TTC After a Loss

I could use an ear


I've been pretty good since the crazy lady on Tuesday but I could use an ear right now.
I have been doing really well with the loss up until last night. When I was driving home I was, not literally, hit with a mack truck carrying boxes full of grief to ulgy cry town. I think part of it is lack of sleep and the other part is I realized I would have found out the baby's gender this week and it kills me a little.

Today I have to go in for what I hope will be my last beta draw but I get some lovely choices as to where I get to go. I can go to the clinic where we had the US that confirmed the loss, the clinic where I had my d and c, or lastly the clinic that had the crazy nurse who asked me if I was sure I had a mc. It's been about 7 weeks of draws and every Friday I get to pick, woo hoo.

Ugh at least I get a half day today so I can go home and take a nap. I also donated some money to tiny heartbeats which makes me feel a little better. I promise next time I will give you guys pics of yummy food next time I rant but I'm mobile now so I can't.



mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
 All AL welcome.


image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: I could use an ear

  • ((Hugs)) Im sorry you're having a rough time of things, it seems there's always something lurking to remind you of what you've lost. Take care of yourself!


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

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  • (((big hugs)))
    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • I'm so sorry that you're having a rough day.  And I know how having a crazy nurse just adds insult to injury.  Take good care of yourself when you get home today! Hugs!
    BFP#1 4/1/2013 - EDD 11/28/2013 - M/C 4/19/2013
    BFP#2 8/24/2013 - DS Born 4/20/2014

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sorry you are having a hard time....hopefully soon you will have a plan to move forward and will feel good about it. Grief does hit at random moments, and I've found if I'm tired I really can't cope and become a big sobbing mess. love of love and hugs!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic   image image

        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • (((hugs))). It may not make you feel better, but I visited ugly cry land lastnight too - wish we could have met up and hugged... I hope things get better GL today with the draw!

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

    imageimage image

    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • (((HUGS)))  Sorry you've had such a rough few days.  It is totally normal, but I know that doesn't make it hurt any less.  I really hope today is your last beta, and I know how much it sucks to have to keep going back to a place with such painful memories.  I hope your afternoon gets better and you do something nice for yourself!

    image
    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    TTC since March 2012 
    BFP #1 1/29/13, EDD 10/9/13 
    MMC discovered at 10 weeks (baby measured 9 weeks) D&C on 3/16/13 
    BFP #2  CP on 3/31/14
    BFP #3  8/11/14  EDD 4/22/14
  • (((huggs)))

    hope this is your last beta draw.  do something good for yourself today.  you deserve it.  im glad your donation made you feel a little better.  go home and enjoy your nap and start the weekend off right. 

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

  • Big hugs!! I would also have found out the gender this week too. Its crazy how each milestone is so hard. I'm sorry you are still having to pull betas. Big hugs to get through whichever clinic you choose.

    Donating to Tiny Heartbeats is awesome. I just learned about the org from Jordy on PgAL, and it sounds like an incredible organization. The kindness of strangers reminds me that this world can be good.
    TTC #1 as of Feb. 2013
    BFP on Mar. 4, 2013, DX with MMC (blighted ovum) at 8 weeks, D&C
    TTC again as of May 2013
    BFP on June 24, 2013, EED March 12, 2014
    Diagnosed with endometriosis, PCOS, heterozygous MTHFR and positive for ANA

    GROW BABY, GROW!
    BabyFruitTicker
  • Lots of ((((((Hugs)))))) Serenla.  We need to plan a Boston GTG soon!

    Me: 31 * DH: 33 * TTC since Sept 2012
    Hx of Pulmonary Embolisms, Right Sided Heart Failure and Nephrotic Syndrome 2001
    Dx w/ Hashimotos 1998 * Dx w/ Systemic Lupus 2005 * Dx w/ PCOS 2012
    Began working with RE Dec 2012February 2013: Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel  BFP # 1: 2/26/13 * EDD 11/9/13 * MMC at 7w5d -- 3/27/13 * D&C 3/28/13May 2013: Clomid 100mg + Ovidrel + PIO + Lovenox  BFP # 2: 6/6/13 * EDD 2/18/14 * MMC at 11w1d -- 7/31/13 * D&C 8/1/13RPL Testing & Karotyping was normal for both of usEmbryo testing was inconclusiveBenched July 2013- January 2014 due to Lupus FlareWTF appt 2/12/14IVF is OUT and Clomid + Ovidrel + Endometrium is in... AGAINBFP # 3: 2/28/14 * EDD: 11/12/14 * CP 3/1/14TTC on our own until April 2014*A persons a person no matter how small*
    My Ovulation Chart
    imageimage
    *All PgAL/PAL Welcome*


  • (BFP mentioned not mine.)

    I AM SO WITH YOU!!! Bad day for me too!!! 

    First of all I am so so sorry.  I have to say you are not alone.  I had my loss back in Feb.  I have been doing great, and we are TTC again since last month.  Well today, I broke down.  

    A friend of mine who has been great helping be through my loss via email, FB since she is an hour away also had a few losses so she can relate. One was after 1 trimester.  

    Well she just emailed me today to tell me her surprise.  She is 14 weeks.  I am so happy for her but I figured it out and she got pregnant a week after I had my loss.  I am so upset. I have been crying for the past 1/2 hr.  I have been so good these past months and yesterday was the last day of school for the summer and we are TTC again this week.

    I am hanging out with the animals watching NCIS marathon since it is raining.  I so so know what you are going through.  I have not cried like this is so long, I thought that I would be ok.   I have also had a few other friends have babies the past few weeks and some are pregnant.  I feel like I cant get away from it.  

    I have been so good except today when this certain friend told me she was.  

    We will get there, I know we will.  Let me know if you need to vent some more, I will give you an ear or two!!! 

    image



    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image


  • imageSerenla:
    I've been pretty good since the crazy lady on Tuesday but I could use an ear right now.
    I have been doing really well with the loss up until last night. When I was driving home I was, not literally, hit with a mack truck carrying boxes full of grief to ulgy cry town. I think part of it is lack of sleep and the other part is I realized I would have found out the baby's gender this week and it kills me a little.

    Today I have to go in for what I hope will be my last beta draw but I get some lovely choices as to where I get to go. I can go to the clinic where we had the US that confirmed the loss, the clinic where I had my d and c, or lastly the clinic that had the crazy nurse who asked me if I was sure I had a mc. It's been about 7 weeks of draws and every Friday I get to pick, woo hoo.

    Ugh at least I get a half day today so I can go home and take a nap. I also donated some money to tiny heartbeats which makes me feel a little better. I promise next time I will give you guys pics of yummy food next time I rant but I'm mobile now so I can't.




    So many hugs for you right now!
  • Sending lots of *hugs* your way.  Have you thought about something fun you can do for you with your half day?

    BFP #1: EDD 12.28.12 - MC @ 6w3d | BFP #2: EDD 11.15.13 - D&C @ 12w4d
    BFP #3
    Superbaby born 4.5.14 | Just When You Least Expect It...
    image

  • imagePink021:
    HUGSP.S. your title made me think of Robinhood Men in Tights...nbsp;

    I might have been thinking of that when I was posting. Comedy makes me feel better and I love that movie!



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imageSandSunBliss:
    hugs. It may not make you feel better, but I visited ugly cry land lastnight too wish we could have met up and hugged... I hope things get better GL today with the draw!

    Meet up for ice cream and hugs. Sounds like a good time.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry you're having a rough day/couple of days. You are totally entitled to them. ((HUGS))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

  • imagehlmlvt:
    BFP mentioned not mine.I AM SO WITH YOU!!! Bad day for me too!!!nbsp;First of all I am so so sorry. nbsp;I have to say you are not alone. nbsp;I had my loss back in Feb. nbsp;I have been doing great, and we are TTC again since last month. nbsp;Well today, I broke down. nbsp;A friend of mine who has been great helping be through my loss via email, FB since she is an hour away also had a few losses so she can relate. One was after 1 trimester. nbsp;Well she just emailed me today to tell me her surprise. nbsp;She is 14 weeks. nbsp;I am so happy for her but I figured it out and she got pregnant a week after I had my loss. nbsp;I am so upset. I have been crying for the past 1/2 hr. nbsp;I have been so good these past months and yesterday was the last day of school for the summer and we are TTC again this week.I am hanging out with the animals watching NCIS marathon since it is raining. nbsp;I so so know what you are going through. nbsp;I have not cried like this is so long, I thought that I would be ok. nbsp; I have also had a few other friends have babies the past few weeks and some are pregnant. nbsp;I feel like I cant get away from it. nbsp;I have been so good except today when this certain friend told me she was. nbsp;We will get there, I know we will. nbsp;Let me know if you need to vent some more, I will give you an ear or two!!!nbsp;

    Oh hun I'm sorry big ::hugs:: for you as well. I'm at the clinic now but an NCIS marathon sounds like a good idea. Who is your favourite character?



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I had the same feelings yesterday. It was the 2 month anniversary of our loss and I should have also found out the gender this week. I just kept thinking if how pregnant I should be, not trying to get pregnant. I'm sorry you had a bad day. Hugs!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickersImage and video hosting by TinyPic

    ~Amanda
    All are welcome in my posts

  • Big (((hugs))). Those Mack truck days are the worst. Try to do something extra special for yourself this weekend, okay?
    Me: 36 yo, TTC #1 since Feb. 2012
    BFP #1, 3/12, EDD 11/9/12, MMC 3/27/12, D&C 4/10/12

    BFP #2: 11/16/12, EDD 7/25/13, MMC 12/5/12, D&C 12/6/12, Complete molar pregnancy confirmed 2/9/13, benched for 6 months until  August 2013

    IUI #1, 8/16/13 Femara + Menopur, 3 mature follicles, BFN
    IUI #2 (back-to-back, 9/12/13 and 9/13/13) Femara + Menopur, four mature follicles, BFFN
    IUI #3, 10/8/13 Femara + Menopur, six mature follicles, BFN

    BFP #3, 12/9/2013, while on treatment break, EDD: 8/22/2014  Please stick and grow, LO!

    Additional Dx: hypothyroidism, TgAb positive & anti-TPO positive, POR/DOR (2/2013), and suspected endometriosis

    ******All AL always welcome******
    image

  • Thank you thank you thank you ladies. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't know about this community.

    I went to my draw and for the first time the nurse looked me in the eye and told me she was sorry for my loss, that helped but I almost lost it there. ::hugs:: thanks for the well wishes and hugs, I'm going to the bank and then pass out when I get home. Wooo what a wild child I am.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • So sorry you are going through this!! Hopefully your beta draw will go smooth! *HUGS*


    image    image   image

    image
    BFP#1 2/5/13 - EDD 10/11/13 - MMC@8wks - D&C 3/7/13
    BFP#2 7/10/13 - EDD 3/21/14- Eli's Here!!
    imageimageimageimage

    image
    ~*~All AL Welcome~*~


    FOR A GOOD TIME: ****/post/150810/thread

  • ((hugs)) That's so hard. I hated going back for beta draws. It was so annoying to have to see all the pregnant women. Hope your numbers are low enough that you can be done with this mess.
                               
                  
                 BFP#1  9/5/12, MMC, MC confirmed 10/9/12,          
                D&C 12/12/12
    BFP#2 7/30/13, EDD 4/12/14, DS born 4/14/14
                                                                             
                                                                            
                                imageimage

                                                   Image and video hosting by TinyPic 

                                                      
  • I'm giving you both of my ears, and a few more. I'm sorry you're having such a rough day. Some days are harder than others, for sure. Feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it. (((HUGS))) to you!

    imageimage" mce_src="image"> 



     







     
              
    Lilypie - (tQ1Y)






    Lilypie - (Rgc4)

    Daisypath - (bXqd)


    Natural miscarriage @ 8 weeks - 3/8/2005
    Big Brother "Skippy" born - 2/28/2007
    Missed miscarriage - (EDD 3/5/2013) - D&E @ 11 weeks - 8/8/2012
    "Hen" (EDD 6/7/2013) - born sleeping @ 19 weeks - 1/15/2013
    "G-Unit" born - 4/14/2014 and he's 100% perfection!!
  • Thanks again ladies, you're so awesome.

    image 




    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagehooligans4:

    (((huggs)))

    hope this is your last beta draw.  do something good for yourself today.  you deserve it.  im glad your donation made you feel a little better.  go home and enjoy your nap and start the weekend off right. 

     

    All this and extra (((HUGS)))

    Pinterest
    My Blog- Life With a Toddler
    Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BFP#2 12/2/12 EDD 8/26/13; No heartbeat at 6w6d on 1/4/13; D&C 1/5/13
    My Ovulation Chart
    PgAL/PAL Always Welcome
    image
  • imageSerenla:
    imagehlmlvt:
    BFP mentioned not mine.I AM SO WITH YOU!!! Bad day for me too!!!nbsp;First of all I am so so sorry. nbsp;I have to say you are not alone. nbsp;I had my loss back in Feb. nbsp;I have been doing great, and we are TTC again since last month. nbsp;Well today, I broke down. nbsp;A friend of mine who has been great helping be through my loss via email, FB since she is an hour away also had a few losses so she can relate. One was after 1 trimester. nbsp;Well she just emailed me today to tell me her surprise. nbsp;She is 14 weeks. nbsp;I am so happy for her but I figured it out and she got pregnant a week after I had my loss. nbsp;I am so upset. I have been crying for the past 1/2 hr. nbsp;I have been so good these past months and yesterday was the last day of school for the summer and we are TTC again this week.I am hanging out with the animals watching NCIS marathon since it is raining. nbsp;I so so know what you are going through. nbsp;I have not cried like this is so long, I thought that I would be ok. nbsp; I have also had a few other friends have babies the past few weeks and some are pregnant. nbsp;I feel like I cant get away from it. nbsp;I have been so good except today when this certain friend told me she was. nbsp;We will get there, I know we will. nbsp;Let me know if you need to vent some more, I will give you an ear or two!!!nbsp;

    Oh hun I'm sorry big ::hugs:: for you as well. I'm at the clinic now but an NCIS marathon sounds like a good idea. Who is your favourite character?

    Oh man that is tough. Love Gibbs and all of them. Love Abby and McGee. Oh Tony!!! Zeva. So hard. Lol
    image



    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image


  • jap618jap618 member
    HUGS!!  I'm sorry you're having such a hard time!
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink
    --AL always welcome--
        image  
  • *hugs*
    image★´¯`•.¸¸.°¤TTCAL/PGAL/PAL Welcome,imageare not¤°.¸¸.•´¯`★image
    imageimageimage


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
    TTC Since September 2011
    BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
    BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
    BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
    BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
    BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
    pregnancy

  • Oh gosh! I am so sorry. You will have those days. Its totally normal to still grieve the loss. I have those days still (and its been 6 months). It's really hard for me sometimes because my due date would have been the same as Kim Kardashians, and lets just say, there's no way of getting away from that! UGH. don't be too hard on yourself, and find something enjoyable to do tonight.
    Nov 2, 12 BFP, MMC followed by DNC Dec 6, 12. At BabyFruit Ticker}
  • (((hugs)))
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