Second introduction?it's been a few months!

JonesBaby0624 · May 2013

I am trying to decided which board I belong on now. I would like to come back here, since I was part of this board in the past, if that is ok.

I have lost twin boys at 12 weeks. We did the Mat21 test and everything was good, my PgAL brain was getting in control, and then it all went to hell! On Friday May 17, the doc said baby B(Garrett) had a slow heart beat. He wanted to see me again because he thought the slow heart beat could be because of Garrett's position, like maybe he was behind the cord, and we should come back on the 21st. Garrett had always been behind and played catch up, at least since we knew they were twins. His last week he really rallied, he had grown so well, so I didn't understand why his heartbeat would be slow. I went to the doc on the 21st, and laid there to hear his his heart beat again, but I was informed there was no heartbeat.

The good news was, we still had Grayson, he had grown, and his heart beat was strong. The doc didn't seem alarmed so we went for our normal appointment on Friday and everything was good. However, the doc wanted to see us again on Tuesday? the only explanation he gave was Gray's heartbeat was rapid. I hoped for a good appointment but after my multiple losses, which I know so many of you here have endured as well, I prepared myself for the worst. The worst was confirmed as we were told Grayson had no heart beat. The doc went through my options, which I know all too well, and seemed to think he was going to make my choice and do a d&c. I did not want a d&c so he gave me 2 weeks. I will be starting miso tomorrow evening, so I will go through the process while my DS is gone to his father's house.

To add insult to injury, my SO chose to end our relationship, in his driveway, after our doc appointment. We had been together since July of 2011 and it has been tumultuous to say the least. We have lost 4 babies together in that 2 years?it has been an emotional roller coaster.

I hope it is ok if I come back to this board. I feel more in touch with the ladies here and I made some wonderful friends last time I was here. Actually, a couple of long term IRL friends. As I have lurked the last couple of days I have seen many names and faces I recognize from last summer.

Thanks for letting me share my story.

Mrs Nice · May 2013

I am so sorry to see you back here and for all your losses. I hope you can find comfort during this very impossibly difficult time. HUGS!

Noethola · May 2013

I am so very sorry for all of your losses. What a very difficult time you are going through with losing your babies and now your SO too. I too hope you can lean on us as you need. Big hugs!

OSUWifey09 · May 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

It's good to see you back, but not because you had yet another loss. I'm so, so sorry - you are so strong. Seriously. If you need ANYTHING, you let me know, and I'm there. *hugs*

shandorfml2 · May 2013

I am so so sorry for your losses. Hope you can find some comfort here....

Heatherhah · May 2013

I am so sorry for all of your loss and your most recent loss of your twin boys. I am also sorry that you SO has felt the need to walk away from you. You need huge hugs!! We are all here for you whne you need us! Thinking of you!

Heather