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Distance between homes?(50/50)

emme022emme022 member
in Blended Families
I was kind of curious about this and tried to do some searching online but didn't come up with much.  Is there a general distance time wise/mile wise that is considered to be "ok" for a 50/50 custody situation?  I hope I am phrasing this correctly/people can understand.  This will not be an issue for us for awhile if at all since LO is only 2 so we do not have to worry about school or anything at the moment but BM's pattern is to meet a new guy, get an apartment with him, break up move back home etc so I wonder about how far away she goes etc.  SO will be going back to court next year so I'm also wondering if maybe something about distance between each other should be put in the CO since distance is something we will def consider when buying a house in the next year or 2 etc and also how is it determined which parents town the other parent can not go X amount of miles out of.  Also would in generally go by town or exact address.  Sorry again if this makes no sense it is just something that I was curious about.
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Re: Distance between homes?(50/50)

  • cole2144cole2144 member
    We have 50/50 and are about 20 minutes from BM`s house.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member

    Uh Bm lives a block down from us. Good and bad, probably mostly bad although I have to say on really snowy days or days where the weather is crazy, I would not have it any other way.

    I think as long as you live within the same city/school district it would be preferred. In our state when parents live close and both express interest 50/50 is essentially the default judgment

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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    imageMelRC117:

    We are about 20 mins away from where BM used to live.

    We have 50/50 now but in the old agreement which happened right after BM moved 2 hours away to try to keep H from getting 50/50 they were just under2  hours away.  Even in that agreement it was done so no one parent could move more than 120 miles away (essentially no further than BM moved already).  BM tried to move with some boyfriend about 4 hours and straight up asked H if he would go to court over it and he told her absolutely. 

    In another instance she tried to move SS 30 minutes away when she moved in with another BF and wanted SS to go to school there and take him out of the school he was in.  H did tons of research showing how the school district SS was in and compared it to the school district/school he would be moved to.  H contemplated at that time getting in the CO that SS could not be moved from X district. Maybe you could have the districts listed out that would have to be stuck to or that they cannot move outside of X miles?

     

    this is how our CO is written and why we are stuck where we are. At the time we thought it was genius because Bm was pulling SS out of school literally every year but now it sucks. I don't want my kids necessarily to go to this school after seeing how much they're failing SS. It's a double edged sword but yes it has definitely helped establish some stability for SS for sure. 

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  • PrettyInPearls23PrettyInPearls23 member

    We don't currently have 50/50 but whenever XH spouts off about wanting 50/50 (this only happens when CS comes up...shocker, right?) I I always tell him I won't even entertain the idea until he lives in the same school district as where DS will be attending.

    Right now XH currently lives 2 hours away. He's moved 4 times since we split and each time gets a little farther away from DS.

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  • danac2010danac2010 member
    We have 50/50 and the paper work says that they are both to live in a certain school district.  It can be anywhere in that ISD but they are to stay within that limit.  BM moved out of that district before the ink dried on the CO so DH made her sign something saying that she was losing the right to have SD go to her school district and DH's address would be SD's address for all school related things.  We are looking to move in a few years to a bigger house and we will stay within the school district.  There are 4 cities the school district covers and about 20 sq miles so we should be fine but BM has yet to move back to the area and lives about 20 min away.  The school is just behind our neighborhood.
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  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    Generally if one parent has the opportunity to make a signigicant amount more money, the courts will allow them to move the child anywhere for that job. Other that that, I think it's specific to each situation whether a judge orders a distance clause or not.
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    We have 50/50 on paper, but I live 20 minutes from XH and in a MUCH better school district. When DS started school last fall we agreed to enroll him in my district. Our schedule as it was before wasn't working. XH would have to get the kids up at 6:15 on school mornings to get them to my house on time for the bus. They were used to sleeping an hour later than that, and he was not prepared to handle getting both of their grumpy butts ready for school and daycare. He couldn't drop DS off at school because he had to be a work before school started.

    We changed it so the only morning XH has to bring DS to school now is Friday. He has Fridays off from so its not a problem for him. Our arrangement now gives me 4 nights a week and him 3 nights a week. It's not equal time anymore but its close and it works best for all of us.

    I think if one of us moved farther we would have to do a different schedule. Just the 20 minute drive with our work schedules is bad enough. Our paperwork says we have to notify eachother of moves but does not specify distance allowed.
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  • new+tothisnew+tothis member
    BD and I live 30-45 minutes away from each other, depending on traffic and weather. We have 50/50 custody but our DS isn't in school yet. Our CO says that neither parent can move out of the county. It should probably be worded differently in our case because our county is huge and from one end to the other is several hours.
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  • Llynch0426Llynch0426 member

    We meet halfway  by miles. The kids live with the BM in NC, we live in NJ. So all holidays etc my husband gets kids. And for 6 weeks in the summer.  We have a specific mtg point, which ends up being same distance for both of us...

     

    fyi, the BM moved there after divorce with kids, though it doesn't seem like it sometimes, my husband got the better end of the deal.  

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