LGBT Parenting

Potential setback :( (long)

So when we had our autopsy for our loss, it was clear the cause of death was an umbilical cord clot, rare and a fluke, it's not likely to happen again and basically is just bad luck.

However - in the midst of that, we also did a karyotype of the baby. He was perfect except there was a small 'find' in terms of a chromosomal deletion on one of his strands of his second chromosome. In other words, one of our donors is essentially a carrier of a small deletion on Chromosome 2. This area impacts kidneys, and causes some pretty gnarly physical and mental conditions that no one would want to sign up for. However, BOTH donors would have to have the EXACT same deletion for any affliction to show up. In the case of our lost baby, he would not have had anything wrong with him - but would have been a carrier of this deletion - which apparently many of us have small deletions like this.

The good news is for both donors to have the exact same deletion is like 1 in a million kind of odds. Lots of people have a small deletion, it's just super rare they happen to mate with someone who has that same deletion.

So last night my RE got around to reading everything now that we finished up my adhesion surgery and I am on track to begin my 'real' FET cycle on the 18th. She called last night and said "Well, I don't think we should call this 'nothing'..." and had a few recommendations for us.

So, first step is testing our egg donor, who happened to be in the clinic for a blood draw for something else earlier this week, and my RE said they took her sample and already sent off a karyotyping request on her (their expense) to see if she is the carrier of this deletion. They also notify CCB so they can reach out and hopefully do the same testing on our sperm donor. Of course we all know sperm donors come and go - so it's not a sure thing they will get that test done/have that result.

So - if our egg donor is negative, we basically know that the same thing could happen which we are ok with - our baby could be a carrier of this deletion (25% chance) as the sperm donor would be the one who passed it on. It is also possible that it was just a cosmic thing that happened when that egg met that sperm and would not recur. The bad thing would be if our egg donor is a carrier, then we have the risk that our sperm donor has the same issue - in which case we'd have to look at waiting for his testing to come back, or, PGD our embies which I'm not even sure how to go about since they are already frozen.

The second recommendation was to have my further tested for clotting factors/issues. So I had a blood draw today to get that going. And finally, she said we should talk to their genetic counselor regardless just to understand the whole thing better - esp. if our donor does come back as the carrier.

Oy. Something tells me it will all turn out ok. But it is just stressful to have another potential wrench in our plans, but of course, we don't want to knowingly bring a little life into the world only to suffer. Our MFM didn't seem to think a thing of it; but I suppose our RE thinks differently since they provided the egg donor. They said if she is a carrier, they won't use her anymore - she's done 5 or 6 cycles and loves doing it, so I hope she's not the problem!

Sorry, long ramble for a Friday...

Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

It's been a long road to here...
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


imageimageimageimage

Re: Potential setback :( (long)

  • Ugh, how frustrating!  I agree with you that I think all will be fine in the end, and I am also glad your RE is being so proactive about everything so that you can be confident about the quality of those embies.  But I also know how eager you are to get baby-makin' again.

    FWIW, there was someone on the IF board who had her frozen embies defrosted, PGD'd, and refrozen after she had multiple losses, so it is possible.  I think about half of them survived, but she did get pregnant on the next FET with one of them.

    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • KH826KH826 member

    I am so sorry to hear this - you have been through so much! 

    It is so understandable that you would be frustrated, but you are right that it is better to find out now and deal with it to avoid future complications. 

    Someday you will have a beautiful, healthy, loving baby - I just know it! Keeping you in my thoughts. I will be anxiously awaiting your next update. Hugs!  

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • Loading the player...
  • Ah 2mamaz, I'm so sorry to hear about this potential setback. Always good to have all the info possible, but I hope the results will come back and give you a GO! We are pulling for you!!!
    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
  • So sorry to hear things aren't going as planned.... as much as it sucks I hope some of the extra testing and knowledge brings you guys more peace of mind when you are ready to move forward with your FET... Thinking about you guys!
    Same sex couple, Married 8/6/11
    Baby Oliver born 11/27/13

    TTC stats with donor sperm...
    IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
    IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
    IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"