Anyone OAD...not by choice?

sunflwr2 · May 2013

I have endometriosis and after laparoscopic surgery to remove a cyst and stage 3 endo I got pregnant! Dd is 20 months now...I would like another but we decided if it doesn't happen we are not going to peruse iui or IVF. So there is a really strong possibility we will not be able to have another. Anyone else in a similar situation?

thatoneredhead · May 2013

Can I be somewhere in between these posts? Yes we could have another, but I had clotting issues and a helluva pregnancy. So, it factors into it, but it doesnt rule it out.

Same with finances. Sure we could do it. Do we want to? Not really.

Tbd143 · May 2013

I guess like PP, I kind of consider myself in both catergories. After serious complications during delivery with DS, it was strongly reccommeded that I don't have any more children. And if I did, to be very sure I was ok with my children growing without me. Although technically not impossible However, I am pretty sure we would have been OAD anyway. So here we are, OAD.

EastCoastBride · May 2013

I'm in the middle due to IF issues, but realistically - if we REALLY wanted another child, we would have continued trying, even if it cost $$.

I think to say "by choice" really means you just know through and through that 1 is right for you. As I can't fully say that, I have to put myself more on the "not by choice" side.

SheLovesMrHip · May 2013

We are OandD and it isnt by choice.....well sort of. if we had another I run a tonof health risks. I went on bedrest at 17weeks due to a blocked kidney which required many procedures during my pregnancy. Was on a pain patch so my DD was high in the womb. Csection at 36weeks with a NICU stay. At 5months postpartum I had a total hip replacement. I already had bad hips but the weight gain trashed them more.

Smudges*Mom · June 2013

EastCoastBride:
I'm in the middle due to IF issues, but realistically if we REALLY wanted another child, we would have continued trying, even if it cost .I think to say "by choice" really means you just know through and through that 1 is right for you.nbsp; As I can't fully say that, I have to put myself more on the "not by choice" side. nbsp;

This is where we are, too. If it was that important to me/us, I/we could have pressed the issue. But, I was 37 years old when I had LO, he is an IVF baby, I developed severe pree/HELLP Syndrome at nearly 42 weeks and then severe PPD that kicked in three days after delivery. Additionally, my DH is in the military and has been deployed two out of the last four years. Our son is not yet four years old and is living in house number three, which is in Germany.

What about any of that says "Let's hurry up and do this again!"????? No thank you. I will appreciate the blessing that we have and be done.

I did not get married until I was 34 years old. For a time, I feared that I would not get married in time to have a family. So, with just one child, my dreams came true. Being OAD was not my first choice, but my heart is full, regardless. I choose to be thankful for what I do have and not want what I can't have.

genekelly · June 2013

We were unexplained IF. It took 3 years to get pregnant spontaneously with DS. I was 40 when I delivered and DH was almost 60. DH always wanted one but was open to 2 and I always wanted 5 but was going to settle for 2. DS is almost 2 and finally I'm coming to see the beauty of our little family of 3 instead of feeling sad that I wouldn't get to do any of this again.

It's hard when you don't get the choice on the size of your family. It's gotten better over time. In my case, I've had to come to terms with it b/c DH had a vasectomy so the likelihood of pregnancy is near zero. During those 3 years of IF, the roller coaster of hoping to be pregnant every month was draining. I'm glad to have stepped off that ride. I wish you all the best!

MomToNeeners · June 2013

Type 1 diabetic & I have PCOS w/ fibroids. I was told I would never have children. My last OB thought I may change my mind if I met the right guy (single mom here). It's been over a year and I haven't changed my mind...

IBackBevo · June 2013

Smudges*Mom:
EastCoastBride:
I'm in the middle due to IF issues, but realistically if we REALLY wanted another child, we would have continued trying, even if it cost .I think to say "by choice" really means you just know through and through that 1 is right for you.nbsp; As I can't fully say that, I have to put myself more on the "not by choice" side. nbsp;
This is where we are, too. If it was that important to me/us, I/we could have pressed the issue. But, I was 37 years old when I had LO, he is an IVF baby, I developed severe pree/HELLP Syndrome at nearly 42 weeks and then severe PPD that kicked in three days after delivery. Additionally, my DH is in the military and has been deployed two out of the last four years. Our son is not yet four years old and is living in house number three, which is in Germany. What about any of that says "Let's hurry up and do this again!"????? No thank you. I will appreciate the blessing that we have and be done. I did not get married until I was 34 years old. For a time, I feared that I would not get married in time to have a family. So, with just one child, my dreams came true. Being OAD was not my first choice, but my heart is full, regardless. I choose to be thankful for what I do have and not want what I can't have.

Wow! I love the way you put it.

Our situations sound very similar. I have severely diminished ovarian reserve (AMH is undetectable) and we had to go through IF the first time. I developed severe pre-e during pregnancy that resulted in LO getting IUGR (intra uterine growth retardation) and me being on bedrest. I think I was in and out of the hospital a total of 7 times before I finally delivered via C-section after LO's heart rate started having decels that didn't come back up appropriately. We were told that if we wanted another one we should enter IF treatment asap...yet, at the same time, I was running the risk of a rupture due to the C-section not being healed. Pretty much right now we are taking the stance that if it happens it happens but we probably won't pursue treatment...at least not for now. So I guess we are for now OAD not by choice. If it was a perfect world and I didn't have all of the above working against me, I would love another one. But I also have decided to focus on my blessings!

Edit: I'm glad I found this post. At first, I was a little taken aback because it seemed like all the posts were OAD by choice and I feel very different.

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