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One & Done: Only child
mmsall
member
How much time do you spend playing with your one and only?
mmsall
member
Hello...I Haven't been on here in a very long time, but had a question and knew this would be the best place to ask.
Since our LO will not have siblings to play with growing up, we'll be filling in for a lot of fun play time. You need at least 2 for: board games, hide n seek, see-saws, playing ball, and sooooooo many other day to day role playing, toy playing, imagination activities.
My question is how much time do you spend with your child on a typical day simply playing?
I have a 3 year old son and we play a lot. Sometimes I feel bad when I can't play when he's asking. I'm trying to convince myself that it's ok to not be able to play every moment we're home. Then I feel guilty because we made the decision to only have one child, otherwise a brother or sister would be playing with him.
Looking forward to your responses.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How much time do you spend playing with your one and only?
sooooooo many other day to day role playing, toy playing, imagination activities.
I actually disagree that there have to be 2 for the above to take place! DS plays "role" playing/ imagination games a lot by himself. He LOVES to play "firefighter". I often play with him, but he'll easily do it alone too. This is both him being the firefighter and putting his gear on and running around putting out fires and also his playing w/ his many firetrucks/legos/firefighters.
I try to find a balance. I want to play w/ DS, but I also want him to be comfortable playing alone. Due to DHs job (2 weeks on/ 2 weeks off), I spend a lot of time alone w/ DS. If I want to be able to get anything done at home, I simply can't play w/ DS all the time!
And again- I know of siblings who actually don't play w/ each other. All they do is fight over toys and the parents are always busy trying to keep peace between the kids.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
DS also plays with his dog, so this is helpful. It's good for kids to know how to play on their own as well sometimes.
I think lots of only children tend to have a super creative gene
My daughter has always been big into role playing and playing "several roles" simply because she had no choice when there's no one to play with. She even does it with board games! She'll "pick" someone from her class and pretend to be them, and take that turn... and then take hers. Or she'll grab some stuffed animals or dolls and take on different roles. There are always ways, if they are creative.
But yes, I most definitely play with her too. She's 7 now, so doesn't require quite the amount of "play attention" she did when she was 2, 3 (etc) years old. She's able to understand now when I'm busy, cooking, cleaning.. that I can't drop it and play.
I think a balance needs to be found, and you really shouldn't EVER feel guilty if you can't drop things and play. While playing with them IS important, I feel it's just as important for them to learn to be independent. It's a skill that will do them good in the future.
Most of the playing with him we do is the sort of run around roughhousing and piggybacking that a sibling wouldn't do anyway.
My brother and I only played together about half the time. We got along just fine, and were only 2.5 years apart, but frequently we were each just happily doing our own thing. And my mother usually participated when we played board games anyway.
Some kids do like more attention than others. LO is happy drawing or doing a puzzle by himself, but some of the women in my birth month board have their toddler permanently glued to them.
I think along with just being creative inherently, playing by yourself breeds a sense of creativity.
As an only myself, I remember playing by myself and not feeling lonely.
I think even with multiple children it is a very important skill to master. The idea of entertaining oneself.
I also get confused when people act like multiple children play together all of the time, doesn't the age gap kind of prevent that? For example, would a 7 year old really want to play at the level of a 4 year old all of the time?
This. I have an hour commute, so when we get home, we enjoy a little down time, then it is time for me to cook and get us ready for the next day. We do get a chance to just cuddle or play on the weekends, but ds loves playing by himself, which is awesome.
When I'm not at work/she's not at daycare, she has my (almost) undivided attention.
We don't have the TV on while she's awake. So we're reading books, playing with toys or at the park together. DH and I have similar work schedules, so we're able to cover for each other when one of us is taking a shower, etc.
When DD seems happy playing by herself, we try to let her be so she can develop some independent play skills. It doesn't last long, but we can get about five minutes out of her here and there. I'm sure that will get better as she gets older.
Don't feel guilty. It is good for you child to learn to entertain himself. With or without a sibling, kids need a little time for themselves.
Burned by the Bear
This sounds exactly like me and my 18 month old DS. I interact with him almost constantly on the weekends, but I try to give him opportunities to play by himself. I never interrupt his independent playing, and I play with him when he wants me to.
MMC 3.30.16
My son is seven so it has varied over the years. We do encourage playing on his own but I am not against an excuse to get in touch with my inner child. When he was little it was more time, we played little people, dinkies, play doh, little games. Now he is older it is less and we live in a neighbourhood with lots of kids and we are always hosting playdates and sleepovers. Pretty low maintenance at this age. Now we play board games, legos, do crafts, video games (myself and my husband are big gamers too so that works for us!) and those are things I realy enjoy anyway. We also play soccer, street hockey and catch now. We really enjoy spending time together since we both work full time. Oh I also take him with me when I walk and he rides his bike.
I confess though there are things I really don't like and dread having to play/partcipate in! Pokemon is at the top of that list. It makes no sense to me!
Also on our last family trip which was a bit longer than usual and no other kids around I think we all needed space after two weeks....I was amazed of how long he could be entertained with his made up games...but it got a little old for me after an hour or two!
Thank you momma's! You've been a great help and really helped with the guilt trip I've been putting myself through. Our son does have a great imagination and does well playing by himself. It just tugs my heart when I have busy days and feel like I'm saying "No" to him all day when he asks me to play.
I feel better about it all now. Thanks so much!
DS is 4 and likes us to wrestle and chase him around, play hide and seek or duck, duck goose. When he's playing with his toys he often prefers to play by himself because we "do it wrong." He has made these elaborate worlds for his "guys" to play in. He does like us to be near-by a lot. We probably spend at least an hour on weekdays having quality play time with him, more on the weekend.
He does love to play board games and we do that several nights a week after dinner. He helps get the table cleared and picks out the game and sets it up while DH and I get dinner put away and dishes done.
my little one is on 7.5 months we play a lot and it's not an issue with us...
we do plan on a lot of activities for him as he gets older and he will play with kids his age etc not concerned about it...