- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Special Needs
star1123
member
social anxiety?
star1123
member
I'm heading to the pedi next week for my son's 30 month appointment. My son has received speech therapy and special instruction since last summer. The special instruction came with the speech, as the county we live in provides it automatically when someone receives speech to ensure the child does not get delayed in other areas. He's doing SO much better speech wise and says full sentences now almost. Definitely three or four word sentences at times. Still a lot of two word phrases, but he has no problem communicating at all at this point. He is being dismissed by his spec instruction therapist next month because he's testing above average now and the speech therapist said she will probably have to dismiss him soon as well. We are thrilled by this.
The only real concern I have at this point is that he seems to have major anxiety when we go someplace he is unfamiliar with. He cries and really has a difficult time calming down and I notice it is a lot worse when we go inside someones house. It's like some places he doesn't feel safe or something. I could take him to any park, even one he never went to, and he would be totally fine. He loves the park and is familiar with what to do there. We go to stores he has been to and he's totally fine with that too. It seems like anyplace he doesn't know freaks him out and it is kind of extreme - or at least it seems so to me?
One example is we went to a birthday party and he got majorly upset. Was fine after a minute because we were playing outside and he found toys to play with. He tried even getting involved in a game of catch, but the kids were a lot older. Then we had to go inside to eat cake, and he didn't want to go in, cried, etc. He finally calmed down when we went into the house and noticed their big playroom. But then he refused to leave the playroom and literally nobody was in there but us so it was kind of awkward. Finally another little boy the same age came in to play with the toys and they played pretty well together. So, that part makes me feel better since he does seem to play well with other kids.
He even has a friend down the street, same age, who he plays with all of the time. He constantly asks about him, ask when he can play with him, etc. So it is like he does well socially, but gets major anxiety in unfamiliar places.
Has anyone gone through something similar? I want to talk to the pedi about it, and I do want to talk to his therapist a bit more and make sure there is nothing else going on before she dismisses him. Also, if anyone has any advice that would be awesome. Any strategies to help would be greatly appreciated.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: social anxiety?
It sounds a lot like anxiety with transition - as when he gets around/involved with others and toys he calms down.
DD has issues with inside/outside as well as other transitions. For her going outside or waiting to go outside rather is a meltdown at the door while I get my shoes on - she thinks we are not going when we are getting ready - so waiting turns into a 20 minute meltdown while she tries and calms when we are finally outside even. Going inside from out is even worse, more dramatic, flailing, dead weight, picking her up still flailing/biting/hitting/self-harm etc.
Her OT suggested "practing" going in and out the door like 50 times when I have the time to do so....in and out and in and out, open and close the door, with verbal cues and transition items (normal ones such as a drink inside, drink outside to begin) until she gets that going inside and outside even for breaks is alright without meltdowns every.single.time. I will probably do the same with in the car, out of the car as she (even at 2) does not get where we are going even when told (motor planning issue).
Hope that helps. Oh, and also many transition objects were suggested so she doesn't then get stuck on one thing.
I'll be interested to see the responses to this question. Maybe it is a 2.5 year old thing. My DD acts the exact same way and I could have written your post. She is fine we if go to a new restaurant, a new park, or a new playground. She completely freaks out if we take her to someone's house that isn't ours though. Everything upsets her and it is very hard to calm her down. She went through this last summer to a certain degree and after a month or two she got over it. This time it is worse and has lasted longer, but I am hopeful she will grow out of it eventually. I know as she develops and learns fears come and go. It's not a transitional issue, it's just a legitimate fear.
We just make sure to accept as many playdate invitations that we can with our therapy schedule and when we get there I don't force DD to do anything. Yesterday she sat in my lap the whole time holding a balloon instead of playing or interacting with the kids. I think it just takes her a long time to warm up and get comfortable. Good luck!
I am honestly torn between this being a fear vs. a transition issue.
abs - does your daughter have any specific delay? I'm just trying to figure out if this is connected to something else, or just this one area.
I used to wonder if he was on the spectrum - mostly because of the speech delay and he had some quirks but he really did hit a verbal explosion around two, which is quite typical. His speech is perfect. And he does interact with kids really well, so I don't know.
I even asked his spec instruction therapist about it many times and she said she believes he shows zero signs of being on the spectrum. She's an amazing therapist, and actually works with loads of kids on the spectrum, so I do trust her judgment. She's also the one dismissing him soon, and I don't think she would do that if she thought something else was going on with him.
I honestly just want to do what I can to help him and to help alleviate the stress of both me and DH. It's hard right now taking him most places and I wish it wasn't like that. I feel like at this age we should be able to take him places, do fun activities, etc., and we can't.