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Working Moms
jiffy-pop
member
My co-worker/friend just made fun of my kid's name
jiffy-pop
member
in Working Moms
I'm so hurt and angry right now, I just needed a place to vent. I consider myself to be kind of a name Nazi and was talking about a name my cousin was thinking about using for her baby girl. I was standing in my friend's office along with another co-worker (neither of which have anyone related with this name I'm making fun of) and I said that when I think of someone named ___, I didn't see that person as being smart. Now, keep in mind that I'm making fun of a name, not a person. My friend says "and you think Lainey (my 2nd baby girl who is 4 months old) sounds smart?" ...and then she looked at the other girl and let out a huge laugh. She kind of chuckled (she's the type person that just goes along with things), I kind of smiled but I could feel my face getting really hot. Luckily she got a phone call so I had a reason to turn and leave before I started crying.
Now, I realize that Lainey is not everyone's cup of tea for a name. It has special family meaning to me which is one of the reasons I chose it. This "friend" is always the most judgey, back-stabbing, moody, opinionated kind of person. If you don't think the way she does or do the things she does when it comes to work or home life, she will talk about you and think you are weird. I have always tried to be friends with her because we work closely together and have a lot in common (except our personalities). She has said things that hurt my feelings before but I've always let it go. I'm not one to get angry or get my feelings hurt easily. She is just about the only person that really gets under my skin. She acts like my friend one day, then acts like she hates me the next.
Well, the name thing this afternoon just broke the camel's back. I want to say something to her but I'm very non-confrontational. I'm the type person that will bottle it up so that I don't have to deal with the tension of being in a fuss with someone when I come to work. But I really want to make her feel bad for what she said to me and let her know it hurt my feelings.
Married 5/31/08 * TTC#1 9/09 - 2/11
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My co-worker/friend just made fun of my kid's name
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
Well, you know at least one person might use it. How do you know it isn't also coworker's favorite baby girl name or gad daughter's name or something?
Coworker was meaner than necessary, but I think if you're going to have a conversation where the TOPIC is "criticizing other people's taste in baby names" you can't cry foul when your own taste is criticized.
Your coworker wasn't criticizing your daughter's name. She's laughing at a self described "name Nazi" who thinks she's so high and mighty when she really isn't in any special position at all. Either she didn't like your attitude or you inadvertently offended her. Just like on TB, don't dish it if you can't take it.
::lurker::
You were making fun of a name and someone also made fun of a name. You asked for it. If you can't take it don't dish it out.
That being said, I 'm not sure why you've tried so hard to be friends w/ this woman. You clearly don't like her.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Agree, this was not a random attack.
BFP 11/09 - DD 7/10 - BFP 8/11 - M/C 9/11 - BFP 6/12 - DD - 2/13
I agree that you judged and got judged back. She was just calling you out on your behavior.
Yup, have to agree with the PP's on this one. Maybe you will think twice about judging other people's names in the future, because weather your cousin uses the name or not, if she heard what you said about it, she would feel just like you do now.
Rule of thumb, if you won't say it so someones face, don't say it at all.
I think everyone else explained this. I'm just going to say that people make fun of my kids' names all the time. I'm okay with it. I gave my kids unique (not you-neek) names for a reason. I'm confident with my choices, and my kids are adorable,and their names completely fit.
You started out as the one being mean in this conversation. Maybe not directly to a person in the room, but what you were saying is really mean. It's also totally illogical and childish. Obviously what a person is named by their parents does not determine if he or she will be smart.
If you really want to let her know that she hurt your feelings, then tell her that directly. Saying that you "really want to make her feel bad for what she said" is continuing to be childish and mean.
x 1000
Why do people use the word Nazi in this way? Why can't you say "I am judgey about names." This whole thing reminds me of the baby names board where the same posters suggest the same names and anything unique is deemed a nono.
I agree.
I'm sorry that your co-worker/friend insulted your daughter's name, but you got a taste of your own medicine. I'm sure that if your cousin knew what you said, she'd probably feel the way you feel right now.
partial molar pregnancy : bfp 6.28.10, d/c 8.17.10, 7 rounds methotrexate, cleared 7.1.11
alexander patrick : bfp 1.16.12, born 9.20.12 @ 39w1d, 7 lbs./11 oz./22 in.
scarlett irene elizabeth : bfp 5.24.13, born 2.3.14 @ 41w2d, 7 lbs./13 oz./19 in.
I have to agree with other PP's that you just said you were making fun of another name. Regardless of whether or not someone else is going to use that name is moot, making fun of a name is making fun of a name.
Why do you care so much? Is this more about a co-worker that you're having trouble with, or is it really about the name? If it's truly about the name, then get over it and move on, it's childish. If it's more about the co-worker and her behavior on a regular basis, then approach her on her behavior on the whole, and not based on one situation, especially a situation where she can say the same about your name-calling.
This.
How do you know that the name you were making fun of doesn't have meaning for the people you were talking to? Could be a friend's child's name, or an ancestor, or a pet's name, or something. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that NOBODY would ever use it.
I'm not one to get angry or get my feelings hurt easily.
Yes, you are. If you get so upset that you cry when someone doesn't like your daughter's name, you need to get thicker skin.
I kindof agree with this... you were making fun of a name that may be someone who she holds dear to her hearts name.... Is it really okay for you to make fun of a name and then get upset about that.. unless she is just a total biotch normally I would guess she knows someone with the name you were making fun of
Who cares what people think of the name Lainey? That's one person who doesn't think it sounds like a smart name. The problem with naming and all that is that it is so subjective. People will have opinions about every name and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what name your cousin is considering and it doesn't matter what name you name your child. What matters is what is on the inside of that person and your LO is special.
I would seriously consider your co worker relationships. They shouldn't necessarily be your friends and someone with such a different personality who has a tendency to say things to you that are hurtful or they know will get a rise out of you is a RED FLAG that you should only be professional with that person (i.e. don't discuss personal things like baby names). Seriously, consider this.
While it's not a PC term, it's a play off the term "Soup Nazi" if anyone remembers Seinfeld.
The soup nazi did yell but it means more like really rigid/intolerant of things they don't like or that are different, not really yelling. Definitely not PC and used too lightly by most but you do hear people using it in this way for sure.
Fair enough, but I think you have to be Seinfeld/Larry David to pull it off.
And just because it was on TV doesn't make it any less offensive, especially nearly two decades later. I mean, most of our parents probably thought Archie Bunker was quotable. But that was then.
I understand. My coworker made fun of my daughters name too.
Its rude.
Dont let it get to you.
I cannot believe anyone is standing up for the OP in this situation.