a little bit out that maybe we wouldn't say in real life. Hugs to you.

Jengal2 · May 2013

I think what you're feeling us completely normal. Take your time, and do what feels right for you. I sequestered my self from everyone but my DH for a little over a week, before I was able to talk to a select few others about it. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.

panther422516 · May 2013

That was exactly how I was whenn mine first happen....noone I didn't want totgalk to ....even my gram whom I'm super close with and live right by for almost 2 wk she kept talking to my DH asking how I was and such but she goes to the extreme with questions that's why I didn't want to talk to her most of all not friends noone. We do have a 6yr old and that was hard for himk to get throuvgh this ....it has been a little over ywk and I do talk about my experiences through this but not my feelings per say....I'm truely sorry for your loss..please know we r all here for u if u need us. Don't gvive up...thoughts prayers strength and courage to get through this

Jenrileysmom · May 2013

I went through that. I was really bummed that we had told everyone and then had to untell everyone. I had my mom tell the rest of my family and I told one girl at work and had her tell the office. I didn't want to discuss it with anyone because I felt like everyone wanted me to tell them that i was ok and I wasn't. Then about a week or so later I was ready to talk to a few people about the whole story from beginning to end. Then that got old too. I went back and forth until I felt more peace about it. Now I'm in a much better place but sometimes certain things bring back a little sting of pain.

It does get easier. Sorry for your loss.

Maureene239 · May 2013

Thank you all for your kind words and sharing your experiences. This forum has helped me immensely and I'm so grateful that you all are so willing to talk on it. I am having my boss tell the team at work while I'm out so hopefully no one tries talking to me when I get back. Just a simple "how are you doing" puts me in tears... Hugs to all.

spokenfor1583 · May 2013

Totally normal. I kind of go between the two. I like to talk about it but then I feel like people really don't care, so then I like to be alone. I also have found talking about it times has led to some unwanted advice too. But we all grieve differently and no ones way of grieving is wrong. I am so for your loss as well.

dragonfly711 · June 2013

So sorry for your loss. I had a MMC in February. I just told work two weeks before since I teach and I am an hour from home just in case anything happend. I was 11 1/3 weeks. Some friends and family knew as well.

I was glad I told people. I am very open about my mc. Since people knew I had so many people tell me they had one as well. Some even had more than one. Hearing this has made it easier for me to deal with. I know that it happens more than we think because no one talks about it. I would say 4 out of five people I would talk to said they had one too.

Having that support and seeig that they went on to have healthy kids after made me think positive and say don't give up.

I was super emotional for at least a month. Finally after A F came for the first time after 5 weeks. I started feeling myself again. Now 3 months later I still think about it daily still get upset once in awhile but times does heal. You will never forget. Hope this helps.

TheStylish1 · June 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. What you're feeling is exactly what I felt. I didn't want to talk to anyone except DH for over a week. After that I've talked a little about my experience but not so much about my emotions. DH has been amazing and there for me whenever I need him. And I have found this board has been the best place for me to continue to talk.

2Nessa · June 2013

Sorry for your loss! I had told a couple of my close friends when we were pregnant and then when we found out we lost the baby and were going to have a d &c I told them what was happening and that I couldn't have them ask me any questions or saying anything about it. My husband would call them or answer my phone and give them updates because it was too hard for me to talk about. After a couple of months though it was easier to talk about. Especially to one of my friends because she too had a miscarriage and could identify with my feelings more than dh. Though most days are good but there are still some sad ones. I hope the best for you.

Maureene239 · June 2013

Thank you all for your support. I'm going back to work Monday for the first time since the mc on 5-29 and I am not looking forward to it. One of my coworkers is pg so I will constantly be reminded of what I lost, especially since her EDD is only 5 days before what mine was. Also I've had no contact with my best friend/ sister in law because she too is pg and unfortunate reminds me of what I lost. I think I need to heal first, or at least heal enough to be able to be around her. I probably sound like a miserable brat, but I just can't deal right now... Ya know?

Normal emotions?

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