- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 24 Months+
sugarbear0524
member
Restaurant Vent
sugarbear0524
member
We live in the same city (within 10 minutes) of almost all of my DH's family, so we get together a lot. There are 7 kids age 7 and under, including DS (who is 2). We were all together for a birthday party for my FIL at a pizza place.
DS was sitting in a high chair and was a little restless but not too bad. The other kids (including two other 2 year old boys in the family) were running around everywhere. I don't want DS to think it's ok to run around in restaurants. We have never let him down before.
I went to the restroom and came back, there he was--with the other kids. I said that I didn't want him down and my MIL said she wanted him down to play with the others. DH said that he felt bad for DS because the other kids were running around and he couldn't.
First, we don't have to raise our son exactly like the other kids in the family are being raised. There are going to be things that the other kids get to do that DS doesn't, and vice versa. The other kids were being really loud and crazy. Is that how you want DS to act in a restaurant?
We went out to eat again last night and, of course, DS wanted down. I tried to explain to DH that DS doesn't understand when the expectations change. If he can get down then, why not now?
Any tips on how to deal with this family dynamic? These three 2 year old boys are going to be raised in close proximity and will have different rules, limits, etc.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Restaurant Vent
It's really hard. We've been there, too. My brother and SIL do not discipline their son, and it's hard to have our DD play with him. He's allowed to push DD, tell her "No share with you!", etc. I have to constantly intervene because brother and SIL will do nothing. It's awkward because I don't want to discipline their kid in front of them, so I direct my comments towards DD. I'll say stuff like, "Cousin is having a hard time using gentle hands. Let's go play with _________ over here for a little bit." We've also been in the restaurant situation with friends and their kids, and I just make sure my kid is following our rules. If the other kid starts being loud, and DD starts up, too, I'll correct DD. She's 3.5, and she hasn't questioned me as to why can't she do something when other kids can. DH and I do make sure to talk to to her a lot about appropriate behavior when we're out just the three of us, so she knows the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
I think the other issue you should deal with is making sure you and your DH are on the same page as far as behavior expectations. I think it's more confusing for a kid to have one parent allow something and the other one doesn't, than to have different expectations for different families.