Chores and allowances

ambrvan · June 2013

I know this topic is often covered, and for the most part I have pretty much been set on my decision with SD. DH and I have always disagreed, though.

Lately though, SD is showing some major responsibility improvements, and I am reevaluating things.

Recently SD came to us with a large amount of money that we did nit realize she had. We knew she has been saving every bit she gets, but we did not realize for how long or how much it added up to. She had 185! She has been saving every penny from birthdays, Christmases, tooth fairy, etc for over two years. I was so proud of her. And she even counted it all correctly. Unbelievable for a recently turned 7yo!

Anyway, I have paid her small amounts in the past for choosing to help me with out of the ordinary things like pulling weeds. But she has never been paid for ordinary household chores.

Since money obviously seems to be a motivator for her, do you think it would be a good or bad idea to set up a chore chart in her room and give her a certain amount a week if she keeps up with it? I always believed that tying money to chores early on would create problems later about choosing whether or not to do the chore.

Also, if you think an allowance would be appropriate, what amount would you say is appropriate? I was think 3 a week. DH will probably say that is unacceptably low. But I say if I am paying it, I choose it. Also, what on earth does a 7yo need to rack up the dough like that for? Crazy!

Btw We let SD buy a tablet with her money she had saved. She got a nicer one than me, and she STILL has enough money for a case and some left over. But she is worrying over which case to buy because she doesn't want to spend too much of her money. Lol! I am so proud of her right now.

teacherjulie · June 2013

I am a lurker but recently saw on pinterest an idea where you post jobs in the house and a money amount tied to the job for example for washing the dishes for a week it is worth $5.00 just like a job and a paycheck. The child is able to pick the jobs they want to do.

Littlejen22 · June 2013

I have mostly seen a dollar per year per week but if not fifty cents per year per week so 3.50 for her. I think it is ok to tie extras to money but I would not tie l basic chores to money. Brides her later on not doing it for the money I think you also have an issue where what is the consequence of not cleaning her room? If she gets paid for it then I think the only consequence should be not getting paid but that leaves you either cleaning her for her or leaving it a mess and I have a feeling you are not ok with either of those.

Also remember that bring good with money at 7 is easier than at 17. I was awesome at saving as a kid but still racked up credit cards in college and am not perfect as an adult. I think earning and saving really need to be taught but I don't think the lesson is fully learned on little kids even if we think they are.

Now a huge reminder than I really need to start actual chores in my house because neither kid does them.

sabrina69barnes · June 2013

Is there anything else besides chores you would also like her to do? Our kids do chores and the jobs rotate each week. They don't get paid for chores. SD likes to read sometimes but the boys never showed much interest. I decided to start paying them for completed book reports on chapter books. They are spending a lot less time watching TV and playing video games, they now all like reading, and they will have extra money to spend at Disney.

ambrvan · June 2013

I think what I am most proud of her for as far as saving it this long is that she kept it up herself and did not lose it. She never asked us to hold on to it for her, and she remembered where it is was. That is a huge feat at 7. Lol. I know at 7, there is less to spend it on, but that is a LOT of money to keep up with for her. KWIM?

And yes, Littejen, her being ok with not getting paid later on and so choosing not to do the chore is what I have always been afraid of. So I think I am going to come up with a list of chores that we do around the house all week long, divide them up by daily and weekly. These are the routines that must be done no matter what. They must be done before you can pick a money earning chore . So maybe not a set amount per week. Maybe an amount per chore?

I am skimming Pinterest and looking for ideas to modify. If I ever actually get all this done, I will definitely post about it.

Wahoo · June 2013

I think $3 a week is fine for a 7 year old. What is she going to spend her money on if you give her more?

DD is 10 (almost 11) she gets $5 / week. She has chores she has to do to or money will be taken out of her allowence if I (or DH) does it. Making her bed, doing the recycling, helping to set the table. There are also extra chores she can help with.

Now if she goes to a street fair with a friend or out to lunch etc. she does not get any money from me / DH for food or whatever junk they are selling (we will still pay for tix at amusements since they are expensive and a rip-off IMO).

We are thinking of giving her a budget for her clothes in the fall - - I will still take her shopping, but if she wants to buy over her budget and get abercrombie, or wants more clothes - - she has to use saved up allowence.

Littlejen22 · June 2013

Wahoo:
I think 3 a week is fine for a 7 year old.nbsp; What is she going to spend her money on if you give her more?DD is 10nbsp;almost 11 she gets 5 / week.nbsp; She has chores she has to do tonbsp;or money will be taken out of her allowence if Inbsp;or DH does it.nbsp; Making her bed, doing the recycling, helping to set the table.nbsp; There are also extranbsp;chores she can help with.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;Now if she goes to a street fair with a friend or out to lunch etc. she does not get any money from me / DH for food or whatever junk theynbsp;are sellingnbsp;we will still pay for tix at amusements since they are expensive and a ripoff IMO.We are thinking of giving her a budget for her clothes in the fall I will still take hernbsp;shopping,nbsp;but if she wants tonbsp;buy over her budget and get abercrombie, or wants more clothes shenbsp;has to use saved up allowence.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;

I like the losing money for when they are old enough to really understand and 10 is probably good to start that.

KTdidit · June 2013

I'm sure I will be the odd one out but I don't plan on giving DS an allowance. Ever. I especially will not be paying him to do chores. That is expected of everyone in the family, you don't get to skate by without doing contributing. When I was a kid my "chores" were washing the dishes after dinner every night, cleaning up the yard from the dogs roughly weekly, and helping my mom clean the house on Saturdays - usually sweeping, vacuuming and taking out the garbage.

I still got money for my birthday and holidays, if I wanted anything that my parents deemed unneccesary I would have to use that. I got my first job at 14 because I wanted things my parents wouldn't pay for.

FemShep · June 2013

DD is 8. For the past three years, she has received $1/year of age each week (so she now receives $8/week). She has specific chores she is expected to do (feed the pets, empty trash each week, etc) and is also expected to do other help around the house as requested.

We don't tie the allowance to specific chores. We give her money each week because she is a member of our family. We also expect her to help around the house, both with her regular tasks and as needed (like helping to empty the dishwasher) because she is a member of the family and families help each other.

The few times she's balked at helping with a task, usually because she's in the middle of something else, I ask her how she wants me to respond the next time she asks for help. That seems to motivate her pretty quickly.

nikit23 · June 2013

Spooko:
We have certain chores that are expectations, and additional chores are paid. That way we cover both the part of the family/helping aspect, as well as the money/job side of things.

This is what we do too. You don't get rewarded for keeping your room clean, for example - that's an expectation. But other things that help the whole family are reward-worthy.

MommyEllenSue · June 2013

We have chore boards for SD6 and SS6. They have to do all the chores on their board and do them right. I do take in to account that they are only 6 and realize chores will not be done perfectly. If they complete all of their chores then they get 1 if they don't they get nothing. If they have helped work a lot outside or doing something more then we give them a little bit more.

Alohalove · June 2013

That's such a tough one. To me, there are two things going on with chores and allowance. The everyday/regular chores have nothing to do with money. Those chores are done because they are a part of the household and we all have to do our share.

We give an allowance because we feel that they need to learn how to manage money. The 17-yr old just opened a bank account with a debit card. He is learning to balance an account. His allowance is put into that account. The 11-yr old gets cash. They are expected to pay for some of the extras they want with allowance money.

I personally have a hard time with money. I wish my parents would have given me a regular allowance at a young age to learn the idea that you spend some and save some. You save for both short term and long term things.

ambrvan · June 2013

kaholland4:
I'm sure I will be the odd one out but I don't plan on giving DS an allowance. Ever. I especially will not be paying him to do chores. That is expected of everyone in the family, you don't get to skate by without doing contributing. When I was a kid my "chores" were washing the dishes after dinner every night, cleaning up the yard from the dogs roughly weekly, and helping my mom clean the house on Saturdaysnbsp;nbsp;usually sweeping, vacuuming and taking out the garbage.
I still got money for my birthday and holidays, if I wanted anything that my parents deemed unneccesary I would have to use that. I got my first job at 14 because I wanted things my parents wouldn't pay for.

Honestly, I was raised this way, and I never in my dreams thought I would he debating on this. My mind has been made up in agreement with you since before I ever had kids.

This dilemma has only recently come to my mind since SD is showing so much responsibility in other areas right now. And the money saviglng was just one example. She has honestly suddenly really done so much to make me stand back and say how proud I am of her.

I am only thinking of an allowance because apparently money seems to be a big motivator for her. So many people already buy things for her all the time, so I really don't want to buy anything she doesn't need. And don't take that the wrong way. I just would rather her buy it herself. She already has Nana throwing gifts at her all the time.

I absolutely agree that chores must be done without feeling that you deserve money for them. But... I think there has to be a way for me to determine what is important enough in my household to put on a daily routine list, and then there are a few things that need to be done but are out if the ordinary for the kids to do that might warrant an extra reward, i.e. allowance. Am I making sense at all? But considering I am one of those people who needs to make sure everything is done right away so it would be hard to split chores up into musts and extras...

Another reason this is becoming a dilemma in my head is because DH and I disagree on it. And this is one issue where I am the one not compromising. I cannot complain that he won't compromise, if I won't. And this is one issue, also, where he is letting me take the lead. I think I need to take his views on it into account, and he thinks SD needs an allowance. So... there we go.

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