Asking your H for $.
bigbootyjudi
member
Do you ask your H for money, if it's for something that isn't a necessity?
I have a hard time with this because I've always paid my own away/had a job/etc. When I went back to work part-time, we knew that what I would be bringing in would be just enough to cover my personal bills and half of the household bills. I usually don't have "spare" money, per say. SO always asks me if I need any money for anything and even if I do, I have a hard time telling him yes.
So, I signed G and I up for this mommy and me yoga class, that I contacted the instructor about starting. It's $50/month, so on the cheap side compared to other classes I've seen, and I'm going to ask SO to pay for it. He won't care, he'll gladly hand me $50, but I'm just having such a hard time mustering up the balls to ask him. It's ridiculous because he's always offering to give me money, pay for whatever, etc. I just need to get over myself, right?
I guess a lot of why I hesitate is because he's busting his azz at work while I'm at home, so I don't want to be like, "Oh, you worked hard all day and that's nice, but I'm bored at home so give me $50 so I can go do some yoga." Anyone else feel like this or am I alone in my ridiculousness?
SCANDAL!
Re: Asking your H for $.
I get what you are saying but you are being ridiculous! You NEED things like this. You know it is more than just yoga, it is about getting out and doing something and taking care of yourself. It is okay to do things for yourself and it is definitely okay to ask your partner for help in doing so.
Just do it and enjoy that time! Sounds like a fun class.
BBJ, you bust your azz at home as well with LO, so don't even start to think that way.
If it is within the household means to take the class then just bring it up to him. I am sure he will agree it is a great idea in a second. You are the heart of your home, so anything that will strengthen your mind and body (while bonding with LO) will benefit the family as a whole.
I've never had to ask for money because I make more money than DH, but part of the reason I work is because I couldn't imagine asking my DH for money. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just that I was raised with a working mom and have always worked myself. I can't relate to anything different.
I think long-term the best solution might be to tell him how you feel about asking for money and creating a joint account with some spending money that a little bit is deposited into. That way you don't have to have an uncomfortable conversation every time.
DS #1 Born: 10/03/06, DS #2 Born: 08/06/12 My Cooking Blog
You both do much contributing to your situation together. When I started SAH (Dec. 2011) It was awkward. Granted our finances had already been combined since we were married (I know some don't, but we did). I do all of our finances. Funny I open this, because I was just working on a budget since we are starting to re-settle after the move. You can't look at it as him "giving" you something if it is going to work. It should be something where you feel that you contribute to your household and therefore deserve some things, just like when you worked FT you felt that money was able to be used as you wanted.
I by no means have it all figured out, but especially after how long the two of you have been together and seeing that you have a child together you shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask him to help you out. Especially for something you are doing with Gio. I don't even always feel the need to mention to my DH when I buy something for Aiden, because it is his son.
I did not ask H if I can spend money on my gym membership every month. I signed up for it, and then I gave him a heads up. Once we married, "his" money is now our money. [Actually, it was like this when we got engaged.]
I took me a while to get used to the idea of his money being "our" money. I worked most of my teenage life so I felt really uncomfortable being so dependent on someone when I needed to buy something like shampoo. I totally get how you feel. Try to think of it in the sense that, yes he makes money and you both spend it. But you clean the house and take care of a baby all day long and your SO benefits from that as much as you and baby Gio do. He makes a paycheck, you both have money to survive. You clean the house and take care of LO, you both can relax at the end of each day knowing that Gio is in amazing hands all day.
When DH and I first got married and finances were tight we always ran things past each other first just so we always knew when money was going out. When he deployed and I started managing the finances that tapered off, just because he wasn't around to ask. For big things we talk about it first. Basically any single item that costs more than $30-40 we discuss but he just assumes things like a target trip is $100. After I buy things I run them by him and return things he doesn't like/isn't comfortable with.
That class isn't just for you though it's for your child. If you're uncomfortable because you feel like you're asking because you're bored or it'll seem that way just say that you want to do the class for Gio, I doubt you'd be spending that money to do a yoga class on your own with a room full of moms with babies with them. It's a bonding experience and good for development!
I wear the financial pants in this marriage, so no. DH asks me for money.
You deserve to do something fun, relaxing, and enriching with your child during the day. Ask him for the money and don't feel bad about it!!
Proud Mama to cleft cutie