July 2012 Moms

Legit worry or judgey?

Tell me if I'm being judgmental here or if you'd be worried too.

My "friend" from church [she's really not my favorite person, but our kids are the same age so I try to tolerate her] has a teeny tiny baby that I'm kind of worried about. Please don't think I assume any baby who is small is malnourished; I know some perfectly healthy babies are just teensy and that's totally cool with me. But here's the scoop on this one: Dad is a pretty big guy, and mom is about my size [5'4" and 150lb], so about average. Their three year old son is HUGE like dad, in the 98 percentile still and wearing 5T size. Their baby girl is 13 mo old, in the 5 percent for weight and 2 for height. The mom LOVES that she is so tiny "like her" [mom's average IMO, not tiny], and brags about the fact that she still fits in all her favorite dresses from LAST SUMMER! She was born at the beginning of May, so her last summer dresses have to be like 3mo size! We went out to breakfast with them Sunday and Emily ate tons of fruit, veg, egg and biscuit. Her baby got a few puffs. She also doesn't crawl, barely pulls up, etc. I know those are milestones every baby hits on their own time, but she's over a year and combined with her size, I'm worried that the mom's excitement over having a tiny baby girl may be causing her to hold her back! I didn't give it a second thought until just the last couple months... As time goes on and she stays just as tiny, I'm really getting worried about her! Would you be too, or am I over thinking/judging?
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Re: Legit worry or judgey?

  • I would definitely be a little worried about her. Especially if you've seen what she's given for meals...Though I'm often told that I look for things to worry about...
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  • I think your worry is totally legit!  I would have the same worry.  Do you know if the baby has any other underlying health issues?  Maybe you can somehow ask next time.  Something like "we just took Emily to the MD and can you believe she is in the XX percentile?"  What percentile are you guys these days?  Once she tells you, maybe you can nicely ask if the MD has voiced any concerns.  Or mention how your MD would be concerned, especially since their other baby is so large.

    I am not a meddler, but these types of situations really get to me too.  Good luck.

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  • I have kids on both sides of the growth chart. Caleb was/is tiny and Hunter is huge. However, I was always worried about Caleb's size and encouraged him to eat and nurse. He's just small. He was also meeting milestones early. I think your "friend" could be crazy and I would be judging too
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  • Thanks for the input ladies. I'm not sure what I can do about it, but I guess I'm at least glad to know I'm not crazy for thinking it.

    She only offered puffs at the restaurant. She told me a few months ago, when her baby was probably 10mo or so, that she rarely fed her food at all. She took the "food for fun before age one" thing VERY to heart, and said since she ate healthy and exclusively nursed, the baby was fine with just that. Which is true in theory... If the baby is growing! She said at that point she only fed her food "when she felt like it" and it seems she's still doing it that way. This is not how she did it with her son, he started homemade baby food at 6mo. But this time she read about BLW and claimed to be all for it, she she skipped the purees, but then doesn't really give her real food either. She says her doc says she's fine, but I'm not sure I believe her. She is such a strange character.. Very crunchy in some ways and the complete opposite in others. I can't figure her out, but I'm worried about that baby!
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