Upset..,,

DreamDisney · June 2013

Too late. What's supposed to be a baby shower and a fun time for me. Everyone has turned it into a nightmare. Who has the bigger ego. Who's planning it and taking charge and who's just gonna help on the side. And coming to me complaining. I don't even want a shower anymore. I have gone the whole 18 weeks without being upset or crying once and someone had to make me. I just want it all to go away [:']

ccgray2012 · June 2013

That happened with a wedding shower we had that was given by the wives of my husbands coworkers. For baby they decided to have it at a girly cafe. No theme, no decorations...but it's a cute place anyways. Just a ladies lunch, gifts and cake. I think it will be a lot better for everyone!

DreamDisney · June 2013

It was the same for my wedding shower. They'd honestly fight over that too. I don't even want one.

Jmo30 · June 2013

I'm an event planner and I see this all the time with my weddings...sometimes you just have to tell them how you really feel so they get it! No one shoud make you upset for any reason over your shower. Appoint one person to just over see the planning and have them go to her with their issues if they all can't get along. You should be left out but it seems you may be allowing them to come to you as a friend but in this case they need to keep their complaints to themselves or not help at all. This is a happy time for you..don't let anyone ruin it!

DreamDisney · June 2013

My sister calls me mad today feeling "left out" when really she was just over reacting. My 2 friends have been very nice and level headed and included her and didn't make it out to be like anyone was superior to another. My mom wants to yell at me. I just don't want one. I don't get why people can't work together. Just so sad that the only thing that has made me cry was on only minutes before my birthday but because everyone else is worried about themselves.

AlisonM12 · June 2013

The same thing happened to me with my bridal shower. It was ruined because grown women couldn't get along. Now when I think about my shower, sadly all I can think about is how people acted so selfishly.

Now I have my baby shower coming up....I told them that I will have absolutely no input and don't want to hear about anything except for the date and guest list. I'm standing firm on this!

Sounds like it would help if you told them all to please leave you out of it and if they have problems to go to the main planner of the party.

DreamDisney · June 2013

CaiShov:
I know this is upsetting and I do feel for you. You deserve to have your moment and cry. But think of it this way, you are blessed to have so many people in your life who love you SO much that they all want to be involved in an event HONORING YOU! Of all the problems in the world to have, I think things could be worse. No one has offered to throw me a baby shower, not one person! I'm finding myself jealous of your problem.

It's still early yet! Maybe they're doing it as a surprise and left you out of it the way it should be haha :] I'm sure you'll have one and stress free!!

DreamDisney · June 2013

melisx33:
Honestly, all they need to talk to you is about what date works best for your shower....that. Is. It. My mom asked about a date for me this past weekend and that's it...I know that is all I'll hear about it except asking me about a guest list. nbsp;I'm currently planning my sister's bachelorette party and her friends are asking her for ideas. I told my sister if anyone goes to her, tell them to come to me. She has NOTHING to do with planning her own event!You need to tell everyone involved that you're thankful for their involvement, but they need to work on this together as it makes it uncomfortable for you.

That's what it came down too last night. Thankfully I think they all get my point. This shower stuff is for the birds!

DreamDisney · June 2013

AlisonM12:
The same thing happened to me with my bridal shower. It was ruined because grown women couldn't get along. Now when I think about my shower, sadly all I can think about is how people acted so selfishly.

Now I have my baby shower coming up....I told them that I will have absolutely no input and don't want to hear about anything except for the date and guest list. I'm standing firm on this!

Sounds like it would help if you told them all to please leave you out of it and if they have problems to go to the main planner of the party.

Unfortunately. That's the argument as to "who" is doing it. Never did I think after the wedding shower it would happen again lol. I'm hoping you have a stress free shower since you stood your ground from the beginning!! :]

hollowway · June 2013

I know its not how things are traditionally done,but this is exactly why we are having our shower here at our house. We are planning it ourselves and only inviting those we really want to be there. It is going to be BBQ/lookout style and coed so all our family and friends come regardless of them being men or women. Children will also be welcome.

DreamDisney · June 2013

equibabe611:
I know its not how things are traditionally done,but this is exactly why we are having our shower here at our house. We are planning it ourselves and only inviting those we really want to be there. It is going to be BBQ/lookout style and coed so all our family and friends come regardless of them being men or women. Children will also be welcome.

That's how I would have loved to do things! I envy you!

NL105 · June 2013

ashleyross:
I get that you're upset, but did you seriously have to post this on 3 different boards?? Come on now.
If you don't want a shower- don't have one. They want to spend time/money/attention on you and celebrate the birth of this new baby. But if it's that "stressful" just decline.

That's what I pointed out to her on the 2nd Tri board/post...which she just now deleted. Indifferent

NL105 · June 2013

ashleyross:
NL105:
ashleyross:
I get that you're upset, but did you seriously have to post this on 3 different boards?? Come on now.
If you don't want a shower- don't have one. They want to spend time/money/attention on you and celebrate the birth of this new baby. But if it's that "stressful" just decline.
That's what I pointed out to her on the 2nd Tri board/post...which she just now deleted.
A DD from DD?? Klassy.
The 2nd Tri post had a bunch of (very honest) responses. It doesn't surprise me that she chose to delete that one.

That's what I thought. Really, what's the point of posting across 3 boards, without even mentioning that it was a cross post. I think she was digging for sympathy and/or responses to her liking.

DreamDisney · June 2013

I was done with it. Not a big deal. Move on. The people that were polite enough to respond. Did. If we weren't "allowed" to delete once we are done with it then the bump wouldn't allow it. Now if you're not creeping on the other board seeing as how you have nothing better to do... Get over it. Move on.

mockingjay · June 2013

NL105:
ashleyross:
I get that you're upset, but did you seriously have to post this on 3 different boards?? Come on now.
If you don't want a shower- don't have one. They want to spend time/money/attention on you and celebrate the birth of this new baby. But if it's that "stressful" just decline. 
That's what I pointed out to her on the 2nd Tri board/post...which she just now deleted.

You object to her having posted it, and you object to her deleting it? I don't get it.
I agree that if you're posting things multiple places you should be upfront about it, though.
OP, I think you should gently but firmly tell all of them how you feel. If you really are serious about possibly not wanting a shower, get them together and say something like,
"I really appreciate that all of you want to honor me and bless me by giving me a shower. I want to be excited about it, but I'm having a hard time because you are fighting. It's making me so sad and distressed that you can't get along and that you're fighting about something that should be something happy, that I am feeling like I don't really want to shower if it's going to cause you to fight. Maybe you just can't do it without fighting with each other. If that's the case, I at least request that you not come to me with any issues regarding the shower. It doesn't help you, and it really stresses me. If you can't work it out among yourselves, without involving me, I will sadly request that you cancel it."

Only say if if you really mean it and are willing to follow through, though!

DreamDisney · June 2013

mockingjay:
NL105:
ashleyross:
I get that you're upset, but did you seriously have to post this on 3 different boards?? Come on now.
If you don't want a shower- don't have one. They want to spend time/money/attention on you and celebrate the birth of this new baby. But if it's that "stressful" just decline. 
That's what I pointed out to her on the 2nd Tri board/post...which she just now deleted.

You object to her having posted it, and you object to her deleting it? I don't get it.
I agree that if you're posting things multiple places you should be upfront about it, though.
OP, I think you should gently but firmly tell all of them how you feel. If you really are serious about possibly not wanting a shower, get them together and say something like,
"I really appreciate that all of you want to honor me and bless me by giving me a shower. I want to be excited about it, but I'm having a hard time because you are fighting. It's making me so sad and distressed that you can't get along and that you're fighting about something that should be something happy, that I am feeling like I don't really want to shower if it's going to cause you to fight. Maybe you just can't do it without fighting with each other. If that's the case, I at least request that you not come to me with any issues regarding the shower. It doesn't help you, and it really stresses me. If you can't work it out among yourselves, without involving me, I will sadly request that you cancel it."

Only say if if you really mean it and are willing to follow through, though!

Thank you :]

agentkitten75 · June 2013

equibabe611:
I know its not how things are traditionally done,but this is exactly why we are having our shower here at our house. We are planning it ourselves and only inviting those we really want to be there. It is going to be BBQ/lookout style and coed so all our family and friends come regardless of them being men or women. Children will also be welcome.

You and I are on the same page! It makes it so much more enjoyable!

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