Co sleeping effects

Mommytini · June 2013

My baby is 5 weeks old and has been sleeping with my fiance and I for about 2.5 weeks. Before that, I tried a crib, she didn't like it and I was getting no sleep!! Now, she only wakes up twice to feedI breastfeed.

Every email I get and every person I talk to say the same thing about her falling asleep with me right therethat she's going expect it, and it's going to make it feel like hell when she's older.

She is my first and only baby. Is having her sleep with us really going to affect her like that?

KateLouise · June 2013

I think every baby is different. DD1 is very chilled out and go with the flow, so any change to her routine : (night weaning, moving to her own bed, getting rid of the dummy) never took more than 2- 4 nights of a slightly disturbed night.

DD2 is a lot more stubborn and vocal in her protests, so anytime I've even thought about changing things on her I've never persisted past a couple of minutes because it was too upsetting for her, and I wasn't willing to persist.

However, although they took different journeys to get there, when I consider both of them at 16mths (DD2s current age) they are both in the same space in that they STTN in my bed, and DD2 is heading towards being ready to sleep in her own bed, which DD1 did at 18mths.

So I guess my view is that all babies will get there in the end. they'll all follow their own routine, and some babies sleep patterns and habits are more challenging than others.

Some babies are desperate for their own space at 6mths, where as others will still want to be in your bed at 4yrs and beyond.

I say go with what feels right to you now. Any challenges down the track, you can face them when, and as they arise.

JJ_13 · June 2013

I think it totally depends on you and your baby. Some babies transition easily, others don't. We don't cosleep but that's mostly b/c my LO seems to wake more often (and I don't get any sleep) co-sleeping. My best friend co-sleeps and her LO has been incredibly difficult to get out of it... her LO is now 6 years old and still co-sleeping. Part of it, obviously, is that she hasn't been willing to bite the bullet and deal with the difficult nights to get her LO out of her bed. Other people I know co-sleep for the first 6 months, or year, and then transition. For most people, I do think the transition is difficult (of course there are exceptions)... but the upside is that you're getting more sleep now. It is just a trade off.

tokenhoser · June 2013

When DS started to go to bed early in the evening (around 6 months), I started putting him to bed in his crib until he woke up after I was in bed. Then eventually, I started putting him back in the crib rather than just keeping him in bed with me. It wasn't actually a bad transition at all.

Of course now that he's in a "big boy bed", he crawls out at 5:30 and comes to snuggle with me. Perhaps some people think this is a problem (and those people are welcome to go put their kid back to bed), but I kind of like it. Bedsharing worked well for us and I plan to do it again with this baby if she needs/wants it.

Princessmademommy · June 2013

I agree that every baby is different but from my experience it is hell... I love co sleeping with my LO but when she goes to bed, I go to bed, when she naps, I am pinned under her while she sleeps on me! I can't get anything done ever, and no time for myself, as soon as I try to get out of the bed after she is sound asleep, she wakes up. She also has never slept through the night at almost a yea old... I just wrote a blog post about her sleeping story. www.princessmademommy.blogspot.com Do what's best for you and your baby! :

Mommytini · June 2013

I just hate when people tell me that I'm being unsafe with sleeping with her. Also, if we are both getting good sleep and wake up happy, that's what matters, right? Obviously, I don't mind advice. I just don't want my baby to expect, later down the line, that she will be falling asleep with mommy and daddy. No doubt, a big crib without anyone to snuggle with is daunting to a little one. If it comes down to when daddy and I want privacy, the crib would be a safe place for her to be.

BelhurstBride · June 2013

mrscjmb9410:
KateLouise:
So I guess my view is that all babies will get there in the end. they'll all follow their own routine, and some babies sleep patterns and habits are more challenging than others.
Some babies are desperate for their own space at 6mths, where as others will still want to be in your bed at 4yrs and beyond.
I say go with what feels right to you now. Any challenges down the track, you can face them when, and as they arise.
ITA. Do what works for your family, when it doesn't work, do something differently.

I agree with both statements. Do what it takes to survive the beginning months and figure out what works as babe starts to grow.

drcolleen · June 2013

I coslept with both of my girls until they were 9 months at which time we were both getting horrible sleep and *wham* they slept through the night in their own space. There was a study that just came out - I don't have a link- that studied kids starting at 6mo and they came to the conclusion that sleep was pretty genetically influenced and the first time that environment is more influential than genetics is 18mo so that's when they suggest changing sleep pattern if needed.... anyway, long rant to say do what you think is right.

st.augbride · June 2013

drcolleen:
I coslept with both of my girls until they were 9 months at which time we were both getting horrible sleep and *wham* they slept through the night in their own space. There was a study that just came out - I don't have a link- that studied kids starting at 6mo and they came to the conclusion that sleep was pretty genetically influenced and the first time that environment is more influential than genetics is 18mo so that's when they suggest changing sleep pattern if needed.... anyway, long rant to say do what you think is right.

LBF DPT · June 2013

Princessmademommy:
I agree that every baby is different but from my experience it is hell... I love co sleeping with my LO but when she goes to bed, I go to bed, when she naps, I am pinned under her while she sleeps on me! I can't get anything done ever, and no time for myself, as soon as I try to get out of the bed after she is sound asleep, she wakes up. She also has never slept through the night at almost a yea old... I just wrote a blog post about her sleeping story. www.princessmademommy.blogspot.com Do what's best for you and your baby! :

we have the same problem with my son and he is 10 months. plus he is horrible to get to fall asleep

eav2c · June 2013

Every baby and family is different. I wouldn't listen to others and would probably not even let the subject go to bedsharing around others. Can it make it harder in the future? Sure but for me the future possible challenge is worth the fact that I am getting rest and that my child is too. We've changed our bedsharing style up quite a bit and he is being trained to more or less sleep in a toddler bed with our current set up. He can come and go out of the bed as he pleases (he does not have access to any other rooms or anything and it's montessori style) and I think it will help our transition in the future. I wouldn't let others get to you. If it's working and you're doing it safely, then great.

ncbelle · June 2013

The only side effect of safe bed sharing in my house was more sleep for everyone - yay!! We didn't transition to their own beds until toddlerhood which worked well for us. Babies are built to need us in the night whether we sleep with them or have them elsewhere.

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