Thoughts on TV

aschnee · June 2013

MH and I are pretty active people who prefer to be outside doing things. However, some nights, we catch ourselves watching TV show after TV show and later saying "we should have done something productive tonight". Before we had DD, I was reading a book that talked about the negative effects of overstimulation from TV, and that, coupled with our wasted nights of TV, made us decide to limit DD's TV viewing, as well as our own. Fast-forward to today. DD is 16 months old. We still occasionally watch too much TV after DD goes to bed, but her TV viewing is very limited and we keep her occupied with drawing, books, etc. and A LOT of playing outside. On the weekends when I take showers I generally come out to her laying on the couch with MH, watching a cooking or woodworking show, and when we go to restaurants where there are TV's, we don't shield her eyes. We're not crazy, but don't feel that she needs to be glued to cartoons at 16 months of age.

Both of our families believe that we are bat sh!t crazy! They cannot believe that we "don't let her watch TV" and act as though we're depriving her. The other weekend, FIL turned on Curious George for her while we were there and MH turned it off...a huge conversation about our poor little girl who can't watch TV ensued as she got her books out of her bag to look through. Seriously?? My mother brings up TV just about every time we have a long conversation and will say things like "you guys need to get cable soon. There are so many educational programs and Eva could learn a lot from them." And I always say something along the lines of "I think she's doing okay with learning things at home and daycare" to which my mother responds, "but it's so fun the way they teach things on TV now". Okay, I get it. The big one is when TV characters are on someone's clothing and someone in my family always has to point out that DD doesn't even know who that is since she can't watch TV...umm, so? And, "won't she feel left out if she doesn't know about these cartoons?" I suppose maybe, but then couldn't she tell them about the awesome time we had playing outside? I have NEVER criticized anyone in my family for their TV viewing. It is just a personal preference for us to limit it and we don't even try to make it public, it just always comes out when we're asked if she watches particular cartoons etc. Why is TV so important to them and why are we seen as such weirdos for limiting it?

Sorry, I know this is very long...much longer than it needs to be. Maybe your time would have been better spent watching TV!!

inthelost · June 2013

TV is so NOT that important..I don't want my daughter when she's 1 to be glued to the television either! I don't blame you. you are the parents..not her. you do what is right for your family and your daughter.

eden8309 · June 2013

I think what you're doing is fantastic. We had cable TV for maybe 5 years total on and off growing up and I have nothing but great memories of my childhood. My siblings and I were always reading or playing outside and if we had to be inside, we read or watched age appropriate videos. I never felt "deprived" and don't think LO will be deprived either. DH and I don't have cable now and aren't planning on getting it.

kerip5 · June 2013

My little nieces watch a LOT of TV, so DH and I have talked about doing the same thing that you're doing with your LO. We don't have cable and don't miss it (well, DH misses live sports sometimes, but he lives). If you were really worried about her not knowing characters for some reason, I'm sure you could find a book that could fill in that need just fine. If you were shielding her eyes every time you were around a TV that might be a little weird, but from your description I think you're doing just fine!

Habs2Hart · June 2013

I think what you do sounds great and that's what we'll be planning on. We don't watch much tv. Usually, we PVR what we want to watch and then if it's a crummy night, instead of a renting a movie, we just curl up and catch up on some shows, but most stuff on TV is garbage anyway.

Too many parents just let their kids watch TV so they don't have to entertain kids. Children are healthier in body and mind if they are actually using them! Watching TV does not require the proper stimulation of the mind like books and activities.

Keep up the good work, Mom!

Samielle · June 2013

I don't think you're crazy at all. My nephew is 20 months old and all he does is watch tv. My brothers MIL baby sits him and watching tv is literally their entire day. He completely ignores anyone who is talking to him because he is so zoned in on that box. However, it isn't my place to say anything, as much as I want to share my opinion. My 12 year old daughter isn't and never has been very big on watching tv. In fact, we pay an insane amount of money for cable that we don't even utilize all that often. My husband and I have actually talked about researching shows that are legitimately educational rather than some cutesy characters designed to keep kids busy. Either way, I don't think a kid under 2 really has any business watching tv.

michelle7482 · June 2013

To each his own, my DD watches Barney several times a day. She dances to the songs, mimics the dance moves, and laughs when watching it. She is 15 months old. It calms her down when she is fussy and if she refuses to eat, I put it on and she will eat. Of course, if it's nice out, we go out in our backyard and play, go for walks, visit her cousins, go to the mall ect. But on days like today when we are stuck in the house b/c of the weather, I have no problem letting her watch some TV. Don't get me wrong, we till read books, play together and she plays alone but she gets bored easily. It's funny, she has no interest in any show except for Barney. She really loves the songs.

atorrrres · June 2013

I think what you're doing is great! It's a shame to see all the little kids that don't play outside, read, or do anything that doesn't require them to sit in front of a blinding screen. I've already told DH that my kids will NOT be watching tv or playing video games. There's so much more to do. All TV does is cause blank stares, are they actually learning anything? I have a little brother who's eight, and I get highly annoyed at the fact that if he's not watching TV or playing video games, he's "bored". Besides, all the cartoons nowadays are a complete waste of television. I miss the days when technology wasn't so advanced like it is now, I loved my childhood and I don't recall being glued to the TV or even owning a video game system.

staceymack · June 2013

My thoughts are tv is fine in moderation. I'm a FTM but DH and I already don't watch TV that much. We especially don't watch or mess with electronic devices while eating together. If I'm alone, then sure I'll browse the news or something while eating. I won't do that with the kids though. I think there are educational shows out there, but I hope to balance active learning and TV.

JocelynB0911 · June 2013

I really think it depends on the family. We have a very healthy balance between outside and learning activities inside and the TV. For the most part in our home it is on for background noise. Its not always cartoons but the kids are always around me and I have noticed how much they actually watch it and its really not that much.

Curls218 · June 2013

DH hates having the TV on. He'd much rather read or something. I'm a much bigger TV fan. I'll watch it a bit each night, maybe with a night off or two.

That being said, when this LO comes around, I don't want to turn into my brother who has the TV on 24/7 even if it's just background noise. I won't say I'll never let me kid watch TV but I want them to be able to play without having the TV on as well.

blondii428 · June 2013

I think that limiting TV is a very good idea. We recently got full custody of my SD and I've often found myself thinking that she should be finding more to entertain herself other than watching TV which is what she is used to from her previous living situations. I've gotten her things to color with, puzzles and books but she is still insistent on watching TV and even needs it to fall asleep! I've brought this up with DH and he agreed that starting next week bedtime is going to change by just having some soft music on. When my LO is born I definitely want to start limiting him on TV early on to make it easier.

IrishPiratess · June 2013

I think what you're doing is grand!

SO and I only watch TV about an hour a night, and that's only on nights when he's home and we're together (he works 7pm to 7am in the ER).

we currently rent the bottom level of a split level home, and the only reason we have cable is because it was already wired, and a huge (im talking 72") TV is down in our space. Before being at this house, neither of us had cable and the only reason we ever used a TV was to watch a DVD or play the occasional video game.

We plan to do the same with with our LO once it gets here. We're going to limit how much time, and try to not as many days as possible without it.

jeapplegate · June 2013

Nothing you are doing is weird, you are actually just following current American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). I had to have the same battle with my mom. She was trying to sneak watch Dora the explorer when M was 9 mo old. The most absurd part about it is that my mom has a degree in early childhood education and used to teach! She should know better. I find it helpful to just let people know it's not up for discussion. She is my child, I'm making educated decisions and I don't need their input. If you feel like it would help to offer them info, I would just give them something from AAP.

jeb2013 · June 2013

As much as I love my tv and cable and as much as I hated that my parent use to limit my tv and tv shows and we don't have cable til I was 10! I heard the same about even the tv being on in the background can affect the baby or child. I really would like to keep tv away from my little girl for as long as I can and then when she starts asking have a limit!!! Swore I would never do what my parents did to me but as I see kids these days glued to electronics and no sense of imagination!!!! It sickens me! My friend and father in law disagree and said tv is a great babysitter.... Well as a babysitter my whole life so is a box and so is a box of tissues. Keeps them very busy!

EOB584 · June 2013

I do think to each their own when it comes to tv. DH and I watch plenty of tv, we have shows we like but most are reruns now. DD has watched tv since she was pretty young. I do limit what she watches and how much. Normally she has tv time in the morning while I am getting ready for the day and she eats breakfast. There are plenty if times she leaves the room and has no interest in watching. I make sure we have plenty of other non tv activities during the day and normally the tv isn't on for the afternoon. I am amazed by what she has learned from educational tv shows though! TV was my saving grace when I was sick and tired during the first tri, I felt bad about how much I relied on it but you do what you have to sometimes.
I'm sorry your family doesn't respect your parenting choices and pushes tv on you so much. It sounds like you're a great parent and you are doing what is best for your kids. And there really isn't anything wrong with kids not knowing who certain cartoon characters are, I don't think their friends will make fun of them in school or anything.

aschnee · June 2013

Thank you everyone for your thoughts! I think this has been an interesting thread! Thank you for helping me see that not everyone is as crazy about TV as my family appears to be!

aschnee · June 2013

CurlingRocks:
My first question is why you care whether someone else lets their kid watch TV or not, but you mostly just seem frustrated that others are judging you for your kid's viewing habits. We let DS watch TV, not a ton, but he really loves a couple shows, so he watches them as a treat. (By treat I mean it is a part of his day--most days--that he looks forward to, not something he only does on occasion.) We balance with lots of other activities that are also good for him, so I don't see it as a problem. All things in moderation. It wouldn't be good for him to only read books or only play outside either.
OP, own your decision. I'm sure you're doing an excellent job raising your LO.

Umm... thanks? I don't think I ever said anything about caring whether someone else lets their kid watch TV...the entire post was about my kid and why my family is so crazy about TV. My decision is owned...this is how I feel and I'm sticking by it. I'm not wavering based on my family, I just don't see why they feel that its so important and are trying to push it on me. Just seeing if anyone had any insight into this.

psychgirl33 · June 2013

Don't let them get to you! You are the parents and you need to make that choice. FWIW, I'm with you. There is a significant amount of neurological research that shows that viewing television/computers/games at a young age changes brain waves. Regardless of content. And there is a good bit of research showing a link between television being on in the background and speech delay. But before anyone gets up in arms or takes it personally, I'm not saying every child has a problem from it, just that there is a statistical link.

We have a television, but it spends most of its time unplugged. We do not have cable or any TV service, just access to our HULU and Amazon Prime stuff. My DD is almost 15 months and has never sat down and watched a TV show. We don't stop her from seeing TVs that are on when we are out, but we do face her away from them if we are eating out. Because that is important to us. I get that it's not important to other people, and unless your kid watches TV all day, I'm sure there is nothing wrong with it.

Bellodomani · June 2013

We didn't have a TV when I was growing up, and I think it prompted my siblings and I to become resourceful and creative kids who were really good at entertaining ourselves. My husband teases me sometimes about all the cultural references to Nickelodeon shows that I don't understand, but I haven't been scarred by the experience

bookworm982 · June 2013

We sold our television while I was pregnant with DD. Like you, we didn't want our kids watching much tv, and we wanted productive/interactive evenings once they were in bed. That was one of the best decisions we ever made as a family. I'm amazed how many people tell us that they should do the same thing when they find out.

RunningGal900 · June 2013

I think it's stupid to insist a kid needs to watch tv. I let my 26 month old watch tv when I need to cook, shower or quite frankly need a break. He doesn't need it, I do. He doesn't watch a ton, but he has a few shows he likes and likes the characters from. I am surprised when he learns things from tv, but I view that as a bonus, not a necessity.

leece21 · June 2013

I am not a huge fan of TV. I didn't own one for 9 years and then I married a man with a large flat screen. One of the things I have put my foot down about TV is there will NEVER be tvs in the bedrooms and TV is off during dinner.

3 1/2 yo is allowed 1 30 minute educational program in the morning (when I am not ready to get out of bed) and 1 in the evening while I make dinner. Having said that my inlaws are not active, motivated people so I know when they watch him the tv will be on. I have put my foot down about certain programs and even my 3yo know he is not allowed to watch things like sponge bob or phines and ferb (or whatever). If it doesn't have some sort of value there is no point in watching it.

For my family it feels like this is something we re-evaluate on a regular basis. I would choose to get rid of the TV all together but my DH really does need the news and motorcycle races for his motorcycle shop. SO we have been recently talking about going down to the uber basic cable and paying for the races as he needs them.

Pattern · June 2013

My son does not watch tv...we just don't have it on when he is awake. He isn't missing anything. If you really want to chat with your family about it...you can let them know the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no tv until the age of two. They see you as weird because most people don't follow this recommendation.

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