Should I just tell them?

penelopemaria · May 2013

I work in at a very social company. We go out for drinks every Friday. Today my boss laughed and said do you have news? This is the for time you haven't drank. He was laughing - I don't think he thinks I'm actually ku'd.

I now have 3 dilemmas:

1. I work in a very client focused job and I'm easily the most junior person whose ever gotten pregnant. Usually women establish themselves for 4-5 years before getting knocked. I have not

2. We have our annual trip in 2 weeks where all we do is get wasted. I won't have one drink all weekend. I feel it would be painfully obvious and just stir speculation.

3. My salary review meeting isn't until August. I wanted to wanted to wait until after that to tell.

i really have a good relationship with my boss but I know he will be shocked and I don't want to jeopardize any potential salary iincrease.

Wdyt? Should I tell them before the trip??

Eta: grammar fail

TheDairyQueenx3 · May 2013

Well you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. You can always say a medication your takin can't mix with alcohol or just flat out say your not in the mood to drink. But hiding it until August is going to be hard especially once you start showing you will be about 20 weeks at that point and hiding that bump is really hard. That's a judgment call only you can make you know them and how your bosses and co workers are. What ever choice you make GL!

insertclevername · May 2013

If I was in your shoes I would wait.

Mrbatesisinnocent · May 2013

It's been my experience that people frequently catch on way earlier in office settings than expected. In my office there have been 8 pregnancies in the last 2 years and I can tell you without a doubt I knew (as did 90% of the office) everyone of them were pregnant way before they spilled the beans.

Also by August everyone will know, you'll be showing for sure.

2010weddinggal · May 2013

Just tell your boss I'm sure he suspects esp if you stopped drinking every friday.. lol

74dragonfly · May 2013

I'd tell after the trip. I would tell before the salary thing. You will be showing way before then. Also if it is obvious you are hiding it Id wonder why, are you not coming back to work? With DD I told my boss right after 1st tri and told him i was finalizing my day care choice. he knew I was serious about coming back.

cherylnicole · May 2013

Hm. If it were me, I would tell. Only because you said you have such a good relationship with your boss i'm sure he will appreciate you not keeping it from him. Because if you did hide it until August until after your salary increase, of course he's going to know you hid it until then. Just my two cents.

Marchmellow2 · May 2013

I would wait but I wouldn't lie if you're asked. If you lie then you build mistrust. You want them to trust you. And telling them if they ask will only build trust. I would wait until you are really really showing to tell them if no one asks by then. But I strongly believe you should tell the truth if they ask.

FutureMrsCaesar · May 2013

cherylnicole:
Hm. If it were me, I would tell. Only because you said you have such a good relationship with your boss i'm sure he will appreciate you not keeping it from him. Because if you did hide it until August until after your salary increase, of course he's going to know you hid it until then. Just my two cents.

I agree with this.

First of all it's not likely that you'll be able to hide your pregnancy until August from the entire office. And once one person knows...well you know how that goes. Second I agree with the fact that it might seem shady that you hid it until after the raise. If you're close with your boss and he likes you, he'd probably feel offended that you thought he wouldn't give you a raise because you are pregnant.

FutureMrsCaesar · May 2013

cherylnicole:
Hm. If it were me, I would tell. Only because you said you have such a good relationship with your boss i'm sure he will appreciate you not keeping it from him. Because if you did hide it until August until after your salary increase, of course he's going to know you hid it until then. Just my two cents.

I agree with this.

First of all it's not likely that you'll be able to hide your pregnancy until August from the entire office. And once one person knows...well you know how that goes. Second I agree with the fact that it might seem shady that you hid it until after the raise. If you're close with your boss and he likes you, he'd probably feel offended that you thought he wouldn't give you a raise because you are pregnant.

MrsHeeney · May 2013

Marchmellow2:
I would wait but I wouldn't lie if you're asked. If you lie then you build mistrust. You want them to trust you. And telling them if they ask will only build trust. I would wait until you are really really showing to tell them if no one asks by then. But I strongly believe you should tell the truth if they ask.

I agree.

StinaLeigh · May 2013

I'm on the would tell boat - and maybe even before the trip. If you don't tell before the trip and end up lying about why you aren't drinking then you have built mistrust (as a previous poster said). Also, I was pregnant with my first child at this same exact same time of year last time and I was very obviously showing in August. Most likely, you will not be able to hide it come August anyway. Good luck!

Should I just tell them?

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