Nursing to sleep problems

vagabondheather · May 2013

I am getting really frustrated. As LO gets older (just 6 months) I feel like I just do not know what she wants. She typically can only stay awake during the day about 2 hours before needing a nap. She needs to nurse or have bottle to nap or go to bed. Occasionally she will turn away as if done and I can rock her to sleep the rest of the way and put her in crib. Occasionally.

Problem I have been having is a) here is no schedule to her day and she gets up at different times which throws different dynamics into each day b)sometimes I nurse her because she has been yawning and rubbing her eyes and she will get sleepy but then start getting tummy pains and will start freaking out. She wants to nurse because she is tired, but she is full and getting upset. I just started solids and this is getting worse. She wants to nurse, i give her a little puree and hour later, then she wants to nurse to nap and is too full and upset.

I honestly do not know what to do. She will not take paci and seems like even sucking her thumb upsets her. I have tried just putting her down knowing she is full and sleep, but no dice. I would love to get her on a routine, but feel we have been so all over the place I don't know where to start.

Any ideas on how to move forward? Do they outgrow nursing to sleep? I really wanted to start weaning from breast soon as I have an opportunity to go back to old job.

mben1119 · May 2013

Being up for about 2 hours at a time is pretty normal at 6 months. Needing to eat to go to sleep is normal as well.

By tummy pains, do you mean she's gassy? Have you tried gas drops?

As for starting a routine, keep it loose. Its really hard to put a young baby on a schedule, as their needs change so often with teething, growth spurts, developmental leaps. It sounds like you're doing everything right.

mz07 · May 2013

My baby had some problems like this a bit before she turned 4 months, and I read the Happiest Baby Sleep Book. That really helped for me and solidified an idead I was moving towards on my own, which is that babies need a routine, but that's different than a schedule.

There has been, understandibly, a backlash agains the schedules demanded by doctors and moms in the 1950s, where you feed the baby every 4 hours no matter what, even if they were screaming with hunger. So we don't do that anymore, but babies still need the consistency of a routine. My baby wakes up at all different times too, but when I turn the white noise on, sing her some lullabys, rub cream into her legs, and read good night moon, she knows it's time for bed, whether it's 7pm because she didn't nap well and is exhausted, or 8pm becuase we had to run an errand after work and got home late. And I nurse her to sleep too, but always put her down 'awake' by kissing her feet and belly until she opens her eyes and looks at me. Then I tell her good night, I love you.

Maybe you're already doing some of these things (hard to tell from your post) but it also seems like somedays you try to put her down without nursing, some days you nurse her, sometimes she's eaten solids, which are harder to digest. She's probably not sure what she needs or wants, either! You need to tell her. Also, from what I"ve read, solids at your baby's age is just to introduce the concept of solid food, not to satisfy hunger. If she's really hungry, giver her milk or formula.

Hope this helps! I know it did for me when I started thinking about routine!! GL!

kwill3104 · May 2013

I had this problem with my LO when he was younger (he is 5 months now). We decided to try to get him out of the habit of needing to nurse to sleep during the day and switched it up by sticking to Eat, Play, Sleep. I would nurse him but then burp him and transition into play time right afterwards to keep him awake. Once he showed signs of feeling sleepy (rubbing his eyes, yawning, etc) we could take him up to the nursery, rock him, and put him down for a nap. It only took a little bit to get him into this routine and now the only time I nurse him to sleep is right before bed. Even now he doesn't always fall asleep when I do that and we are getting to the point that we can lay him down when he's just drowsy and he falls asleep on his own. I know how hard this can be because nursing them is such an easy way to get them to sleep (at least for my son), but I think the schedule we made works much better because he tends to take longer naps once he wears himself out playing now. Hope this helps!

Wild_flower25 · May 2013

I only nurse when she's hungry, and then before bed. I would try to get out of the habit of nursing just because she's rubbing her eyes or yawning. Instead when she does that, get her ready for nap with a new routine. Maybe rocking for a few minutes or a story, something like that. You also should work on putting her down drowsy but awake. It's a lifesaver when they can do that.

rockyrollgirl · May 2013

Is she full on screaming or fussing? If you fed, burped and changed her, I would just put her down and let her fuss. If she is screaming, I would stop solids and revisit it later while you get her on a eat, play, sleep routine. I nursed DD to sleep all the time and she set her own schedule. I now put her down when she is tired and let her fuss. If this is not possible, try to be patient. I tried to change this routine too early based on the advice of others who said she would never learn to sleep on her own. It turned into a nightmare when she was so overtired she was screaming at the top of her lungs and it took forever to get her down. Go with your instincts and go with what works for now!

Also a little words of encouragement on the nursing to sleep issue. I found a great article about it on kellymom.com that actually is pro-nursing to sleep and it made me feel a lot better when I did it with DD. It has some tips on how to deal as well.

https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/comfortnursing/

?You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort?. but you are not a pacifier!? ? Paula Yount

Rosebean · May 2013

I honestly recommend you read Ferber. He touches base on sleep associations for babies who require a bottle/ nursing or pacifiers to sleep. We used to nurse to sleep (only at bedtime) and now he nurses, bath, pjs and goes to bed.

He discusses how to move the feedings which you could probably incorporate into a new routine. To me, it would be quite simple to start and should only take you a couple days to see some remarkable improvement.

Beth.1212 · May 2013

I had similar problems. DS, 5.5 months, had to nurse to sleep and wouldn't take a paci. I tried the no cry nap solution, but didn't see strong results. I'm now using "The baby whisperer solves your problems," which does seem to be helping. After 4 days, I was able to put DS down for a nap today and walk away, and he fell asleep! I felt like doing a jig.

In the past few days, there was crying involved, but no CIO. To each their own, but I don't like the idea of leaving a crying baby. And no crying at today's pm nap!

GL! I know how tough your situation is. BTW, I like many of the BW book's methods, but the book seems confusing in places to me. I found the baby whisperer forum to be helpful, even just to browse.

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