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Natural Birth
KatetheGreat79
member
question for experienced hypnobabies moms
KatetheGreat79
member
I just started my hypnobabies home study, and some of the affirmations are actually bringing up guilt and fear in me. The ones about trusting my body to grow a perfectly healthy baby and trusting myself to eat perfectly healthy for my baby. I'm a stress eater, and I have not had the greatest eating habits at times during this pregnancy. Also, I've had to take my fair share of medicine during this pregnancy due to a car wreck, nausea, pneumonia, etc. I think I have a deep fear that some of my choices could have hurt the baby or made the environment for a healthy baby less than optimal. When these affirmation come up, they make me feel guilty and worried as opposed to relaxed and comfortable. Do you think this will fade over time? Do you think these feelings will cause the program to be less successful or effective for me?
It's fairly easy for me to accept the affirmation about birthing, it's just the others that are brining up guilt and fear.
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Re: question for experienced hypnobabies moms
Thanks for your reply and your advice. I like the idea of just letting them slide by in my awareness. I also like how you described them as aspirational. I think looking at them in that way will help me.
I had a c section with my eldest son and a hyphobirthing vbac with number two (the Marie Mongon method) which includes affirmations and other similar techniques to hypnobabies. During both pregnancies I had to take a lot of medication because of a serious pelvic pain disease. With baby number one I had a difficult pregnancy with bed rest and an early delivery with time in the NICU. The hospital didn't respect a single thing on our birth plan (not only fed our breast only baby formula but screwed up and gave him 5 times the amount u r supposed to which made him sick) they were short handed and "couldn't get around" to bringing the baby to me so I didn't even see him for 6 hours- (my husband was with him) during which time none of them even noticed he was having trouble breathing- within minutes of having him in my arms WE noticed and got a nurse which in turn led to the NICU. OK I could go on and on but as you can see I had a lot of anxiety surrounding birth number one.
I got a lot of push back from my family regarding my wish to have a vbac and my mom told me I would probably become incontinent and bunch of other whooey because she felt out of control and was scared for me. We had a huge fight bc I didn't want to go see a nurse practitioner that my aunt met in a jewelry store and told my story to. We weren't speaking and I literally didn't know who would watch my three year old when I went into labor. I was a freaking wreck.
In the end I had a completely healthy pregnancy, an almost textbook delivery (he had the cord wrapped arpoud his head and distress at the end) and ds2 arrived a week after his guess date as healthy as they come. I still grin when I think about how it felt to push im out. I labored at home for two days in total comfort, just listening to my hpno tapes and relaxing inn bed till I was 7 1/2 cm and told my husband I wanted to be in the hospital RIGHT THE HECK NOW! The method was REALLY useful to me and I slept thru almost all of my prep work- I just turned it on before bed and before my naps everyday and somehow it got in there cause it put me right to sleep in labor too. The hospital was incredibly respectful of our wishes and totally supportive of breasfeeding. No one took my baby away (my big fear) excpet a quick check because of his distress. All my fears were for naught. Sometimes I wonder if I worried myself right onto bed rest the first time around (and just didn't have time for it with ds2).
Your hypnobabies instructor should be able to provide or point you towards someone who can do a session with you to help your fears. I can't remember what the name of the hypnobirthing private anxiety session was but the help and support is there for you. A doula can also talk you thru these feelings or suggest someone who can. You don't have to go thru this alone. I recommend reminding yourself that you have chosen your doctor and other professionals with great care and that they are watching out for you guys. They will tell you if what you are taking is endangering your baby and all you can do is trust them.
Not sure if I should share this but- when ds1 came and he was in the nicu one of the nurses really let me have it and told me he was in there because of one of my meds. Later in the week she read my intake form and apologized, saying she didn't realize how sick I am. Anyhow I was a WRECK and told DH we were never ever having another baby because I couldn't stand what I had done to our son by being on the meds and what he told me really helped- if it weren't for you taking those medications he wouldn't even be here. You gave him life and he is glad for it- not mad that he is sleeping in the NICU. I literally could not have carried him without the medication. IF you aren't ok then your baby has no shot- so if you need medicine, then he needs you to take that medicine. I went off of my meds in the first tri and i was in so much pain I stopped eating and sleeping (with both pregnancies) and guess what pain and stress is worse for a baby in the womb than pain meds (stress hormones are bad stuff). My second pregnancy was with a very "natural" OB and even he told me to go back on my meds because I wasn't do my baby (or ds1) any good by being such a mess.
We all want to give the absolute best to our kids. Guess what- right now and for the rest of both of your lives you are going to give him the best that YOU CAN- and it won't always be perfect. You might not be able to afford the "perfect" preschool or private college or whatever but you will send him to the one that is the best you can afford, you will give them everything you can and they will be glad of it (except when they are teens) because you love them. LIfe just isn't perfect and you have to cut yourself a break.
Maybe the food is a place you can take some control of and minimize some of your bad feelings by saying- I have to take these meds but I am gong to eat vegetables and fruit. When you stress eat try to make a healthier choice with boiled eggs, raw veggies, yogurt, I love frozen cherries and mangos instead of ice cream- you get the picture. No reason to feel guilty about what has already passed your lips but this is under your control and you can make some better choices to counter act the things outside of your control.
I had a c section with my eldest son and a hyphobirthing vbac with number two (the Marie Mongon method) which includes affirmations and other similar techniques to hypnobabies. During both pregnancies I had to take a lot of medication because of a serious pelvic pain disease. With baby number one I had a difficult pregnancy with bed rest and an early delivery with time in the NICU. The hospital didn't respect a single thing on our birth plan (not only fed our breast only baby formula but screwed up and gave him 5 times the amount u r supposed to which made him sick) they were short handed and "couldn't get around" to bringing the baby to me so I didn't even see him for 6 hours- (my husband was with him) during which time none of them even noticed he was having trouble breathing- within minutes of having him in my arms WE noticed and got a nurse which in turn led to the NICU. OK I could go on and on but as you can see I had a lot of anxiety surrounding birth number one.
I got a lot of push back from my family regarding my wish to have a vbac and my mom told me I would probably become incontinent and bunch of other whooey because she felt out of control and was scared for me. We had a huge fight bc I didn't want to go see a nurse practitioner that my aunt met in a jewelry store and told my story to. We weren't speaking and I literally didn't know who would watch my three year old when I went into labor. I was a freaking wreck.
In the end I had a completely healthy pregnancy, an almost textbook delivery (he had the cord wrapped arpoud his head and distress at the end) and ds2 arrived a week after his guess date as healthy as they come. I still grin when I think about how it felt to push im out. I labored at home for two days in total comfort, just listening to my hpno tapes and relaxing inn bed till I was 7 1/2 cm and told my husband I wanted to be in the hospital RIGHT THE HECK NOW! The method was REALLY useful to me and I slept thru almost all of my prep work- I just turned it on before bed and before my naps everyday and somehow it got in there cause it put me right to sleep in labor too. The hospital was incredibly respectful of our wishes and totally supportive of breasfeeding. No one took my baby away (my big fear) excpet a quick check because of his distress. All my fears were for naught. Sometimes I wonder if I worried myself right onto bed rest the first time around (and just didn't have time for it with ds2).
Your hypnobabies instructor should be able to provide or point you towards someone who can do a session with you to help your fears. I can't remember what the name of the hypnobirthing private anxiety session was but the help and support is there for you. A doula can also talk you thru these feelings or suggest someone who can. You don't have to go thru this alone. I recommend reminding yourself that you have chosen your doctor and other professionals with great care and that they are watching out for you guys. They will tell you if what you are taking is endangering your baby and all you can do is trust them.
Not sure if I should share this but- when ds1 came and he was in the nicu one of the nurses really let me have it and told me he was in there because of one of my meds. Later in the week she read my intake form and apologized, saying she didn't realize how sick I am. Anyhow I was a WRECK and told DH we were never ever having another baby because I couldn't stand what I had done to our son by being on the meds and what he told me really helped- if it weren't for you taking those medications he wouldn't even be here. You gave him life and he is glad for it- not mad that he is sleeping in the NICU. I literally could not have carried him without the medication. IF you aren't ok then your baby has no shot- so if you need medicine, then he needs you to take that medicine. I went off of my meds in the first tri and i was in so much pain I stopped eating and sleeping (with both pregnancies) and guess what pain and stress is worse for a baby in the womb than pain meds (stress hormones are bad stuff). My second pregnancy was with a very "natural" OB and even he told me to go back on my meds because I wasn't do my baby (or ds1) any good by being such a mess.
We all want to give the absolute best to our kids. Guess what- right now and for the rest of both of your lives you are going to give him the best that YOU CAN- and it won't always be perfect. You might not be able to afford the "perfect" preschool or private college or whatever but you will send him to the one that is the best you can afford, you will give them everything you can and they will be glad of it (except when they are teens) because you love them. LIfe just isn't perfect and you have to cut yourself a break.
Maybe the food is a place you can take some control of and minimize some of your bad feelings by saying- I have to take these meds but I am gong to eat vegetables and fruit. When you stress eat try to make a healthier choice with boiled eggs, raw veggies, yogurt, I love frozen cherries and mangos instead of ice cream- you get the picture. No reason to feel guilty about what has already passed your lips but this is under your control and you can make some better choices to counter act the things outside of your control.
Mine:
You can do anything for 30 seconds.
We want this baby and this is how we will get to meet our baby.
We have this much closer to meeting our baby.
For me I think it will be focusing on the end goal, I don't want him to be all mush my about how I did things right or wrong during pregnancy. But just staying focuses on breathing, getting through each contraction one at a time and ultimately meeting our baby!
Don't let it bother you if a "plan" someone else developed doesn't work exactly for you. Find what you like and leave out or let what you don't like just roll off.
This is so true! We are using hypnobabies with this LO, and I have been listening to tracks before bed. I organize them on my iPod in playlists, and always put the affirmations after the relaxation session. I personally get annoyed if I have to listen to all the affirmations every.single.day, but I have found that if I do it while I am sleeping, I do wake up feeling more positive, and I think the positive messages stick with me better. But the home study course is just a general guide. Do what makes you comfortable and happy. Record your own affirmations that are personal for you and use those instead. Or just repeat positive ones to yourself throughout the day.
Don't worry if you don't do everything in the course perfectly. Your mind will take in exactly what you need! GL, I wish you the best in your birthing time!