Visitors the day of?

MAKENZIE06 · May 2013

With my first baby I had an emergency csection at 10:42pm. I was so swollen and so out of it afterwards I don't remember anything until the next morning. I wasn't even able to hold or breast feed my baby until the next morning. I was furious, but was still able to breast feed, and continued to do so for a year. Well, my question is, should I have visitors wait until the next day or at least later in the evening after my upcoming scheduled csection, as to give time for me to rest, and bond with baby?

mnj05 · May 2013

I think it's a personal decision but here is what I had planned for either type of birth. I was induced and ended up with a c/s and DS was born at 7:51pm. My original plans no matter what, was minimum 2 hours of just me, DH, and DS. I wanted that time as a new family of 3 and everyone in our family understood that.

What ended up happening is my parents and DH's parents came in for 10 minutes, if that long, because visiting hours were technically over and I was so exhausted from pushing for over 3 hours plus groggy from the meds and it was a horrible combination. They were all there the next day as soon as they were allowed though.

rockyrollgirl · May 2013

That is entirely your decision. Your next surgery might go more smoothly since it is scheduled. I would just wait and see how you feel when the time comes.

Ardmhs83 · May 2013

I would. My section was also around 10pm. My close family was there, but nobody else. Everyone else waited until the next day and I was in so much pain, drugged up and had breastfeeding problems that I wish I would have requested another whole day without visitors.
Next time I'm planning a natural VBAC, so hopefully everything will be totally different. Depending on the time, I think I will still keep visitors away for a little bit. It was just too overwhelming for me. It is a very personal decision though.

Mom38673 · May 2013

I agree with the others. It's a personal decision. With my first, I went in at 6:30 a.m. Close family was there by 7. They were there for a few minutes. All left, and came back to visit after lunch. I was totally fine. Wished I would have had time to shower, but fine with people being there.

HattieDornbush · May 2013

Personally I would have much preferred for all visitors to wait a day.

sonshine0609 · May 2013

Like PP's have said it really depends on what you are comfortable with and your situation. My hospital doesn't have a limit on visiting hours for maternity so that wasn't a concern for me. My last c/s was scheduled early in the morning. Close family was there the whole time anxiously awaiting updates & came in shortly after I made it to my room. They ended up coming & going throughout the day. For me this was great since c/s was planned & went smoothly. Plus in my situation being a single mom it meant a lot to me to be able to have people around to help & to share those important moments.

ninambutler · May 2013

My daughter was born at 2:03 pm after 3 days of labor. When they finally brought her in to me my parents,patenal grandparents, my grandma, and BD were there. I didn't even notice. I just held her and was in my own zone. They all left and to be honest I barely remember the rest of that night. I say if you have visitors have them be super close to you and only for a moment later on. But it really is a personal decision.

Ms.Dbohannon · May 2013

My doctor told me to hold off on visitors until the next day since it was major surgery. I told all my family and most understood that because I didnt know what type of pain or other issues I was going to have especially being a FTM. Most of my family i told them to come the next day after 3pm just to make sure I am not in too much pain and able to get out of bed and walk or wheelchair around to visit the babies in the NICU. But it is totally up to you

capulet · May 2013

I felt much better in the hours immediately after my RCS than I did after my first (same sort of thing, emergency c/s, totally out of it right after birth, couldn't nurse DD for hours afterward although I had no trouble long term). My water broke with DS before my scheduled RCS date so I ended up having him around midnight and couldn't have visitors until the next morning anyway, but I think if I'd had him in the morning as scheduled, I would have been okay having close family visit in the afternoon. It took me about an hour and a half after surgery with DS to get into recovery and nurse him, and aside from being tired because it was late at night I wasn't exhausted from labor like I was with DD.

happylady5 · June 2013

Ditto PPs.

I had unexpected c section at 9:00am and didn't get into my recovery room until 4:30pm because they were watching my blood pressure. It was high The only visitors that night were our families. And the visits were quick because I felt awful and was extremely doped up on meds and tired.

If I was you, I'd just tell people you'll wait and see how things go. Then play it by ear.

Deez10 · June 2013

Definitely a personal decision but here's my experience from my scheduled c/s. (Point being, I really wish I had asked people to either 1. come the next day or 2. not come to the hospital at all.)

My c/s took place at 7 am on a Saturday morning which meant both sets of families wanted to be there, in the waiting room, during surgery so that they knew immediately whether or not things went OK. When surgery was over and baby and I were in our room with DH, recovering, all I could think about was that our families were sitting there... waiting for us. I just felt bad and couldn't shake the guilt. Just knowing they were excited and wanted to meet DS really weighed on me and I felt enormous pressure to quickly "bond" with him and then immediately usher the family in to hold him. Which is exactly what happened. I spent barely an hour with my son before I had to share him. Once the family was there, I literally didn't get to hold him again for hours (granted, I could have been more vocal about them handing him back but that's a story for another day). It was just way too much (for me at least). And our families aren't even that big: DH's mom/dad/sister - my mom/dad/brother.

I was tired, drugged, overwhelmed, and all I wanted was for everyone but DH to leave so we could be with DS on our own for more than a few minutes at a time. The worst part was when well-meaning family friends heard the news and started randomly dropping by. Just what I've always wanted, my mom's BFF walking in only to see me breastfeeding my son because I thought we finally got an alone moment together. My bad.

Next time around, we are making it very clear that we will call people if we are up for visitors and that's the only way anyone is allowed at the hospital - by invitation. I feel kind of guilty about this but really hated how "busy" we were chatting/entertaining/letting others hold LO while we were supposed to be getting used to becoming a family of 3. Next time around, I want as much time as I need without the worry about making people wait. I also want the comfort of knowing I can strip off my gown and breastfeed my son without anyone I know walking in (besides a nurse or doctor I suppose).

GL (sorry for the novel), I hope this helps with your decision!

starrkitten89 · June 2013

We told everyone (including grandparents) no visitors until the next day, and I am so happy I made that decision. I had some complications after (I developed pre-e during or right after delivery with protein in the urine/high BPs and had severe blood loss) and there is no way I could have dealt with visitors. It is a personal decision for sure but I'm so glad we decided on no visitors.

Mrs.RockyM · June 2013

My first csection was after 10 hours of labor. She just wasn't progressing. My second was scheduled. It was a COMPLETELY different experience.

I remember so much more the second time around and I was much more with it. I was also mobile way sooner. I hated that nobody could tell me what to do, but it really just depends on how things go. My section was scheduled for 12, but they were running late (scheduled sections are usually bumped for emergency sections) so I didn't have DD2 till 2. My inlaws and parents came to see DD2 after we were brought into a room. I didn't want to rush my time in recovery and I wanted time to bond with DD2 and also attempt to breastfeed. They came in around 4, and my mother left to go pick up DD1 at preschool, and brought her back around 6. We played DD's visit by ear since I didn't want her to come if I was out of it. I was fine by then, but I was still very tired.

I'd hold off on scheduled visitors aside from the most important ones till the next day, unless you can play them by ear. At a bare minimum you'll probably want to wait till later in the day for even the most important visitors. You don't know when you'll actually go back for the section, or how you'll feel afterwards.

kreeper611 · June 2013

I agree with pps that this will be a personal choice.

With DS, a noon planned c/s I felt pretty rough the day of. Not in pain, just really drugged up. I don't really remember much of the few hours after. We had quite a few visitors and though I wouldn't have said no to family I wish I had felt better.

With DD I had a 9am planned c/s and felt really good after. We had probably the same amount of visitors and I had no issues. I didn't feel as druggy or sluggish. I was mostly worried about getting something to eat!

Want a personalized experience?

Visitors the day of?

Re: Visitors the day of?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards