High maintenance/picky baby??

MaggieF516 · June 2013

I was just wondering if anyone else felt that there baby was extremely high maintenance or just very picky? Yes, I know all babies are a lot of work, but I feel my son can be really difficult in a lot of areas and although I don't have much interaction with other babies and I never have, it just seems that others are more "laidback" about things.

For example:

1) He refuses to EVER take a bottle except from his grandmother who watches him while I am at work. This is my biggest frustration as I want to end BF at a year, but he will not even take one sip from it with me or DH.

2) It was a huge struggle to get him to eat formula, months of mixing both together.

3) Much like a bottle, he will not even let a sippy cup touch his lips. He turns his head and pushes it away and is now shaking his head "No" when he doesn't want to do something. He will only drink from an actual cup (this creates a HUGE mess and he often chokes) I hold for him or from a water bottle. I see much younger babies actively using sippy cups.

4) For the last month, he has been spitting out all food except for banana puree, yogurt, bread and puffs. He learned if he doesn't like it, it can come out easily!

5) He basically refuses to sit in a highchair for more than a few minutes. I have to take him out and hold him or he fusses, cries, etc. He also throws a fit when I try to put him in it.

6) He refuses to stay on his back to be changed but will start crying and trying to flip to his stomach and crawl. I am now changing him while he is basically crawling around to avoid the crying fit.

7) He won't stay in his pack n play with toys for more than maybe 10 minutes and often times he throws a fit just going in there. I hear all these stories about how mothers "Just throw them in the Pack N Play" and can do all these things, but this has NEVER worked for me as he will quickly escalate to a crying fit.

Just wondering if anyone else is experiencing some of these things or feels that their baby just seems to be a lot more work than other babies? He is a very smart, curious, talkative, etc. little guy and he did just start sleeping through the night, he just seems SO picky and a bit high maintenance even for a baby LOL??

khill86 · June 2013

DS is super laid back and very flexible but we still deal with the diaper issue and have been since Ds started crawling at 6 months. It's only gotten worse now that he's walking FT.

DS won't go in a PNP at all. He'll climb around in one if I'm right there, but as soon as he realizes he's stuck in there so I can do something else, he loses it. We don't use one or have one set up at home, though. This is based on a couple of experiences at MIL's and a friend's house. I just make sure everything is baby proofed and safe and let him go while I do quick chores.

JayandEmm · June 2013

I have a very high needs baby. I like to refer to him as "spirited". He does not like to be contained in any way; no crib, pnp, etc. He does not and has never liked bottles, same goes with sippys; although, he will take a cup awesomely if I guide it. He also hates being spoon fed, and most puree foods, so he's always fed himself table food. His crying escalates quickly to hyperventilating and vomiting, so I try to avoid that; he does STTN, so we bedshare out of desperation, and he nurses typically for most of the night.

He is good about entertaining himself though, I just make sure the area is safe and let him free roam.

danieliza1127 · June 2013

My LO is pretty easy going but your #5, 6, and 7 all sound normal to me. I usually hand my LO some puffs or cheerios to eat while I sit him in his chair, that way he gets distracted by eating those and I can get him strapped in and put more on the tray right away and avoid the crying. Once he's there with something to eat he's fine. As far as the diaper changes, totally normal for a mobile baby. At night and first thing in the morning is basically the only time he stays pretty still for me. And the pack n play thing, that sounds normal to me too. I don't put my LO in the PnP, I just have our living room babyproofed enough that he can crawl around and not get into anything. If you have to use the PnP though, like to take a shower or leave the room or whatever, just keep trying it in small increments and hopefully he'll get used to it.

danieliza1127 · June 2013

Oh and your #1 is pretty common for breast fed babies.

DiveFrog · June 2013

DD is essentially the same way except for food which she adores. She will scream bloddy murder if I try and put her a PNP or Crib with some toys. She basically screams bloddy murder if I leave the room to use the bathroom and leave her with DH or a grandparent.

She will take a bottle or sippy, but flat out refuses to hold it by herself. We know she is capable we have seen her do it many times for 30sec-1minute...but then cries/screams/drops or throws the bottle or sippy if we don't hold it for her.

Diaper changes are a nightmare...I depend on distracting her with objects like the lotion bottle, or my phone etc....but it is still a fight every single time for changing diaper or clothes.

I have classified DD as a high needs baby from the beginning. Google high needs baby and read about them...that has been my DD to a tee. I have always tried to focus on the positive; she has always been very good at comminucating her needs. Her needs are just MORE than most babies.

emberlee3 · June 2013

That all sounds like both my kids.

DD has always been very particular and only takes bottles from me, nanny, and DH (she is FF). DS was BF and never liked formula; I had to sneak in a tiny bit to daycare bottles to top them off, but he never drank it straight.

DD will only drink ice water from a sippy. Your kid will get the hang of a cup with practice.

One year olds like to have the control with feeding. DD has never let me feed her; we do BLW and she feeds herself. DS stopped letting me feed him when he was 11 months. Usually they go crazy for whatever you are eating, so just offer some of that. Try sitting him in a booster seat at the table if he doesn't like the highchair. Or get him his own little table. We have one in our dining room and DS used it for years.

Changing DD's diaper is a total nightmare. Has been for at least 3 months.

The pack n'play thing--do people really do that? DD is good for 5 minutes, max. I only use it if I have to take something out of the oven or something dangerous like that.

cmrand4 · June 2013

you have just described my DS2 to a T. He knows exactly what he likes/dislikes and will always let you know. My mom always comments that she doesn't understand why he's like this because I was an easy going baby. I'm still waiting for that "easy" baby but it's an oxymoron to me. Hang in there--while it does get easier, my DS1 didn't get to the smooth-easy-to-be-with stage until recently. It took a lot of patience and consistency with timeouts around age 3 for us to get to the smooth part. I not realize after being a parent for nearly 4 years that parenting is A LOT tougher than it looks. Some people make it look easy but for me it takes hard work. GL!

UMichGirl · June 2013

DS will be a year old at the end of the month and he is INCREDIBLY high maintenance/picky/fussy/whiny/whatever you want to call it. Granted he is very inquisitive, smart (at least we think so, lol!), lovable, etc...but the kid is the opposite of easy-going, and if he doesn't like something even in the slightest he lets you know about it. He has quite a temper and it makes me so terrified of the "terrible twos"!! He hates being strapped in to anything--high chair, car seat. Car rides are MISERABLE. He screams as soon as he sees the car seat (we are on our second one thinking maybe it was the seat itself he didn't like) and throws a fit in the car. Can't wait to drive five hours up north on vacation this summer. Indifferent There are some nights where we swear he has just thrown a giant temper tantrum all day long. One night he may chow down on chicken, peas, and potatoes, and the next night we give him the EXACT same thing and he throws it off his tray. Diaper changes are a nightmare because he hates being laid down now. Lots of crying and screaming are involved in diaper changes right now. He refuses to hold his bottle (but we know he CAN, he just doesn't--he holds his sippy just fine). He has to be constantly entertained--nothing holds his attention for more than a few minutes and he is ALWAYS on the move. The kid does NOT sit still!

I just keep telling myself that one day he'll calm down and I'll be able to breathe again! Tongue Tied

traveltheworld · June 2013

I wouldn't say DS is high-maintenance but he is very picky about certain things. He will only take a bottle from me, and only if I sit in a specific way and sit him in a specific way. He refuses to hold the bottle but the moment he is done, he'll grab it and throw it across the room. Diaper changes are a complete nightmare - even his DC teachers are surprised at how much he struggles. They always change him on the floor now because he struggles so much that they worry that he'll fall off the change table, even with the safety strap on. I've cried out of frustration on numerous occasions because I can't for the life of me get a diaper on him. DH and I always try to change him together; if I'm by myself, I've now resorted to pinning him down with my knee.

DS also CANNOT be hungry without having food and CANNOT have a dirty diaper. If he is hungry or has a dirty diaper and we don't feed/change him within 5 minutes of when he starts whining, he gets into these screaming fits that can last for 30 - 45 minutes and get to a point where he will throw up because he has gotten himself so worked up.

SunAndRain · June 2013

I'm not sure if this is the right thing for your son but there are times when we allow our DD to cry. Obviously not if she is dirty, hungry, hurt, sick, etc. But if I need to get dressed then I'll put her in the PNP. She will cry but she is safe, she has toys, and she is just pissed. It is OK for her to be mad. But she has to be patient while mom gets dressed. She usually stops midway through but will start and stop when she sees me.

I would keep trying different foods. Never know when one days he'll just accept them.

DD doesn't care for straw or sippy cups. We just keep trying. Each time it seems she does a tiny bit better with them. But she won't drink more than a couple ounces per day from her straw cup.

I'm sort of with your DS on the dirty diaper. I'm not sure if you mean that you know he has a dirty diaper but don't change him right away or that sometimes you don't notice right away. I'm guess the latter because there are certainly times that we don't notice right away.

As for diaper changing resistance, I can usually get DD laughing by kissing her belly or distract her by singing or giving her something to hold on to.

I just think at this point it is all about distraction but I'm also trying NOT to give in to DD all the time when she cries. She is at that age when she is learning to protest and has her own wants. Bets she learn now that crying for anything other than a legitimate reason (hurt, sick, etc) isn't going to get her the result she is after.

&orchid& · June 2013

I thought my baby was laid back, but does most of these things.

He's getting more and more high maintenance as he gets older. I think it's just that he's getting older. He wants to be independent and yet still more needy at the same time.

1. My baby has still refused a bottle from everybody. I finally found the Calma nipple and he would take that sometimes from his father, but not enough for me to feel ok leaving more than a couple hours.

2. No formula until about a month ago. He wouldn't even do 50/50 BM mix. What did I do? Mixed his favorite fruit (banana) in with formula and put over ice. Suddenly not only did he take the formula, but he threw back the sipply cup he "couldn't" use and fed himself.

3. Ditto that until the banana idea above.

4. Not yet. He eats like a champ so far, but I also have not introduced bread, puffs and other junk foods. He eats veggies, meat, cheese, yogurt and fruit.

5. He'll sit in a high chair while I'm feeding him, but doesn't want to linger. Most of the time to get him in it, I have to spread his feet while he's holding on to me for dear life as if I'm getting ready to feed him to an alligator. He does this with the carseat too. 10 minutes is about his max on anything that holds him (pack n play, high chair, jumperoo, bumbo seat etc.) and typically it's closer to 5 minutes. Just long enough to let me use the restroom or run down to the basement.

6. I've begun changing him in any direction he's in. Sometimes it may take 5 minutes to get both sides attached but distraction with a new fun toy helps. By toy I mean something that I wouldn't normally let him play with unless I was right there watching him.

7. Same as #5. He gets bored with most toys after a few minutes. I rotate them out. Recently I've gotten most out of a Sit and Stand Train that makes all these noises. Also, I'll throw him down a lemon (uncut and cleaned) or a spatula and I get 10 minutes out of those.

Good luck.. I think it's just normal stuff. At least that's what I thought. I take my kid out and about a few times a week because it seems to break up the monantany (SP?) of all the above. He seems better behaved in public (for now)

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