Bed-sharers: a couple questions, please help

ChristyML · June 2013

My son is 8 months old, and he just cut his two bottom teeth. They are about half way grown in. He will now not sleep through the night without being in our bed.

We have a full size bed, and it is really hard to make room for a kicking 8 month old. I will usually lay him between my husband and me, with my arm up to nurse him, and then I will roll over to nurse him on the other side if he doesn't fall asleep with the one side.

My shoulders are starting to take a big hit. I have had a rib or two out of place before, and I can feel it coming on again. I need a different bed sharing position, and I've tried him on my tummy with me on my back, but I worry that he'll fall off because our bed is small, and we don't have rails (I don't think there are rails tall enough to stop him from going off the bed).

I'm at my wits end here.

So to my actual questions:

1. What size is your bed?

2. What position do you use to sleep with your LO? Does your SO sleep with you as well?

3. Any ideas on how I can make it better for my family and my shoulder? I don't mind cosleeping (we all used to get much more sleep anyway, but DS was much tinier then). Also, DS is NOT a cuddler. He hardly ever falls asleep on me anymore, but will in my arms, but my arms are exhausted and hurting.

Any other advice is welcome!

Thank you!

Emerald27 · June 2013

We have a queen sized bed with a bed rail on my side, so I can use up every inch of my side. I sleep with my bottom hand under my head/pillow, elbow above DS' head. Does that make sense? Sometimes I stretch my arm straight out. If DS scoots close enough to the bedrail, I sometimes lay on my back.

Do you have a crib? You could take off one side and raise the level of the mattress to match your bed. Then you can sidecar the crib, sort of extending the surface of your bed and giving him more room.

tokenhoser · June 2013

I would also suggest sidecarring a crib.

I slept in a twin with DS, but all 3 of us can't get comfy even in a queen. When I did bedshare with DS, I used a pillow under my hips to prop myself at a 45 degree angle - enough DS could nurse, but I wasn't straight on my side.

SnoopyLuv · June 2013

We tried side-carring the crib when J got like this. We ended up sleep training and stopping bedsharing because it was not working for any of us after a few weeks. She wouldn't stay on "her side" and just wanted to play/kick/nurse all night long. I think at some point, some kids want to sleep on their own. She definitely slept better after that.

LBF DPT · June 2013

we have a queen, my DH and i are both sprawlers so it makes things tight with DS. I sleep 1/2 on my stomach 1/2 on my side. i have had to sleep on the floor with DS recently due to space issues and my shoulders are getting sore as well. my suggestions would be to try and sleep on the back of your shoulder or place a thin pill under your shoulder to cushion the load.

eav2c · June 2013

1. A queen size bed.

2. The mattress is on the floor and set up montessori style. I sleep on the inside and he sleeps on the outside. I sleep on my stomach or however I really want. My SO does not sleep with us so that helps a lot. I will side lay nurse when he wakes but I end up on my own side of the bed as does LO.

3. I don't have a lot of help or advice but I personally found setting up the mattress on the floor really made it better and more comfortable for us. However, it's just LO and I, DH is in the master bedroom, and I can't really imagine making the current setup work with DH. I've seen people set up two large beds (either on rails or on the ground) and that works well for them as they cosleep with two of their children.

rboisvert · June 2013

We have a king bed. We all sleep together after her first wake-up. We've had a ton of different sleeping arrangements over the past two years. When she was about 8-15 months old she spent most of the night on my belly. We put a rail up and if she slid she ended up nestled in the crook of my arm against the rail. Now she just sleeps between us and the rail is down. The rail really gives you more room on the bed you can really get right up to the edge of the bed.

Oasismomma · June 2013

We have a king size bed with a bed rail. All three of us can fit, but I prefer to be in the middle, hence the bed rail. I'd look into that.

jennej24 · June 2013

1. Queen

2. Most of the time my dh sleeps with us, but if dd kicks him in the middle of the night he will go sleep on the couch or extra bed we have. She sleeps between us.

3. I nurse her but rarely put my arm up. I lay on my side and she lays on her side next to me, she is 16 months so if that doesn't work for you now maybe when your LO gets a little bigger? I also don't switch sides I just nurse with the top breast when she needs to switch sides and am laying somewhere between on my side and on my belly, hopefully that makes sense. Shes not a cuddler either, usually after she falls asleep I roll over and sleep with my back to her.

PayolaCrayola · June 2013

I sleep on a twin with DD. We used to share a queen with DH but it became too much so i moved into her room. My shoulders were always killing me so sometimes i just end up turning away from her. She hates it but im naturally a stomach sleeper so its been hard. Sometimes i will lay completely flat on my back with my arm straight out to give myself a break.

Princessmademommy · June 2013

We sleep on a full size bed but its too small for all three of us so my poor SO has slept on a futon in a different room for almost a year now. Our bed is pushed up against the wall so I usually try to sleep on the outside so I don't have to worry about her falling off but when I do end up nursing her on the side where the bed is not by the wall and we fall asleep, I just try to keep her closer to me and put my arm around her. She did fall off earlier this week and it was the scariest moment of my life. I felt so bad but she was perfectly fine just scared so now I am considering getting a guard rail.

nosoup4u · June 2013

We bight a king size mattress when DS1 was six months old, and it was the best cosleeping purchase we ever made!

Bride-hilda · June 2013

We have a Queen, but just decided to get a King. DS sleeps in-between us because I'm more paranoid of him rolling off than rolling into DH.

DS sleeps on his back, or side, with me right next to him so that I'll feel him if he tries to move onto his stomach. I sleep on my side facing him, or on my back.

This situation is NOT working for me. I hardly ever sleep, but everyone else sleeps just fine. DH just finished his student teaching so because he had to get up early he'd sleep in the guest room. But now he sleeps with us and DS tosses and turns and..., well, I'm not getting any sleep.

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