Another month, another failed IUI... (long)

KH826 · June 2013

Sorry for the depressing subject line... and depressing post to follow... I was going to wait until Monday at the TTC check in to update on this cycle, but I am feeling sad and needed to vent.

So, today is CD1 for me again... my period was actually 2 days late this month, and we were holding out to test and feeling really, really positive. I had pretty much convinced myself by lunch time yesterday that I was pregnant. We had planned to test this morning, and I was already thinking about the romantic celebratory dinner at an Italian restaurant that we really like that we would have tonight... well, my period showed up at 3am today. Gushing (sorry, TMI), but seriously - this is the most monsterous period I have ever had. I feel like I am doubled over from cramps too this morning. I am just trying to push through and not think about horrible this all feels. I cried in the shower and on my way to work this morning. I am trying to shake it off now though.

So, here's what's next... I called and left a mesage for my Dr this AM and I am waiting for a call back. I am going to ask her to increase my dose of Femara from 2.5mg to 5mg, and I am going to ask about taking it for CD3-7 instead of CD4-8, since last month my cycle seemed to have been slowed by several days and it took the follicles longer to mature when I took it on CD4-8. I don't know if that will make a difference, but I am going to ask.

We are also going to pick a new donor this weekend. We had only ordered 3 vials to start, so we don't have any left. We have decided to switch donors now and order 3 more vials.

So, I am sad that the first 3 attempts didn't work.
I am sad that we are having to pick a new donor.
I am sad that my wife is sad.
I am sad that it feels like I have no control over this process.
BUT, I am thankful that we are going to keep pushing forward, because I want this family so badly, and we will make it happen... at some point...

OK, that's all. Thanks for indulging my need to vent. Happy Friday everyone!

Twinkler2011 · June 2013

I'm sorry to read your post & sad for you. It wasn't that long ago that we were in your shoes. We had to switch donors 3 times and finally have our miracle on lucky #7. Keep your chin up and keep pressing toward your future family.

It gets extremely hard to handle sometimes and everyone needs to vent. Do it here, we know what your going through!

Enjoy your weekend, and maybe even a glass of wine

A

mollykelley · June 2013

I am so sorry you had another BFN. This can be so discouraging. I know what it is like to believe you are having symptoms after a perfect IUI with excellent timing (so they say), a beautiful lining, mature follicles, and high hopes. It is such a blow.

The only good thing about CD1 is that it starts all over again, and you get to make a plan for next steps... Wishing you all the best, and take good care of yourself this weekend!

healz413 · June 2013

I'm so sorry to hear this. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I know that sadness. It is horrible.

For our four IUIs so far, we always tested by day 12 post IUI. I know a lot of people swear by not testing, but in my opinion that only is a good thing when the result is a BFP. For the BFNs, it sucks horribly to find out any way--from a pee stick, from a beta, or a from a period. Each of us chooses what sucks the least for us, or what we think sucks the least. But your way of finding out--in the middle of the night with a gushing, late period--seems especially heartbreaking.

I hope switching donors and going again works for you. In the mean time, I'm sending you and your wife lots of supportive thoughts and feelings.

shelly2314 · June 2013

I'm sorry to hear that but glad you can vent here!!!

I agree with the others, at least you can move forward, albeit with a hard pill to swallow. Not sure if I will be so + if I get a BFN!

KH826 · June 2013

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all of your supportive thoughts. I am starting to feel a little better emotionally... trying to focus on what is next. Physically, I feel quite awful. I cannot remember a period like this in recent memory - geez!

I think my wife is struggling today, but she is trying to keep it together for me, which I appreciate, but I don't want her to feel like she has to...

We will be fine, and will stay focused on the future. Just didn't think this would be difficult (who ever really does?), and starting to find out our journey is not meant to be a quick and easy one. That's OK though - quick and easy is overrated!

lbugher · June 2013

So sorry to hear this

I haven't had my first IUI yet (I'm seeing an RE in July and tracking my ovulation for now) so I haven't had to deal with any BFNs (or BFPs for that matter)... Sending baby dust for attempt number 4! Maybe changing donors will help. I've heard of others having success after switching donors. Good luck and hang in there! My doctor said it usually takes 3-6 tries (though obviously some are lucky and get pregnant quicker than that).

firstcomeslove2013 · June 2013

I'm sorry to hear this. We are in the same boat. AF came this morning and I am crushed. I feel like I'm letting C down and it has been such a disappointing ride. I was so sure this time was it.

I hope we both have better luck next time.

mollykelley · June 2013

lbugher:
My doctor said it usually takes 3-6 tries.

This. And my doctor constantly reminded me how long it takes straight couples to get pregnant - they can't even see specialists until they have been trying for a year.

My straight friends who have been trying for almost that long complain about each month's BFN, and I know how it feels. It is more pronounced and tedious though when you have to be in the doctor's office nearly every two weeks!

Courage! Keep going!

KH826 · June 2013

firstcomeslove2013:
I hope we both have better luck next time.

I hope we do too! I am so sorry to hear that we are in the same boat, but maybe since we seem to be on the same schedule, we will be TWW buddies again for the next cycle!

candimc26 · June 2013

Oh no! I have been checking the bump daily in the hopes of good news from you... I was thinking that good news spreads and I would get pregnant if you did too (I have yet to test)! So sorry about the BFN. I'm wondering if your late/horrible period is actually what they call a "chemical pregnancy," basically an unsuccessful pregnancy that wouldn't even be known unless you got a BFP right before your period. I just try to tell myself that another month is another month of information about my cycle, which ups the odds of pregnancy the next time. Right?!

weyojo · June 2013

Our 4th try was with a new donor and it worked! I'm 5 weeks along, but even though its still early, it's a relief to know that it's possible!!

It will happen!

firstcomeslove2013 · June 2013

KH826:
firstcomeslove2013:
I hope we both have better luck next time.
I hope we do too! I am so sorry to hear that we are in the same boat, but maybe since we seem to be on the same schedule, we will be TWW buddies again for the next cycle!

Although I am not happy we are both at it again, I am looking forward to hopefully being TWW buddies with you again.

laynesmomma · June 2013

So sorry! If it helps any, 3 days passed our BFN and it is a relief to have a break from the horrid 2 week wait. After 7 failed IUIs, we are moving to fresh donor which I said I would never do. Hang in there and good luck!!!

ball.and.chain · June 2013

mollykelley:
lbugher:
My doctor said it usually takes 3-6 tries.
This. And my doctor constantly reminded me how long it takes straight couples to get pregnant - they can't even see specialists until they have been trying for a year.

All of this. KH, I could have totally written the same post you wrote after my 3rd IUI -- and probably did, in fact. It is such a frustrating process. But I used to spend time on the TTGP board which, while it can be an annoying and b!tchy board, helped remind me that 3 tries is NOT a lot of attempts to get pregnant. It's really rare that it happens that fast, and although what we have to go through is a lot more intense than just having sex, it doesn't mean anything is wrong or that it won't happen soon or that you have anything to worry about it. It just means you're not a one-hit wonder. Although I wouldn't wish my journey on anyone, I do think it's given me perspective I wouldn't have had otherwise on the process, my marriage, and how much we want children. Which is not to say that people who get pregnant easily don't want their kids as much or don't have perspective, but I am a different person than I was 2 years ago and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I will never say "it will happen for you eventually" because for some people, it really never does. But the reality is that it DOES happen eventually for most of us...even many of the sad cases. Keep on hoping and taking care of yourself and your wife and do your best to stay positive (advice I was never good at taking myself). And don't worry about leaning on us for support...many of us have been through a lot and we're all sympathetic and happy to support you!

P.S. I love your wedding dress!

Jazibel · June 2013

So sorry you got this sad and diss appointing news today. TTC is such an emotional roller coaster - I hope switching to a new donor does the trick and that your next TWW ends in a BFP!!

KH826 · June 2013

ball.and.chain:
...many of us have been through a lot and we're all sympathetic and happy to support you!
P.S. I love your wedding dress!

Thank you! The understanding and support of the folks on this board is just amazing. I see how much so many here have been through, and I am thankful for the opportunity to learn from so many brave, strong women with stories to share.

Scarlett1108 · June 2013

Hi, I don't really know your history or what exactly has gone wrong, but is you dr tweaking anything with subsequent cycles? We tried for two years with perfect blasts each time and nothing until we switched to pio shots, lovenox, crinone and estrace 4x per day. Just a thought. I've been there and know the feeling and hopefully it won't be much longer.

FriendinMoscow · June 2013

Sorry to hear about your sadness and can totally empathize. I remember feeling that exact same way. Don't give up. If you really want it it will happen for you. We did five failed iui then got preg with the first ivf but had a miscarriage. Now I'm pregnant with twins and crying because I throw up so much, but I remember crying when I got those ridiculous medicated flows after a failed iui.I cried so much. It will happen for you.

FriendinMoscow · June 2013

Oh, and switching to a new doctor totally did the trick for us!!!

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