Is this normal?

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

Maybe I'm wrong, but I am not around a ton of nine year olds. Anyway, is it normal for them to ask what things cost ? And I mean everything. SS keeps asking. SM, how much did you pay for your truck , the house, tv, furniture, etc.

Is this normal behavior?

Hopeforthebest · June 2013

I'm not sure, but my almost 9 year old SS just told DH on the phone the other night that he didn't know DH could buy him this electronic drum set cause it was more than $100.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

I don't know if this is normal curiosity or if it's some sort of phishing for BM. The only thing that makes me think that is last visit he asked why DH and I have BMW and then said BM says its bc we like to show off.

Littlejen22 · June 2013

I think it is normal, although annoying! My DS is only 6 and obsessed with saving money and has started to ask questions about what things cost already. I think that even a comment from parents as innocent as telling a kid no when they ask for something at the store and saying "we are not spending money on that" makes kids curious as to what things cost even if they do not fully understand. I think sometimes they are questioning if they think you can afford it and are choosing not to or if they can buy it with their own money, etc. And DS has even done the same as above asking what DH makes a month and guessed that it was $100!

fellesferie · June 2013

It's normal.

DS (8) learned about money in school starting in K, so he asks questions with some frequency.

DD (3) looooooooves money. She loves playing with money, she asks questions about money, she is happiest when someone gives her some coins to play with. In short, she is like dh.

2chatter · June 2013

It depends. SD asked around that age, and it was totally fishing. You could absolutely tell the difference though, between normal and fishing. When she would ask something like "how much was dinner" as a one off, no big deal. When she asked "how much did you spend on my dinner versus dinner for her kids and her" that was a little different. She would also ask "lists of questions". How much was your car, house, clothing, electric bill, school tuition, day care, etc.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

JNLLSM:
however, with your BM situation I would wonder if she was behind it.

this is what I'm thinking. Especially when he was picking SS up and BM told SS if he wanted to do stuff he had to ask DH "since he has all the money," "he's in the army and they make a ton of money," " he has a BMW so ask him for money."

Alohalove · June 2013

My first instinct is that she's fishing for info for someone. My step-kids rarely ask how much things cost.

However, I didn't take into account that your SS may be learning about money management in school. If he is, then I can see how he'd be curious about things.

bebe11 · June 2013

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
JNLLSM:
however, with your BM situation I would wonder if she was behind it.
this is what I'm thinking. Especially when he was picking SS up and BM told SS if he wanted to do stuff he had to ask DH "since he has all the money," "he's in the army and they make a ton of money," " he has a BMW so ask him for money."

I would say it is normal, to an extent. My DD is 11 and she is more nosey than currious But she would ask me "how much do you make" "how much do you have in the bank" "how much did your car cost"..... but being that your BM says the above to your SS, I would almost think that BM might have something to do with it. Or maybe she always tells him something costs too much money, and maybe he is really currious how much money things really do cost?

What do you tell him when he starts asking how much things cost?

Nineoceans · June 2013

SS went through a stage where he counted every penny I spent and reported it back to Dh. Then one day he asked me what would happen if I spent too much and I said we would make more money and be more careful with our spending.

This phase coincided with Bm losing a storage unit and SS losing most of his baby things when she didn't pay

I wouldn't dismiss your SS but I would answer him honestly, I'm sure there is some root it's coming from try to see if you can engage in deeper convo to see if something's on his mind.

If Bm is complaining to you about not enough CS I think that's right if I remember correctly I would put money that she's mentioning these things to SS and he may need answers from you on what the truth of the situation is

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

bebe11:
*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
JNLLSM:
however, with your BM situation I would wonder if she was behind it.
this is what I'm thinking. Especially when he was picking SS up and BM told SS if he wanted to do stuff he had to ask DH "since he has all the money," "he's in the army and they make a ton of money," " he has a BMW so ask him for money."
I would say it is normal, to an extent. My DD is 11 and she is more nosey than currious   But she would ask me "how much do you make" "how much do you have in the bank" "how much did your car cost"..... but being that your BM says the above to your SS, I would almost think that BM might  have something to do with it.  Or maybe she always tells him something costs too much money, and maybe he is really currious how much money things really do cost?
What do you tell him when he starts asking how much things cost?

Honestly I don't think it's any of his business how much my car costs or how much my monthly mortgage is. I don't see how I can turn it into a learning experience. I asked DH if SS talks to him about money and he said no. Well other than when we went to the movie theater after we had eaten dinner and SS wanted a hot dog. DH said we had just eaten dinner and he didn't need a hot dog. SS said BM always has money to buy me what I want.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

Nineoceans:
SS went through a stage where he counted every penny I spent and reported it back to Dh. Then one day he asked me what would happen if I spent too much and I said we would make more money and be more careful with our spending.

This phase coincided with Bm losing a storage unit and SS losing most of his baby things when she didn't pay

I wouldn't dismiss your SS but I would answer him honestly, I'm sure there is some root it's coming from try to see if you can engage in deeper convo to see if something's on his mind.

If Bm is complaining to you about not enough CS I think that's right if I remember correctly I would put money that she's mentioning these things to SS and he may need answers from you on what the truth of the situation is

BM gets 1k/month from DH. I know a few years ago SS confronted DH and said he didn't take care of him. While I think it wasn't age appropriate I don't blame DH for how he handled it. He said "yes I do give your mom money to take care of you. You see she goes shopping right? How does she have money since she doesn't work? It's bc I give her money." is it my "place" to talk to him about these issues? I just see another SM overstepping her place speech coming on.

10-4LilBuddy · June 2013

SD is 9 and they did a big project about economics - buying, spending, being consumers vs. producers. She will ask sometimes about how much cars and houses cost. We respond that they are expensive, but we always get what we can afford. When she tries to open bills or look at the restaurant check, we tell her only to do that if she is willing to be the one who pays. She stopped doing it. In the past, she's made comments that BM said we were rich.

Based on your back story, I am pretty sure your BM has talked about money so often that he was either explicitly or implicitly fishing for her.

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