letting housekeeper go - lie to her?

blondie10m · June 2013

We have been pretty unhappy with our housekeeper for the past year for numerous reasons and have decided to drop her and hire another person. I just don't know what wording to say to her (well, not actually her, to the guy who speaks English who drives her and the other ladies around). I feel like I have to give a reason but don't want to upset them (who have my key still). Is it bad to lie and just say I'm going to clean myself now because our budget is tight?

My mom said to just say our cleaning needs have changed, that's it, but I feel like they will ask me to elaborate and I'm a terrible liar on the spot. And I'm not sure if there is some underground Polish housekeepers network and she's going to find out I have a new Polish housekeeper (who speaks English and gets rave reviews) and I'll be found out. She is still cleaning some of our neighbors' houses so she will still be around.

FemShep · June 2013

Don't lie. You never know when it might come back to bite you.

I second your Mom's advice: "Our household's needs have changed, so I must cancel our cleaning service. Thank you for your work over the past year."

cecilyandgautam · June 2013

I don't think lying to her is a good idea. She'll see the new housekeeper come by when she's at your neighbor's place and even if she doesn't, word spreads.

How to phrase it depends on what conversations you've had with her update. Have you told her what she wasn't doing well and given her a chance to improve? If so, then you can say that it's not working out because those issues are still unresolved and you really need to some one who can do XYZ. If not, then I don't really have advice - maybe others will.

jroth33470 · June 2013

I would just say something like we won't need you after x date. Try to give two weeks notice so she can fill your spot and ask her for key back. We always paid an extra week if I could not wait longer. These people know your lives. Part on good terms. Money usually makes it good

blushingbride_08 · June 2013

Blame it on dh

blondie10m · June 2013

I have spoken to her about one issue many times (leaving our windows open) and we still find windows open almost every time. Plus I can't communicate with her and leave notes (which is important to me) and that is something that I don't see changing (she is not a new immigrant just learning the language). I tell her not to close closets and she still sometimes locks my cat in one, which terrifies me when I go on vacation and a neighbor has to come over and check when she is done and close our windows. Plus some other things.

But I just don't want to make her mad when she still has my key. I will ask for her to leave it the next time she comes. But I can't tell her any of this directly, it's me dealing with the guy who drives her around. She is a very nice person, but having a housekeeper should make your marriage better, not add stress when my husband and I have arguments after every time she cleans about checking the windows and me complaining about other things.

hthrjnsn · June 2013

blushingbride_08:
Blame it on dh

LOL! I love this.

As PP said, "Don't lie. You never know when it might come back to bite you. I second your Mom's advice: "Our household's needs have changed, so I must cancel our cleaning service. Thank you for your work over the past year." "

I would definitely just tell her our needs had changed and that we would no longer be able to use her as our cleaning service.

snicksnack · June 2013

Be honest and change the locks especially if she does not work for a bonded and insured company.

CaitS07 · June 2013

snicksnack:
Be honest and change the locks especially if she does not work for a bonded and insured company.

This. Whatever you decide to do, you should still change the locks.

MammaBear81 · June 2013

CaitS07:
snicksnack:
Be honest and change the locks especially if she does not work for a bonded and insured company.
This. Whatever you decide to do, you should still change the locks.

This

melody921 · June 2013

FemShep:

Don't lie. You never know when it might come back to bite you.

I second your Mom's advice: "Our household's needs have changed, so I must cancel our cleaning service. Thank you for your work over the past year."

Exactly. That's all that needs to be said. No need to lie. If pressed, you can just say you appreciate her time and effort but you no longer need her services.

IBackBevo · June 2013

I've been toying with the idea of doing the same thing. Only we have had our housekeeper for 4 years. She has just gotten lazy. We talk to her and it will get better briefly and then go back to being bad again. As PP said, I think changing the locks is a good idea. I don't have any great ideas on how to do it. I've thought about making my DH do it.

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