Having a complete breakdown...

shelliescove3 · May 2013

I apologize in advance if this gets lengthy... I will try to keep it as concise as possible.
I am feeling so many emotions today, this week... And beyond. Maybe reality is finally sinking in I am not sure but thanks for letting me get it out.
I am not sure how many have read my previous posts but I am starting to feel the reality of seeing a specialist in a few weeks regarding my lo's enlarged heart. I am trying to keep positive but it's hard. Why can't having a big heart be a good thing?: I am terrified.. My doctor more or less said yesterday not to worry too much as there is nothing that can be done at this point.
Secondly and a know these posts are made 50,000 times but my weight gain has me thrown this morning.. I shouldn't have looked. I was so careful at first because I am trying to avoid gaining 50 lbs like I did with dd1. Well I am we'll on my way. I am 21 weeks and up 18.
Thirdly I am tired of feeling tired for the millionth time.... It's been hard to do any amount of household chores, errands or exersize spelling..
Lastly I am feeling overwhelmed with the fact that I get zero time to myself...
Pitty party over... Tears shed... Big girl pants on. Alright now to get on with the day. Hope you ladies are having a good morning

shelliescove3 · May 2013

I am sorry my paragraphs didn't stay paragraphs once I posted:

karo112 · May 2013

shelliescove3:
I am sorry my paragraphs didn't stay paragraphs once I posted:

I don't have much to add other than i'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I do know how you feel about the weight gain. i'm only supposed to gain 10 and am up 10 at 22 weeks...so...yeah.

Just keep focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel - holding that gorgeous baby and knowing all the anxiety was worth it! Hang in there!

norbert5 · May 2013

Hey, it sounds like you got a lot going on with the specialist. Sorry you have to wait a few weeks to talk to them. I always think the wait is worse because the "what ifs"start to get to me.

Your doctor seem kind of douchey "don't worry because there is nothing you can do." Uhm okay and while your at it why don't you try to stop breathing as well.

I understand the rest of it as well. I am up 17 pounds, I am exhausted, and I have planned a few girls night outs but at the last minute everyone bails (and I get it I am asking them to meet me in the middle and it that is a 45 minute drive one way). I finally went out to dinner by myself. It was nice but obviously not the same as getting to go to dinner with my girlfriends.

Sorry I am not much help, but you aren't alone. Smile

shelliescove3 · May 2013

Thank you ladies. I am a fairly healthy water anyway.. I already use skim milk , eat a lot of whole fruits veggies, smoothies etc... I am going to try to get out and walk a bit more but it's tough with my bp... My hearing goes in and out, vision goes blurry and I am always fighting passing out. I did lose all of the weight with dd it was just a very slow process. I appreciate your replies and thoughts, it's amazing how much comfort you can get from people you have never met

taylormarie923 · May 2013

I'm really sorry you are having a rough time lately. I know this won't be much of a consolation, but my husband had an irregular heart issue that was discovered a few months after he was born. He saw a specialist for two years before getting the green light. He still has the issue and has been turned down from the police academy for it, but other than that it hasn't effected his health or his life and he is 28 now. I'll be thinking of you and your daughter and praying for good news to come.

As for the weight gain, I am well on my way to gaining more than I had hoped and it definitely has me freaked out. Just do what you can now without depriving yourself and let your body do what it needs to do. And don't weigh yourself at home anymore! I had to stop doing it too or it would be a daily struggle. I let my doc know what my gain is and if she isn't saying anything about it then I am not worried about it.

jpeazybreezy · May 2013

I've been there! Sick, tired, worried. All of the above. I pray that your LO's heart is healthy, and problem free, and that you find out that news soon.

Weight gain is a huge issue for me too this pregnancy. I will be over 200lbs by the end, and that makes me sick. All we can do is try to make healthy choices when we can, and keep getting some meaningful movement (excersize) included in each day. I've decided to stop weighing myself. Its hard to get depressed at Drs appt since I know I will get to hear/see baby, so having to deal with my weight on those days, and those days only will keep me from beating myself up over it.

I totally understand not having time to yourself. DD goes to bed with me at night, so we're together from when I get off work, till I go to sleep, or literally ALL. DAY. LONG on the weekends since she wakes me up in the morning, and we're together until we fall alseep at night. She even comes and tries to get in while I shower. Sheesh. You have to take a break. I will have DH watch her while I pop out to Target. Just to take time to look at pretty things without a toddler crying at my feet. Just an hour or so can make you feel brand new!

As for chores, that one is a sore spot for me too. DH does not do housework, so if I don't do it, it ain't gettin done. It can be hard to relax when you're surrounded by filth, LOL, but you can't do it all. Really, it can wait. I work on keeping one area neat (the couch) so that I can feel free to relax if need be without there being something to guilt me into getting up, or worse, make me feel terrible while trying to relax.

We're pregnant, we can't be super woman right now, not while we're busy keeping babies healthy. Don't be so hard on yourself girlie! You're not alone, you're doing the best you can, and everything will be ok.

Man, was my reply longer than your post?

allymp13 · May 2013

I am so sorry you going through this and you have every right to be upset and vent!

I hope you get good news when you see the specialist. hugs.

redfishbluefish12 · May 2013

It's ok to feel sorry for yourself from time to time. You've got a lot on your plate, no pun intended. Waiting is the worst part, especially because you can't do anything about whether the news will be good or not so good. I'm waiting for similar testing and the only thing that has really helped me is talking to people who have babies that were born with heart problems or were born with heart problems themselves, and everything turned out just fine, even despite drs and specialists saying otherwise. Sometimes things seem more scary on paper, and in medical terms, than they are. Don't get me wrong, its serious to deal with, and it is a big deal to not know, but I hope your LO is just fine. As far as weight gain, if you're doing what you can to eat healthy, don't beat yourself up about it. You'll either gain a lot or you won't. Avoid the scale entirely. The payoff is worth it right!