Community› The Bump Message Boards› Secondary IF
Secondary IF
New Discussion

Terrible IF week- long

mrsbnlmelmrsbnlmel member
in Secondary IF

I just need to vent. I hope someone wants to listen!  IUI #2 didn't go as planned and we ended up having to do TI with hcg trigger since I didn't respond well enough. The Dr. thought we should "save our money for injects next month." Ugh. For some reason I thought maybe, just maybe it would be our miracle though. 

I have tested the trigger out in the past so I felt like I was in the clear and at 13 days past trigger, 12dpo, I tested. Faint BFP! I thought this was finally our month, though I tried to be guarded on the off chance it was still the trigger. Then I started spotting and the next morning BFN. Somehow, I'm the lucky one that still has the trigger in my system for 14 days. And I put myself through that heartache. I didn't have to test and I did. I gave in. I'm so mad at myself!

I tried to just move on and I had my injectable training scheduled at the RE yesterday. They called at the very last minute and cancelled my appointment. They said they were closing the whole practice for the day. It seemed so odd. They never close! I called back this AM. I'm CD2 and needed my baseline and to do this training to prep for meds tomorrow. When I called the nurse was in tears. I knew something wasn't right. Our RE passed away. It was sudden and unexpected. He was only 52. I'm just so, so sad. It's a very small practice. Just Dr. Stewart and his NP and a handful of RNs. They are like a family and treat you as a part of it. I'm just devastated for them and for the family he leaves behind. 

I know in the midst of all of that our IF journey is so unimportant, but this puts us on a forced break for at least a couple of weeks as well. I'll start BCP tomorrow so I can restart my cycle and hopefully start Follistim in a couple of weeks. My husband is convinced these are signs that we just need to throw in the towel. The universe is telling us to stop. I just can't get there yet. I just can't give up on this dream. Just a sad, sad week for so many reasons. 

PCOS dx 2008 | BFP #1 2/26/2009 with Metformin
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
Report Reply to Post

Re: Terrible IF week- long

  • AprilDrew04AprilDrew04 member

    That is a terrible week.  So sorry that you are going through all this.  

    Try to do something you wouldn't normally do during your break.  Something that can make you feel at least a little better.  

     

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 

    DD conceived after 3 years of ttc.
    MFI - DH had varicocele repair and took Clomid to get DD b. 02/2010

    TTC #2 since 6/2010
    10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
    A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013. 
    DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair. 
    Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies. 
    Wishing, hoping, waiting.


    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickersLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • jennbean79jennbean79 member
    Oh my gosh, I go to dr Stewart as well and literally just read the letter that came in the mail today to inform me of his death. It's just so crazy! I had a consult scheduled with him Wednesday morning, and when we got there they said he had gone home sick so we met with a nurse instead. Then when I checked out I saw him down the hall and he waved. So weird! Do you have any idea what happened?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • CeCe8579CeCe8579 member
    I am so sorry! Hugs!!!
    Carly
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          


    Potato Launcher


    Report Reply
  • MJC1116MJC1116 member
    I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry about everything that has happened. I agree with April... try to find something that is a special treat during this month that will make the break a little easier. 
    DH & I: 29
    TTC #1 4/2009 -  DD 2/5/10
    TTC #2 since October 2011
    2IF issues
    7/2013 - IUI #1: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFN
    8/2013 - IUI #2: 50 units Follistim +  Ovidrel  = BFP! Beta #1 (12 dpiui) 8/21: 45  Beta #2 (16 dpiui) 8/26: 301 Beta #3 (21 dpiui) 8/30: 1,929. 1st Ultrasound 9/4 - One perfect sac. 2nd Ultrasound 9/13 - Heartbeat at 124 bpm! Anniversary  

    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • slstine19slstine19 member
    Wow, so sorry to hear this.  I know it must be very hard on both of you since it is hard to find a RE that you feel comfortable and confident in.  Thinking of you guys.
    Report Reply
  • KaselleckKaselleck member
    I'm so sorry. Thinking of you
    Report Reply
  • mlampingmlamping member
    So sorry. Sending hungs
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • tryingyetagaintryingyetagain member
    I'm so sorry.  You have had a rough week, and it's so sad that your RE passed away.  I hope you are able to get away from the IF issues for a bit, and take your mind off of it.

    Me: 42. DH: 46.

    1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

    2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

    3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

    4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

    5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

    Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

    August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
    Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
    Baby is due 4/26/14

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker

    Report Reply
  • mrsbnlmelmrsbnlmel member

    Thanks so much for the support ladies. You are all so wonderful. I'm so happy to have this board in hard times like this. You have no idea how much it means to me. I'm just so impressed this many people read my rambling post! :) I will try and take your advice and do something special on this break. 

    Jenn- I'm not sure. Celeste said it was sudden and unexpected. I spoke with both her and Traci. Both were in tears. I didn't ask anything more. They were just going through the motions trying to figure out how to move forward. The conversations were brief. I've been trying to keep and eye on their facebook to see if they are doing an open memorial service.

    Do you know his wife? Dr. Martinez at Women's Health Associates has been my OBGYN for many years. I'm gathering from a few comments that Cindy, her primary nurse, was his wife. I wondered if you knew. I have known Cindy for so long but I had no idea! I'm just so sad for all of them. Such kind people...terrible. 

    PCOS dx 2008 | BFP #1 2/26/2009 with Metformin
    Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
    Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
    BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
    TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
    3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
    Report Reply
  • jennbean79jennbean79 member
    mrsbnlmel - YGPM
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"