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Pre-School and Daycare
I can't handle the attitude anymore
I just cried, like sobbing cried, because my just-graduated preschooler threw such unnecessary attitude at me and his sister because he was frustrated. I get it, he's 4 and frustrated, but the ugly faces, attitude and throwing things when I'm trying to help him just has to stop.
We had a nice morning with him having a party for finishing pre-k. Lovely weather and he wanted to ride his bike before lunch once we were home. Ok, let's go. He gets mad at me because I accidently nicked his neck when putting on his helmet and ran down the street and gave me a hard time coming back. I apologized and finally he's riding his bike. Near the end, he abandoned his bike in the street when he was crossing to go back home. By the time I caught up, he refused to take the bike up into the garage. Grumpy attitude and making statements like "Well, YOU push it back into the garage!" and "I don't care if I leave it and someone might take it!" Once in the house and I'm cooking lunch, he is grumpy and demanding lunch. I tell him I'm making it, so please wash your hands. Suddenly, he shoves his sister a bit, who was on the chair at the sink washing her hands, slams the cabinet and then throws something that was on the stairs down onto the floor, all while having the meanest face.
I lost it and told him to go to his room until he feels better. After a bit, he comes out, we talk about why he's so grumpy. He tells me it's because he couldn't get the bike across the street. I tell him I understand it's frustrating, but when we can't do something, we either think of a solution or ask for help, not take it out on others. He gets all argumentative again, with the same mean face, and I just lose it again. I yelled at him, sent him to his room again. We made up, but he told me to "get off of me" when I hugged him. I made lunch, but cried in the living room.
I just wanted to have him ride his bike after a nice morning and then have him wash his hands before lunch. I feel like he's always mad at me and arguing against what I'm saying. It's really bringing me down.
Sorry this was long. 
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Re: I can't handle the attitude anymore
First, hugs. Having toddlers and young children is so hard. Stay firm with your discipline and know that this stage willl pass.
That's a great idea. I will have to try something. I also saw something a lady was making where there was a multicolored ribbon with a clothes pin that the child moves up and down based on their behavior. Time outs aren't really cutting it as much anymore.
Wow, IMO this came off as very rude. I didn't read the end as OP was crying because her DS was mad at her, it seemed from the post that she's feeling frustrated by his constant negative attitude and she was hoping to just have a nice day with her kids and that didn't work out. You mean to tell me that if your kid was always in a negative mood you wouldn't start to feel hopeless and down? How about just if her DS hurt her feelings, is that not allowed?
OP, I'm sorry you having a hard time right now. I don't have any suggestions, just want to offer some hugs. Hopefully his attitude improves.
GSx1 - 05/13/2013
GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!
I don't feel judged.
But I was crying because I feel like all we do is fight and he doesn't listen. I cried because I was frustrated. I am trying to handle things in a calm, rational manner and he's yelling at me because I asked him to wash his hands.
It's totally possible to have a moment, though, where your child can hurt your feelings.
Thanks.
Yeah, you got what I was talking about in the OP. I'm tired of the negative attitude. But you're right, it sort of hurt my feelings when I tried to make it better and he tells me to leave him alone. I'm only human and I assume I'm not the only mom who has felt that way.
His mood is better now. Dh and I talked about trying harder to make sure we keep our mood positive and not react so much. I think it makes them more negative and becomes a negative feed loop.
Not sure I have a lot of advice other than what you are already doing, but I just wanted to say I am going through the exact same thing. Being demanding, yelling, failed bike rides, constantly yelling "no" when it's time to wash hands before eating. He's an only child right now but he's even being mean to kids we see in public if he wants to do what they're doing. He's 3 and a half.
I try to enforce regular consequences and stick to them. For example, if he doesn't wash his hands when he's supposed to he either has to go to a time out or he doesn't get dessert after his meal. If he's mean to me or kids when we're out, then I say he doesn't get to go back to that place (at least for a while). I try to stay as calm as I can but sometimes it's so hard! I've cried, too. Hang in there!
Perfectly stated, thank you. Sometimes I just want to have a nice moment and not have to correct/discipline/redirect and then be the bad guy.
I don't think he's worried about kindergarten, but more that he is struggling between wanting to be independent and still needing help. He wanted to ride his bike around the court, but then got mad that he got stuck on a crack. So instead of just asking for help, he got mad, abandoned his bike, took it out on me and then it started our fighting. I had no idea he was upset, so I was angry at his fighting me. I guess he's like his dad in that way.
Thanks. Yep, I've been there with the random meanness to stranger kids. It's so embarrassing and frustrating. I had to stop taking him places (he was 2 1/2 at the time) because he'd lash out if they were playing with something he wanted. Stick with consequences and warnings about good behavior beforehand. It gets better (thank god!).
HUUUUGS TO YOU!
And after my day I am happy that we are not the only ones with a emotionally unstable young kid!
I have NO help to offer (only support), but want you to know that we are going through a similar phase.
Today I took the kids to meet friends and play outside. After DS wanted to bike around town. It was already lunch time and I knew we would get home well after naptime, but I said yes, as he had a great morning and I wanted to treat him to something special. It was fine and great but then we got home and he was snarky and rude and he thought that he was totally funny.
After a rest time he was still grumpy and rude to me. I lost it and made it clear that I didnt want to play with him.
NOTHING seems to set in. Nothing seems to work, taking away toys, having consequences. I am at a loss
www.facebook.com/TryVermontFirst
I love these two beautiful children!
Yeah, exactly, nothing seems to sink in. He acts up and *I'm the jerk for disciplining him. It must be the age or something. I told him today that he's got no right to be mean to me. Not sure if he got that, but it's true.
Random acts of grumpy, I am not a fan.
I am kind of tired of being the boss all the time. I wanna break...lol.
Oh honey. I hear you.
For starters - it is perfectly okay to cry. It is okay to cry because of work, because of family, because of children. No one has the right to come along and say "this situation doesn't warrant crying." You cry when you need to. It's your way of getting it out.
Second - kids can be buttheads. They make us question our parenting ability, they make us question a lot. We can be the best mothers ever and still have horrible days.
On days when DD is in a bad mood, I try to visualize something I learned in a childcare class we took before having her: the teacher held up a piece of string that stretched the span of her arms, and there was a knot in one side farther to the left. There was another knot a few inches down. The space in between the knots represented the time that we would spend raising our child(ren). The rest of the string was the remainder of our life - how much time it is in comparison to these short 18 years.
What I'm trying to say is, we've all been there/will be there, you're justified to feel frustrated and vent/cry, and it WILL get better. For real.
Thanks, I really appreciate that. What a good visual. I'll have to try to remember during the tough days. I know I will miss it when it's gone.
Oh, I completely understand where you are coming from. It must be the age. My son just turned 5 on June 4 and he is all over the map with emotional outbursts. I thought I would be saved all the drama with boys, but that is definitely not the case.
The worst is when he gets his little brother to help him in his destructiveness or unwanted behavior.
I always try to tell myself that they are only little for a little while. Ages and stages come and go so quickly. This is a hard one right now, but a good phase is hopefully around the corner.
I will tell you that our Kindergarten has already told us to expect at least 6 weeks of transition at the beginning of the school year. The VP flat out told me, "Expect your child to be an emotional trainwreck for the first 6 weeks."
I'm so hoping to find some sort of happy medium for the summer where everyone can get along and learn to listen to each other. Good luck! And know you're not alone!
Thanks! Yeah, I'm very nervous about the start of kindergarten. Ds had a bout of crying in prek when he got frustrated and also the night before/morning of school days. We worked out the kinks, but I worry about how he's going to be when it's 5 full days a week.