Intro
It has taken me a little time to actually be ready to do this. On April 1st of this year my husband and I had a miscarriage. I was 6 weeks along. The pregnancy was not planned, but we were happy none the less. Losing the pregnancy was extremely hard. My husband and I have always wanted a family. I started to let myself get really excited about our future baby. Seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant and I was over the moon to be having a little one of my own. I had been trying to not get too excited about the pregnancy because I was afraid that I would end up having a miscarriage.
The morning of April first I woke up feeling fine. Went to work like I normally do. While at work, I gave in and bought my first items for the baby. Half way through the day, I went to the bathroom for the 10th time. It was then that I saw bleeding. It had really been my fear. I kept checking the TP every time I tinkled because I was afraid of bleeding. I began to freak and left work immediately. On my way home I called the hubby and had him meet me at home so that we could go to the hospital together.
To make a long story short, I ended up losing the pregnancy that night. I've been sad from time to time since then. It kills be that it had to be on April fools day. Feel a little like the world and my body played the cruelest joke on me. The day the items that. Had ordered for the baby arrived, I cried the second I saw them. They sit in the back of my closet now.
Re: Intro
I'm very sorry for your loss.
I had a hard time posting on this board too. I didn't want to admit to people, even myself, that I had lost my baby. But now that you've joined us, we can help and support you
BFP #1: 6/25/09 EDD 2/13/10 @ 6 weeks- Saw HB @ 9 weeks - DS born 2/11/10 (39w5d)
BFP #2: 2/20/13 EDD 11/4/13 - Saw HB 3/19/13 (7w2d) - MMC discovered 4/13/13 (10w5d) - Est. loss @ 9w3d - D&C 4/14/13
BFP #4: 9/10/14 (3w6d) EDD 5/21/15 - natural MC 9/23/14 @ 5w5d
BFP #5: 11/23/14 (3w3d) EDD 8/4/15 - Please be our Rainbow!
I felt the same way about admitting it because then I had to accept it and it made everything real. I am so sorry for your loss.
hubby and I have always wanted kids. I really thought that the last pregnancy was gonna finally be it. Telling him that we lost the pregnancy was one of the hardest things I had to do. I haven't talked about it much since it happened. Thank you, though. It means a lot.
I hate knowing that it was April Fools day. I don't know if I would have been able to deal if it were on Mother's Day. That would have seriously broke up heart. I lost it a little on Mother's Day knowing that I was pregnant and then wasn't. Every time I see the breast feeding cover and baby sling that I ordered, I cry. I thought about giving them to friends who are currently pregnant, but I know I just won't be able to do that knowing that I bought them for my own baby.
It took me awhile to actually be okay to write/talk about this without crying every time. I won't lie though, I cried writing this post because it was like reliving that day all over again. I know that I need to talk about it. I haven't told my friends and family about what happened. It's been something that hubby and I kept to ourselves.
Thus board has been a great support for me during this hard time. It's good to have a place to vent with people who really understand
i think it's really what I need. I held off on telling friends and family about the pregnancy until at least after the first appointment because I didn't want to have to go around explaining to everyone that I was no longer pregnant.