a bad week to throw a party

I apologize in advance for this being long.

I had a MC (my second one this year) four weeks ago. It was right before the first of two weddings we attended in May, and H and I decided to just not tell anyone that we were going through it again to avoid being the buzzkillingtons of our social circle. Fast forward  to last week, I found out it was ectopic. We cancelled our memorial day weekend trip to Montreal (my Dr said no way I was travelling even though the risk of rupture was tiny since the embryo had stopped growing three weeks prior) so people got suspicious but didn't push for details. I got methotrexate Saturday, felt like crap, then ended up in the ER Tuesday night and had surgery. I had a cyst that ruptured, which they couldn't see until they opened me up. They cleaned up the damage, which also meant taking the tube.

My wonderful husband has been taking the best care of me since we found out last week about the ectopic. He also has been really pushing me to rest and get better, and he finally told me why. He has this perfect wine tasting party planned for my 30th birthday on Saturday. He's been working on it since my MC four weeks ago because we'd decided to wait until fall to ttc again, and he put together a surprise party knowing it would get me out of my turning-30-and-no-babies-yet funk.

I kind of want to have the party anyway. Now I know about it, so it's not a surprise like he worked so hard for.  I think that I'll be okay as long as I don't mix wine with Percocet. I just don't want it to turn into a pity party, since I'll probably not yet be 100%, and I know I'll get a lot of questions.

How have others found the recovery  from laparoscopy? Both physically and emotionally? I think that spending the day with my family and friends is just the thing to help, but physically, I can't sit up on my own yet - the four incisions still hurt too much. The thought of wearing pants hurts too. I have two days to go but don't want to completely ruin H's plan by cancelling at the last minute. I already had to cancel our mini-vacation. I'm thinking even if I feel like I do today I can just sit through it and still have a good time just by being with our friends and family. 

I think the hardest part emotionally is that we are further along in the grieving process than people realize, but it's like starting at the beginning now that other people know about it.