36 and TTC for the 1st time
jlb1023
member
I'm new here so I thought I would introduce myself and make some friends as I begin this new journey. A little about me...I'm 36 and TTC with my husband for the first time. We have been married for less than a year, although together for over 3 years (1st marriage for both of us and no children). I have been on some form of by Text-Enhance" href="https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/74184203.aspx#" in_rurl="https://i.trkjmp.com/click?v=VVM6NDA2MDE6OTgyOmJpcnRoIGNvbnRyb2w6NTAxNTVhYzQyOTI3NTA0YzFhMjkzMDlhNDQ0YjliZDU6ei0xMDQxLTEwNzU1Mzpjb21tdW5pdHkudGhlYnVtcC5jb206NTAyMzg6NzZiMWQ4YThmYjBiZDdmMzgwZTdkN2Y2Nzk0OTFhNjc">birth control since I was 17, most recently Nuvaring, and just stopped using it this past Sunday. I'm so excited, but scared at the same time. I so badly want to start a family and hope it doesn't take too long to conceive. Obviously, I already have age going against me and I also had the start of endometriosis in my teen years which is why I went on birth control to begin with. Anyone else in a similar situation? Any words of wisdom or advice about TTC for the first time?
I wish everyone on here best of luck!!!
Re: 36 and TTC for the 1st time
Welcome- perhap have a check-up with gyn, start charting (Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility) is a great book with valuable information
I hope you have a happy journey
I 2nd what the pp said, since you know you had endo once you should get it checked out, endo can be an obstacle in ttc.
Some women get a BFP their first month and others have been here for years, we each have our journey, so Welcome and good luck.
My Ovulation Chart
Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
3 cycles clomid with Ob,
1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.
May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN
May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't.
February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing.
SURPISE BFP 4/2/2015!!!!!!!!!!
Miscarriage 4/23/15
HI Jib,
Welcome to the group. It is good that you bought that book, great resource to help you. Most important idea is to learn your fertility window. Get familiar with your basal body tempting, your cervical mucus and add in the OPK tests. In a few months, you should be able to estimate your fertility window, which is key. That is the prime time for baby making, so do yourself a favor and get onto Fertility Friend, it is a free website. It will help you document your daily temps, CM and OPK test results and after a few months, analyze them to give you your averages and help pinpoint your fertility window. It is so much help in helping you get prego.....If, you already knew all this..sorry for my babbling. ;S
Hope this help and best of luck in your TTC journey. Don't be afraid to ask any questions, we are all in this together! Take care.
Thanks for your kind message Jacque! I feel so silly being 36 and not knowing some of this stuff so I appreciate your response
I learned quite a bit from reading that book and am learning even more by joining this site. I'm so anxious to get pregnant and I want it to happen now haha. My husband thinks we should just let nature take it's course and if it's meant to be, it will be. Which is what I said when we first decided to start a family...but now all I can think about is having a baby! Anyway, thanks again...it's nice to know there's a great support system here!
My pleasure.....don't feel silly, we have all been at the beginner's circle of the TTC journey, so we all didn't know quite a bit of stuff about it all. We are all in the same boat, so to speak. I am glad that the book has been so helpful, it really is the bible for conception...Lol.
I, so understand about wanting that wonderful baby, now....I have been TTC for over 4 years, so it has been a task at hand, but it is all worth it!
Yes, all husbands seem to say very similar statements, like, 'don't worry, it will happen when it happens.' So, my suggestion to you, since you and I are on the same page, try not to discuss the TTCing stuff too much with him. They will start to see this all as a chore and lose the interest in trying and complain about it making you feel like a horny ole broad.... Lol. So, I know how you feel that it will seem, as if you are on your own, but don't see it as that. Men have a sense of performance anxiety, so since this process is time sensitive to a certain 5 days within the month, you should use that as an opprotunity to figure out when that time is and then, make a candlelight dinner, wine or just jump him....whatever your passion is with eachother, just leave out the chore like details of your tempting, OPK test results or anything like that to ensure that you can keep the romance fresh between you two. And, resulting in a baby!
I hope this doesn't sound like too much of a chore for you either, but it will bring you your goal of a baby, indeed. Hope you take this to heart....I know from many years of dealing with the husband eye-roll and me feeling like, wow....I have to ask for it, again.... Lol. Yes, we don't have any children, yet.
But, hopefully, soon.
Really nice to meet you and hope you get that BFP real soon!
I just have to say...you seem like an awesome person Jacque! Great, positive attitude and a warm, friendly personality.
I will take your advice on not over talking the TTC stuff with my hubby. Initially, I just assumed he would want to know EVERYTHING lol. But then I started thinking, and you just confirmed it for me as well, that he may see it more as a chore and start feeling pressured or something. And I definitely don't want that. We have been through alot of crap in the time we have been together...and I know it bugs him that I just assume we're going to have problems conceiving. So I'm going to lay off him a bit and try to make it as normal as possible.
Thanks for sharing with me. I, too, hope you get a BFP soon!!! I wish you all the best and much happiness! It was great to meet you too!
Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR, DH: normal
IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
- poor responder
***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
FET 5/20- BFP
1st Beta- 641
2nd beta- 2166
Sono- TWINS!!!!
Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks. Healthy and no NICU! So blessed!
My response to the folks usually men who just want nature to take its course is: if you wanted a garden to feed your family, would you just throw seeds on the ground? No matter the season, or without tilling the soil, or learning what to plant where, so it would grow best? No, you'd talk to someone who has done it, and find out the right way to do it so you could have a harvest the first year, instead of spending years making stupid mistakes! And yeah, it seems like 19year old kids can get pregnant just by halfdoing it once, but the game does change with age, and you don't have years to just blindly try. It's possible to be spontaneous and fun while tracking your body's signs!
Good luck!
Awe, thanks for your sweet words, Jib. That is very kind of you.
I am glad that you see my point about our hubbies. Men always want fun, light-hearted affairs to transpire and when it gets a little too complicated, they tend to disengage. I don't like to generalize, but it seems that many of us, seem to experience this effect. And, us, gals do want to share everything with our hubbies and we think that we are bonding...they see it, as too much information, complicating, we are complaining about it and that turns them off...then, they think, if, it is that hard, maybe, it shouldn't be.....But, again....that is not all husbands, but quite a few of them. So, I am glad you understand to keep it light and fun for you both with lots of passion, and just enjoy yourselves through this process, as much as possible. Most importantly, don't worry and if, you do....just get on here to talk with us or call your doctor to discuss it with them or the nurse, or read books on the subject matter that is concerning you. It seems easy writing this down. Lol, but, there will be it's Ups and Downs through it all, so, take it all in stride.
Take care and let us know how it goes. Oh, did you look into Fertility Friend or another charting site? Let me know, if you have any questions. I can probably help out a bit, if you like.
I just went on fertility friend tonight, signed up and began my chart! Since I've been on BC for so long, I have no idea how long my cycle is...but I'm guessing my chart will help me figure that out.
I appreciate your offer to help with charting questions, Jacque....I just might take you up on that
I'm sure it will take me a couple months to figure things out and get used to the charting process...in the end it will be worth it (hopefully)!!!!
I hope that you will find that FF will be helpful for you. Since, you just stopped BC pills, I would probably go see your OB/GYN to talk about your TTC plans, just so he or she can give you an idea to what you should plan ahead for with your medical history, and since they have the best idea what issues, if any that you will need to address. I have heard from some people that they got prego the first month after getting off BC pills and others were different.... but, I would just get an apt with your doctor to discuss your next steps for TTC. I am sure that they will give you a time frame of around 3-6 months and then, they will want to take additional steps, but your doctor will discuss that further will you.
In regards to FF, you will need to chart for at least three months to start getting an average on your cycle info and an idea of your typical temps. Are you already tempting with a basal thermometer? If not, you should get one soon. They are not expensive. Most stores will have them.
Well, sorry for babbling a bunch of stuff at ya....Lol. I know it is suppose to be fun, right? Lol.... I hope that you will acclimate easily into the TTCing process. And, yes.....it will be worth it!
Take care and look forward to talking with you soon.
I appreciate your responses Jacque and don't see it as babbling at all
I have a doctor appt coming up the 1st or 2nd week in June which I'm anxious for...I'm a bit worried about the endometriosis thing. I remember when my doc initially told me about it many years ago at age 17...he said I had the "start" of endometriosis. Not really sure what that meant or how it might affect TTC now so I'm hoping to get some answers.
I did buy a basal thermometer but I haven't used it yet. I guess I don't want my hubby to see me using it so he doesn't think of us TTC as a chore. He is a very caring and supportive husband and would never say anything derogatory about me temping...it's more in my head that I don't want him to feel pressured or for our TTC to feel unnatural to him. But I know it's a big part of charting so I think I'm just going to have to get over it and start doing it. I know it can only help in the long run.
I appreciate your kind reponse and for sharing your story with me SuburbsMrs. I wish you much luck as well!!!
Good Luck at your appt., and hope all will be well. Keep us posted on how it goes...
Your husband sounds like a great guy, I am sure he will be of great support!