Upset about daycare

delino · June 2013

DD isn't even three weeks old and I'm sitting here crying at the thought of leaving her at daycare at 12 weeks. This sucks. I thought I would be ok with it and I know I have a while to adjust, but right at this moment I would like to sell my house and live in my parents basement so I can stay with her. Anyone BTDT and found it was easier when it got closer?

ChloBub · June 2013

((HUGS)) I felt the same way at 3 weeks, but now DD is almost 11 weeks, and I can see it happening now. She won't have to go until August, but I did work 2 days last week and I was fine. I felt ready to leave her, and I actually really enjoyed being at work. I'm sure it will be easier once the time approaches; enjoy your time off until then!

MickeyM04 · June 2013

delino, I'm not going to lie, it only gets harder as it gets closer. And the first week of daycare is TOUGH. That being said it does get easier after awhile. DS loved daycare and the teachers were all great and we were actually hesitant to leave once one of the teachers approached us about being our nanny, that's how much we loved daycare. And this is coming from someone who cried the last week of her maternity leave over the thought of daycare, tried desperately to figure out a way to not go back to work, to hire a nanny, etc. And most parents I've talked to feel the same way...they were terrified to go to daycare and they now LOVE it and if given the opportunity to hire a nanny would not do it. Granted would we all love to stay home, yeah, probably. But your DD will love daycare and she will have great experiences and socialization there and it will be 1 million times harder on you than on her. Trust me.

JulyMomma2U2 · June 2013

Okay so I'll be the debbie downer here -- I posted something similar shortly after DS was born.. I posted a lot on working mom's board, too.. just about not wanting to go back and how I dreaded it despite the fact that I love my job, etc. Like PPs here said, almost all my responses assured me things would get easier, the beginning would be tough, but that we'd all adjust.

I've been back for 7 months and I still feel angry every day that I have to leave DS. I still get sad thinking about everything I'm missing.. I still get jealous thinking about the extra time my family gets to spend with DS (they watch him, not a daycare), etc. I actually cried on my drive in this morning.. as I sat in 2 hours worth of traffic and knew that my DS was playing with my nephews and would be spending the day down at the beach today with my Mom.. while I was going to work.

Everyone is different. Some people absolutely love work and adjust quite easily.. others don't. After DS2 comes, I'm leaving my job and taking a few years off. Sure, it means sacrifices on our end.. but, it's the right decision for me and my family.

I will say though.. at 3w PP, your hormones are still in full swing.. I think after you're back for 2 mos you should have a better idea of how you're adjusting Good luck!! Enjoy all those extra baby snuggles you'll get over the next 9 weeks!!!

Shaungela · June 2013

ive been working since she was 5w old... shes 15w now and it still sucks.

Mom2anAngel2 · June 2013

HUGS. I tried not to think about it until the week before. That was when I had to get myself ready to return to work and DS ready for daycare. I don't think it got easier until we had our routine down. Now it doesn't phase me to drop him off. I know he is well cared for and happy.

ksyknelvr73 · June 2013

Ha, I went through the same emotions when DS was born. I was so overwhelmed with love for him and I was terrified of leaving him. But I got to about week 10 and I was like, "Okay, I'm better now...I want to go back to work". So it definitely took some time but when it actually came, I was fine.

delino · June 2013

Thank you for your responses. If nothing else atleast I know I'm not alone. I keep reminding myself that we want her to have that interaction. Hoping it gets easier in the coming weeks.

hopefulmom81 · June 2013

The night before her first day was AWFUL. I bawled every time I looked at her.

You know what? That first morning, I woke up, showered, put on "real" clothes and dropped her off without a single tear.

For me, I absolutely love being a working mom and have since day one.

The anticipation was SO much worse than the reality.

Izabella22 · June 2013

It didn't get easier for me as we got closer, just the opposite in my case, but you can be proactive to try to make the transition easier on yourself - plan ahead to see if someone else can do dropoff if that will be your responsibility, or maybe have LO stay with a family member the first day or week. See if you can start back work short days or part time the first week or start on a weds so its less days to try to get through. The first few weeks were really tough for me but honestly it does get better. And I know my son loves school and benefits from being with other kids. And that I can raise him the way I want without having to constantly go without or be paranoid about money. Not saying I don't still have days when I want to scrap it all and quit my job, but they are few and far between. Hang in there - long run it does get easier. Just try to enjoy the time you have right now and spend lots of quality time together.

ct103 · June 2013

It gets better. That thought used to rip my heart out too. But now a part of me is actually looking forward to going back to work on July 3rd. I miss the structure, and having a lunch break where I have a whole hour to just enjoy my food!

Once you see your DD grow and change and start engaging with others, you're likely to become more comfortable with it. In the mean time, enjoy this special time with your LO!

krwact · June 2013

Big hugs. I'm right there with you. I get palpitations thinking about it and I'm going down to part time when I go back. Part of it for me is that I feel robbed of the maternity leave I was supposed to have. DS came early which means we're not allowed to have visitors or leave the house except for doctors appts until 2 weeks before I'm supposed to go back. It's just not at all what I had pictured.

I appreciate hearing the honest responses above. I'm hoping we'll be those folks who learn to love the time apart and thrive having our apart time. Right now though, it just makes me sad.

orangegoggles · June 2013

::Hugs:: It was nice to read others thoughts on this issue as it is something I am struggling with. I have been very lucky to SAH with my son from December until September but I find myself already worrying about going back.

My son will be watched by MIL, not daycare but I am considering part time daycare. I fear that I will have serious control issues and resent my MIL. I also worry she will spoil him and not keep to a schedule. Right now she isn't able to get him down for a nap or give him a bottle (I think she gives/or gives up too soon). She's only watched him at most for 2-3 hours but it still makes me nervous. I know she loves him and he will be happy. My feelings range from sadness, jealousy , fear, etc. and I don't have any advice but I understand.

FreyaWin2382 · June 2013

((HUGS)).

It is so hard...I will tell you that my first day back to work (Wyatt was almost 12 weeks) I cried leaving in the morning. But I did find that it got easier while I was at work. Now I still miss him during the day, but it's gotten a little easier.

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