Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
SleepingBeauty79
member
Re: Conceiving
At 36, I conceived naturally after 3 months, had a miscarriage a week after getting a BFP, then conceived again naturally 2-3 months later. That baby boy is due in October (just after I turn 37).
I did not temp or chart. We decided to just let nature take its course and let it happen when it happened.
We started when I was 35. After a year, I got pg but miscarried. It took another year after that to get pg with my daughter.
ETA: And that was in spite of temping/charting my cycles the whole time, but I have infertility issues, so you really have no idea how long it will take until you try.
Took us a full year of charting, using OPKs, etc. I was 38 so DH and me got tested for fertility issues after 6 months TTC. No issues except slightly low progesterone, which I corrected by using natural progesterone cream after O. I got pregnant naturally after a year TTC and 2 months after the HSG test, which can help by "flushing out" your tubes. Had a full term healthy pregnancy and delivered our son when I was 39. We haven't used birth control since then but here I am, almost 43 and no luck for #2. I should probably go straight to IVF but I can't work up the courage! I guess I'm foolishly hoping for another miracle. Good luck
I married at 35. I went off the pill before we got married so we could TTTC before DH had to deploy (6 months) and then maybe attempt during his RnR. We went at it like bunnies, but I did not chart.
Given that I had accidentally become pregnant while on the pill (I could only take the lowest dosage so I was anal retentive about taking my pill at the same time every day, I never used the sugar pill due to other medical issues and I was not on an antibiotic), I was surprised that nothing happened then.
So when DH came back from deployment, I charted. AND I went in for a checkup. I ended up with a hysterosalpangrogram (ouchie). Both fallopian tubes were blocked from an infection. The procedure actually cleared me out.
The procedure was the first week of March and I got pregnant the first week of April.
We were trying for a year with no success, so our GP ordered a semen analysis for my husband. I had multiple health issues (diabetes, hypothyroidism) and only one ovary. Husband's SA came back terrible, with 0% morphology or totally abnormal sperm. The SA was done at our hospital's fertility clinic and the doctor there told us, "in cases like yours we usually recommend donor sperm" ... but we might have a slight chance if we did IVF. There was no way either of us would even consider a sperm donor, and we had no money for fertility treatments so we decided to try acupuncture, and the acu doctor (who specialized in fertility issues) also told us that it would be unethical for him not to recommend IVF for us because in his experience that was probably the only chance we'd have for a child.
We were devastated and I realized that we may have to give up the dream of having a child of our own. I think it hit my husband a lot harder than me, because I'd been hearing "You'll probably never get pregnant" from different doctors ever since my ovary was removed back in the '80s. I always thought I'd adopt a child if I couldn't have one, so that's what I wanted to do. But my husband wasn't really into that.
So basically I gave up on being a mother. I was 38 at the time and my husband was 50, and we'd been trying for almost two years. The fertility clinic must have been really excited to see our case, because they were calling me at work every single day to schedule an appointment. That really sucked. I wanted to scream into the phone, "Don't you think we'd be there yesterday if we could afford it?!!!"
Weirdly enough, it was my obgyn who was really optimistic and told me to not stress out so much. Usually I hated hearing the "just relax" talk, but she was very encouraging and sweet about it, and that made me feel better. But I told her I knew we'd never have kids.
So when my period got over two weeks late in 2010 I thought I was getting another cyst in my one remaining ovary and that would end up getting removed too. I was going to get an appointment to have that looked into when something told me to just take a pregnancy test. I got some Dollar Store ones because I knew it would be negative.
I almost fainted when the two lines came up! Everyone, including the acupuncture doctor, was shocked ... except my obgyn, who was thrilled lol! I had to be very careful because of my health conditions, but I was monitored throughout my pregnancy. Soooo ... to make a long story short, we tried almost two years, were told we'd never conceive naturally, and here we are: our son just turned two!
Here are my stats:
First pregnancy - age 34 and it was our third month trying, I was charting
Second pregnancy - age 36 via IVF after 18 failed cycles including a bunch on clomid and 2 failed IUIs
Third pregnancy - age 37, we weren't really trying to get pregnant and actually assumed I wouldn't given our trouble trying to conceive our second child. I miscarried early in my second trimester.
Fourth pregnancy - age 38 after only two months of trying but I was using clomid. I miscarried this pregnancy as well.
Fifth pregnancy - age 39 after four months and two IUIs
Sixth pregnancy - age 40, not only were we not trying we were using protection.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
34/35(it was my birthday week) - 1 cycle.
38 - 2 cycles.
eta - they were both conceived naturally but I temped, charted and used OPK's.
My Blog
About 2 months. I stopped birth control pills mid-November and found out I was pregnant mid-February (about 7 1/2 weeks along). After stopping BC's, it took me 6-7 weeks to have a period. I was waiting for my next period and just felt funny, so I took a pregnancy test. It was positive and I was SHOCKED!! I thought it would take us longer....we were very very fortunate! I was 35 at the time and am 37 now.
We were NOT trying but I conceived after about a year of not being on the pill. I was off and on the pill since I was about 16 mainly for period regulation. We had no plans to have kids. For some reason when I hit 35 I felt like it was just "time" to get off the pill. I don't know what my logic was other than I didn't want to have to take them until menopause. So I felt like since my periods were irregular and I was 35 my chances of pregnancy was pretty slim. But I conceived a year later at 36 after implementing a diet and exercise regimen where I lost 43 pounds.
Apparently the regular exercise as well as the weight loss regulated my period and so ovulation was regulated as well and I now have a little one whose 3 months old. :-)
My Blog
We started TTC the month we got married. I was 35.
It took just under two years to conceive naturally.
I temped, charted, used a clear blue monitor and had a number of tests done to determine the reason I was not getting pregnant. Every test, including a laproscopy and various blood tests came back as normal, as did DH's results. Finally I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and it was recommended that due to my age we pursue IVF. I found out I was pregnant about two weeks before we were set to start IVF. DS was born six months ago, when I was 38.
Id like to have another, but based in my history, I don't have any illusions about the possibility of conceiving again. My advice to the op is to start TTC as soon as possible, as you have no idea how long it will take you to conceive (if at all).
1st BFP was 2 months trying at 34 (m/c)
2nd BFP was three months later after a month TTA (docs orders) and then 2 months TTC. Resulted in DS. I was 34 for this one as well.
3rd BFP was 4 cycles of NTNP (second month with decent timing) once AF returned after BFing. Ended in a m/c. I was 35 when I got pg and 36 for the m/c.
We're currently trying for BFP #4...so far it's 7 cycles total, 6 TTC (had to skip the first, docs orders again). I'm apparently a poster child for fertility dropping off after age 35. We have an apt with an RE later this month
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
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~All AL'ers welcome~