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I have been thinking...torn

kitara64kitara64 member
in Adoption
So, originally we were looking into adopting from China, which we probably still will eventually. I have also been thunking about domestic adoption but I am so scared of being scammed. The reason I have been thinking about domestic adoption is because I would like to breast feed. I want that bonding time and closeness....does that sound weird? Anyone have any experience in breast feeding their adopted child? I was initially kind of scared to bring it up because I dont know how "accepted" it is and I dont want to flam me for it...lol. I have looked online but I havent really found a whole lot about it. I am mainly interested in blogs or any advice. Thanks :
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Re: I have been thinking...torn

  • silliestbunnysilliestbunny member

    I think you'll find a lot of support for breastfeeding from the adoption community... but not as much support outside of it.  In fact I've heard of docs not supporting it w/their adoptive mom patients.

    That said, I would really push you to think about DA and IA outside of BFing... because there may be issues w/BFing.  A birth mom might not like the idea leaving you w/a difficult choice.  You might match a child that is a month old (not all DAs happen at birth) making it more difficult.  Or the your body might not produce milk like you'd like (I don't know  your back story.. maybe you have BF'd and are confident in your body's ability).

    My point is one you already know...   none of this is a for sure deal so make sure your choices align w/what makes sense overall for you :) 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
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  • kitara64kitara64 member
    Thank you so much for your response. I think you uave made some very valid points that I hadnt thought of. Thank you! Sorry for the typos....lol...im on my phone and my fingers are fatter than my keys!
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  • silliestbunnysilliestbunny member

    Having straddled that fence before... the IA vs DA choice... it's a hard one. 

    Even for our third, we were tempted with IA again.  Such hard choices.. both have risks and both have draws.  Good luck! 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
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  • kitara64kitara64 member
    It really is a super hard choice. When we first started looking into it, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Now that I have been educating myself, it is really confusing and it seems like I am stuck.
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  • kitara64kitara64 member
    Thank you so much spooko :)  I am very grateful for your insight and wisdom.  I never thought of the things that either of you put forth and it really gives me food for thought.  I know we bond with our children in all ways but I guess I was thinking that it would help bond us better.  I just want them to love me as much as I will them for it is my biggest fear that they will never bond with me.  Gah!  I sound like a nut job! 
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  • kitara64kitara64 member
    Haha, for sure!  Thank you so much :)
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  • kitara64kitara64 member
    Thank you so much :)  I didn't feel like you were trying to deter me...I felt like you were giving me an honest opinion (one I am grateful for at that).  I have never nursed before.  I have one child that is 8 and I didn't know the things then that I know now.  I would be brand new at bf and all of that was stuff that I needed to hear.
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