XP - Toddler demanding to nurse

nosoup4u · June 2013

Hey all, I'm posting this on the BFing board, also.

TL;DR version: DS2 is on the cusp of being totally weaned, but demands to nurse during the day and doesn't take no for an answer. I emotionally can't handle nursing him anymore.

DS2 is 2.5 and all but weaned. He was down to nursing on each side for a minute every night, and then he stopped asking for that, even. He would go a few days without nursing, and I would be certain he was totally done. But then he would have moments of wanting to have "mama meal" and screaming at me if I said no. The problem is, I really need to be done nursing him, I have really grown to hate it, and it makes me straight-up angry when he demands to nurse. So I tried cutting him off cold-turkey, which has seemed to make things worse. I just had to leave a room bc all he did was pester me about nursing when I saw him for the first time this morning. Distraction, or offering hugs and kisses and cuddles all don't seem to work.

A few more details - I work half days, I lie with him at bedtime while he falls asleep, and I decided to let him nurse again but only at bedtime. He nursed a few nights, but again, last night he didn't ask and I didn't offer. I've also been trying to compromise by letting him pat my boobs, but that turns into me asking him to not put his hand down my shirt and massage them. He is in that VERY bossy 2-yr-old stage, too.

Ack! Sorry for the rambling post. TIA for any ideas/advice/experience.

nosoup4u · June 2013

wife07mom09:
Stop laying down with him at bedtime. Hug, kiss, read books night. Night and leave
Can DH out him to bed for a while?
I do understand, I am trying to wean my 13 mo old and am just done. He is also having a hard time and I am down to 1 or 2 sessions a day. I is hard but give yourself a break

He has major temper tantrums with DH instead of me at bedtime. And he can carry on for hours with screaming(DS, not DH, ha ha ha). Lying down isn't even a problem, in all honesty, bc he knows if he acts crazy I won't lay by him.

And the nursing demands are more before lights go out, or at random times, and not taking no as an answer.

Yeah, I nursed DS1 until about 2.5, but he was much easier to soothe in other ways and not as bossy about it as DS2.

boogerbearoriginal · June 2013

You mentioned offering affection but perhaps he's asking to nurse out of thirst/hunger too? Have you tried offering a drink or snack when he asks? Granted I've not weaned, just heard from others this sometimes helps.

If you're truly done, I would stop giving in to him because it's only going to encourage him to keep asking because he knows sometimes you let him. And if patting is only leading to problems I wouldn't offer that either. Just matter of fact, no you may not nurse. And leave it at that. Or ask him, what would you like instead? Perhaps he can offer up an alternative that is agreeable to you.

Good luck!

Emerald27 · June 2013

Offering alternatives, be them affection or food or books/playtime, can help. You can also try explaining to him that they are empty or they're asleep, i.e. they've gone "night night". He might be more understanding of a reason why rather than just plain no.

I applaud you for nursing him 2.5 years! Great job, mama! And it is also so great that you're seeking to help him wean gently and lovingly. Kudos!

ncbelle · June 2013

I agree with the suggestion to offer water instead and to not allow any contact (as I think that will make it harder on you both) - wear a shirt that makes it hard for him to get to them. I think 2.5 is old enough to start to reason with - "if you'd like me to lay with you while you go to sleep, you can't fuss about nursing" - or at least I do this with Eleanor and it mostly works.

nosoup4u · June 2013

Yes, offering water or a snack works sometimes. As does trying to distract him. I will definitely try asking him what he wants to do instead.

I feel like he's coming from a place of wanting comfort and cuddles from me, but he doesn't know what we can do besides nurse, if that makes sense. I try to hug and kiss him more, which he does love. V cuddly kid! But he's just so so so much more demanding than his brother, man alive.

Aaand he didn't even actually nurse today, hee hee. This whole situation seems to have no pattern or trigger, which I think is what's driving me batty.

Thanks guys!!

jeska511 · June 2013

I nurserd till 20 mths. My last weaning was at night time and solo dofficult becauae he used me as a pacifer to fall asleep and when he woke through the night. Honestly, it took alot of the throwing fits to get him weaned. I would try to distract him with affection and a disney movie or something. Also, what kind of cup does your LO drink out of when hes not nursing? Getting my son into using big boy cups, drinks, etc helped alot. The solution of offering another drink and maybe referring to IT as momma drink might help?! But I agree, try not to give in. Like always, consistency is key... Even if dries you crazy at times

lol but goodluck!!!

Want a personalized experience?

XP - Toddler demanding to nurse

Re: XP - Toddler demanding to nurse

Choose Another Board

Search Boards