4 month old. Help!

Wrightmom10 · June 2013

My husband and I took in a young pregnant mother almost a year ago. We are helping her get on her feet, finish high school and get into college. Her LO is now 4 months old and all she does is scream. Constantly! She hates the car, swing, bouncer, bumbo, tummy time and everything! I'm at a loss as what to do. My LO is 2 and I never had this problem with him. If you pick her up she is fine but with her mother working and myself currently expecting also chasing my LO I refuse to hold her constantly. She won't roll over, babble, play or anything because she is so busy screaming. Has anyone had this happen before or know any solutions?

downtown80 · June 2013

Some babies just need to be held. If you are the caregiver for the baby while the mother is away, I think you need to do whatever you can to keep the baby calm.

My 2nd isn't to the point that you describe, but he definitely likes being held. My first almost seemed happier when she wasn't being held. Point is that all kids are different and you need to modify your approach for each one.

ETA: I think it's very admirable what you've done to help this young mother. But if you are caring for the child in her absence, you are responsible for calming her. If I found out that my DCP refused to hold my child because he was screaming all day, I would be very upset.

this decaf life · June 2013

DD was kind of a screamer, once we found a toy she really liked though she started doing much better on her own. She has both the owl & lamb of this toy --> https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Hug-Hide-Activity/dp/B0042RU2UA/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1370134033&sr=1-1&keywords=owl

They make chiming/squeaking/crinkling noises, have a few different textures and two different teethers. She'll lay on the floor playing for quite some time. I can put her down with one of those and she'll entertain herself for about 30 minutes now. DD got better about not needing to be held all the time in the past like 2 weeks so hopefully you're getting close!

I also meant to add - I think it's great you're helping out!

orangegoggles · June 2013

I think it's wonderful that you are helping this woman. You will make such a difference in her and her daughter's future!

First I would rule out reflux, gas, or any other medical issues but Some babies just need to be held more than others. I would try to wear the baby in a sling or carrier. It might help soothe her until she grows out of this stage.

Who will watch the baby when you deliver and for the few weeks of recovery time?

Wrightmom10 · June 2013

Thanks for the advice on the toy. I am willing to try anything at this point. My son is extremely advanced so I never had this problem with him. He was crawling at this age. So it has been a huge lesson not comparing them. I love her like my own. We set up a appointment for next week but she has no symptoms. It has been like this since she was born but has progressively gotten worse. We hold her when we can but I can't sit and rock her all day. And I have several more months til delivery so honestly it hasn't crossed my mind yet. Her mother was never given the chance to succeed and we just want the best for both of them. Thank you for the suggestions! :

jdveatch · June 2013

Do you have an activity mat? Our LO loves them. One is a Bright Starts one and has lights and music. I picked up another one at a consignment sale & he likes it, too. The other thing he likes is his O Ball. He can grasp it, hold it, etc.

kerbear135 · June 2013

have you or the Mom tried babywearing? If LO wants/needs to be held to be content, you all could try a sling or soft side carrier (we love our Ergo) and maybe wear the baby around the house some until LO grows out of this phase.

Wrightmom10 · June 2013

She has a play mat but has no interest in playing or anything. We have a sling and a back pack. She is content in them for about 20 mins and then she wants out.

divajackie67 · June 2013

It sounds like she's tired to me. Is she getting a good night's sleep or good naps? I found my son only screams and cries excessively when he's tired. Babies at 4 months need at least 14 hours of sleep per day.

VPGIRL06 · June 2013

she is too old to be constantly screaming-it's definitely not colic. If an activity mat or something doesn't help, I would look at the following

is she sleeping enough? I've heard a lot of babies that are colicky well beyond the colic stage (3w-12w) calm down ALOT once they start sleeping
Reflux-does she seem to have issues with bottles?
Gas
Ask a pediatrician. Again, babies at 4 months should only be crying maybe 1 hour a day at the most (maybe a couple for more sensitive babies) sinec they're more adjusted to the world outside-a baby that constantly screams is having a problem. It could be confusion as well regarding caregiver/mom

meaglamillion · June 2013

Maybe try swaddling and other calming methods. She sounds over tired.

st.augbride · June 2013

Was she born early? Colic can actually last beyond 3 months, especially if the baby was born early since you'd go by adjusted age. I would definitely rule out GI issues. What do the diapers looks like? Reflux is extremely common at this age, and for some, treatment is very necessary. Ds needed to go on prevacid at this age (and still needs it at almost 2.5 yrs). Dd is 4 months adjusted and she is quite the screamer. She doesn't really cry, just yells a lot, lol. She needs to be held a ton, but is doing better with being set down for a while now if the conditions are right (the patio outside or watching ds buys us lots of play time; play mat does NOT!). I do wear her a lot in a baby carrier which helps. If I were you, I'd check out reflux and possible other GI upsets (intolerances to dairy, soy, etc...), sleep conditions, and then if all else fails, other activities/soothing mechanisms and just time. Some babies don't outgrow this for another few months.

MonicaClaire13 · June 2013

Collic?

BFing or FFing?
Sometimes if you've switched formulas it messes them up, sometimes they just start needing more, could be gassiness
Sometimes, my daughter just wants to be held
I'm not sure what it is. Some baby's just need touch to be calmed, she probably misses her mother and is more aware when she's gone now
If I leave a room, DD knows, and if she's not ok with it I KNOW
It's not easy I know, I'm working on my feet all day or trying to clean and cook and I can't do all that I need to while holding her, but I can't just leave her there either

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